live in North Carolina. My ex now lives in GA due to military schooling. My divorce was completed in Sep 08, my custody order was completed in May 08. I am the primary custodian in a joint custody arrangement. NC does not define joint custody and leaves it to the parents.
My ex is taking me to take trying to modify the custody arrangement for him to become the primary custodian, to discontinue his CS if he is grated the change and to have it court-ordered that I am not allowed to have a man live in my home with me unless we are married or related by blood. His request is for the following reasons:
1. I cohabitat with a man that I have not disclosed the name of. (He has a history of threatening individuals I am dating and my divorce atty stated I did not have to disclose the name as long as it was a safe home environment. NC repealed the cohabitation law in April 2007.)
2. That I moved without informing him of my move in a timely manner. (he filed the paperwork 3 Oct 08. I started moving after I filed for final absolute divorce on 24 Jul 08, I did not finish moving until 8 Aug 08. I informed him of my new address via email on 11 Aug 08, twice on 13 Aug 08 and on 15 Aug 08. He sent me a letter to my new address and it is date stamped by the P.O. 19 Aug 08) I did move to another county, but when he cannot pick-up our son at the daycare per our court-order I meet him half-way between our homes in a public place.
3. That I am not allowing communications between him and our 4 yo son. (He wants my home number and I have provided him with my cell phone#, per my divorce atty's advice. I have asked him not to text me, which he does throughout the work day and he sees this as limiting his communication w/ a 4 yo that can't read. I have offered for him to call and speak to our son at least 3x a week. He only calls once a week by choice and I always make sure our son is available to speak.)
4. He states I do not give him enough input into our son's life or give him enough updates. (I email him and give him updates following all dr and dentist appts. He has all the information about his daycare and the elementary school he will eventually attend. I send him occasional pictures that I take, since he doesn't have school pictures yet. Our son is seen at the same clinic he has been at since the day he was born and my ex chose the dentist he uses.)
I accomodate his visits because he does not come back to NC very often. He very often visits for less time than I offer and always has a "reason" for this. Our seperation/divorce has been strained and I did attempt to get a DVPO at one point, but could not due to witnesses not being able to or willing to testify. This motion for modifying child custody and another case for malicious prosecution for the DVPO came together following the attempt for the DVPO. I went to my county SAFE house and they are the ones that directed me with the DVPO, so I am protected there because I filed for it on their advice.
What can I do? I have evidence that 98% of what he is saying is not true. The part that has me worried is disclosing the name of my boyfriend (I have disclosed it since I have been served the motion. He states he wants a background check on my boyfriend and to speak to him about raising "his son". He has even demanded his SSN. I have informed my ex that: my boyfriend in a county deputy sheriff, he has no criminal background and that he is not a sex offender.)
What foot do I have to stand on? It feels as if he is using the court system to harass me because I attempted to protect myself from his other forms of harassment/stalking behavior.
My ex is taking me to take trying to modify the custody arrangement for him to become the primary custodian, to discontinue his CS if he is grated the change and to have it court-ordered that I am not allowed to have a man live in my home with me unless we are married or related by blood. His request is for the following reasons:
1. I cohabitat with a man that I have not disclosed the name of. (He has a history of threatening individuals I am dating and my divorce atty stated I did not have to disclose the name as long as it was a safe home environment. NC repealed the cohabitation law in April 2007.)
2. That I moved without informing him of my move in a timely manner. (he filed the paperwork 3 Oct 08. I started moving after I filed for final absolute divorce on 24 Jul 08, I did not finish moving until 8 Aug 08. I informed him of my new address via email on 11 Aug 08, twice on 13 Aug 08 and on 15 Aug 08. He sent me a letter to my new address and it is date stamped by the P.O. 19 Aug 08) I did move to another county, but when he cannot pick-up our son at the daycare per our court-order I meet him half-way between our homes in a public place.
3. That I am not allowing communications between him and our 4 yo son. (He wants my home number and I have provided him with my cell phone#, per my divorce atty's advice. I have asked him not to text me, which he does throughout the work day and he sees this as limiting his communication w/ a 4 yo that can't read. I have offered for him to call and speak to our son at least 3x a week. He only calls once a week by choice and I always make sure our son is available to speak.)
4. He states I do not give him enough input into our son's life or give him enough updates. (I email him and give him updates following all dr and dentist appts. He has all the information about his daycare and the elementary school he will eventually attend. I send him occasional pictures that I take, since he doesn't have school pictures yet. Our son is seen at the same clinic he has been at since the day he was born and my ex chose the dentist he uses.)
I accomodate his visits because he does not come back to NC very often. He very often visits for less time than I offer and always has a "reason" for this. Our seperation/divorce has been strained and I did attempt to get a DVPO at one point, but could not due to witnesses not being able to or willing to testify. This motion for modifying child custody and another case for malicious prosecution for the DVPO came together following the attempt for the DVPO. I went to my county SAFE house and they are the ones that directed me with the DVPO, so I am protected there because I filed for it on their advice.
What can I do? I have evidence that 98% of what he is saying is not true. The part that has me worried is disclosing the name of my boyfriend (I have disclosed it since I have been served the motion. He states he wants a background check on my boyfriend and to speak to him about raising "his son". He has even demanded his SSN. I have informed my ex that: my boyfriend in a county deputy sheriff, he has no criminal background and that he is not a sex offender.)
What foot do I have to stand on? It feels as if he is using the court system to harass me because I attempted to protect myself from his other forms of harassment/stalking behavior.
