Alcohol & Drugs: MIP, MIC, Intoxication MIP; WA State, non-comliance

Status
Not open for further replies.
T

TeriC

New Member
My daughter (18) received an MIP. She was drinking "bitch" beer at a party. She was not driving; she was standing in a garage. A neighbor called in a noise complaint; cops showed up. Unbeknownst to me at the time. She attended her hearing and pleaded guilty. She was sentenced to alcohol assessment within 90 days, minimal fine. She told me (her Mom) a month later. I drove down, moved her back home. I arranged her assessment.
She started IOP treatment, attended meetings, etc. She relapsed with only 2 weeks to completement of treatment. She was kicked out of treatment. She moved back out back south with her friends. The Judge moved her next hearing up 2 wks. after receiving letter from recovery ctr. She was to obtain another assesssment, attend 1 meeting every day for the next 3 mos. Her next hearing is Jan. 9th. She has just started attending meetings (14 now), has not done assessment. She got fired from 2 jobs; not currently working, doesn't want to use her gas to drive to meetings, has no $$ for bus fare, etc. I am staying out of this and letting her fall hoping she'll learn. What about deferred prosecution or is it too late at this point????
 
I'd say it's too late and she may very well find herself in jail eventually.

You did the right thing by letting her fall flat on her own. Perhaps when this house of cards comes crashing down on her, she'll come to an epiphany and understand that ignoring problems does not make them go away. Excuses only work so long as the overburdened system lets them.

Good luck to you.

- Carl
 
raskalnikov said:
What exactly is "bitch" beer?

There's a very good chance she'll face jail time.
Click to expand...
I'm thinking b-i-R-c-h beer. Which, of course, is not really beer - it's root beer.

- Carl
 
"bitch" beer is those nasty ales like Mike Hard Lemonade and Bartles & James, etc.
I hope my absence at her last hearing was noticeable to the Judge. One of her negative
influencing roomies is marrying and moving out. The positive influencing roomie left attends college and works 1-2 jobs. I'm hoping the absence of the negative roomie will also help turn my daughter around in a better life path. Thanks!
 
I'm afraid you're correct with regard to the jail time. When I attended her Hearing back in June, I told the Judge that my daughter wanted to move back down there with those old roomies, go to Portland to the clubs, etc. I told him I didn't think it's a good idea and asked his opinion. The Judge looked my daughter in the face and told her to "listen to your Mom". According to her counselor in rehab, she blames me for everything she's done negatively and doesn't own up to her actions. It's a shame; I'm the one she called when she was in a bad place, no one else. She knew I'd help her out.
 
The only positive thing I can do now is to let her fall. It's very difficult as a Mother to watch your child making the mistakes when she knows better and has been there before! I tell her every time she and I speak--the positive steps to take and how to do them. I ask about her job hunting, do they have food, is she sleeping, etc. I point out the calendar dates and give her a timeframe before her next Hearing to get the assessment done, etc. She was an "A" student until she started drinking. It's a shame.
 
Sometimes Judges allow "day for day." If your daughter has insurance, perhaps she can go to an inpatient drug rehab center. Unfortunately, most are only 14 days or so, many are less and only exist for detox purposes.

There are also halfway houses, 3/4 houses, etc. The more time your daughter has clean and sober, as opposed to just not drinking, the more she'll again return to her more positive qualities.

The Judge may sentence her to a combination of things. She may get jail as well as a 3/4 house, etc. I would think the Judge will sentence her to mandatory A.A., which may be 3x week, which may even be 90 days in a row and then 3x week, etc.

Good Luck to you. I know it must be hard.
 
This definitely is a difficult thing to deal with. She attended a wedding/reception last Friday night and was hungover Sat. at 1 pm. She still hasn't had the new assessment done. She was told she needs to apply at DSHS since she's basically indigent. The rehab place recommended at 28+ day stay, but she declined and moved away. The Judge is aware of this. She now wants to go back to college. I told her I will not pay for college until I know she has at least completed the alcohol assessment as I suspect she will receive jail time in Jan. thus missing some classes. Back in Oct. she was sentenced to AA meetings 7 days a week for 3 mos. plus a new alcohol assessment.
She didn't start attending meetings until recently. She a huge procrastinator...I'm at a loss as to how to handle any of this situation; let alone deal with the normal parental guilt (what could I have done diffferently, etc.). I asked all of the questions a parent is supposed to ask; where, who, when, what, etc. She had to be home for dinner every night. I honestly don't know what else I could have done except sequester her in her room. She would be running late for school, so she and a girlfriend would smoke pot
and show up stoned for school. How could I have prevented that? I don't know that I could have....She's having a hard time in her life right now...I hope she straightens up
for her own good. I tried to get her into an Oxford House, but she refused and moved away. I had her in therapy, enrolled her in college, she was working, etc.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top