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Male friend I'm dating spies on me through my cable and says he has PIs Harassment, Stalking, Misconduct

Discussion in 'Criminal Charges' started by fauciwatcher2, Jun 1, 2020.

  1. fauciwatcher2

    fauciwatcher2 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
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    I am engaged to a high profile doctor. He is extremely controlling and tech savvy. Because of child custody -- (I have a child 2 hours from his work and family) we live together but have apartments in 2 separate cities.

    He has always mandated we share locations on our iphones and i've done it. But, he monitors me left and right when I am in my son's town or working. He asks me "why are you __ " "That took a long time at Starbucks, did you meet someone?". It's been bad. I've started going to therapy and suggested we stop sharing and he said no. He threatened to leave me if I insisted on that.

    Recently he started mocking me for not paying my cable bill. (It's in my name and my name alone-- I pay all the bills etc). I asked how he would even know that? As it turns out, he made himself a primary on the spectrum cable app and was stalking who was logging on and off the wifi in my apartment.

    It was honestly more of a freaky thing because I had nothing to hide, but he said there were other accounts. (He learned it was my neighbors because they were also on while HE IS HERE!) Ding ding ding.. clearly there are no people here.

    Recently I asked for the same rights to his apartment and he said no. He was also installing cameras in the apartment to watch his adult children when they come to party (or so he says). But I saw that it was one and pointing at me in his apartment so I unplugged it.

    He has been very clear that he will not allow me to have these rights in his apartment. So yesterday I called Spectrum and I recorded the call. They clearly stated that he set it up so that all info and IP address monitoring goes to his email and app. I removed him and he flipped out. He said I was "sick in the head" and that I clearly have something to hide. I said look -- if you won't let me do it to your apartment, you won't do it to mine. End of story.

    He said in text "don't worry, i have my other ways to monitor you. My investigation just intensified".

    Bottom line I am realizing I must leave him. And I am scared. In my state because of COVID my legal clients say it's pretty difficult to get a protective order.

    I want this man to pay for this. I want him to face criminal charges for stalking me. I have the evidence and I want to be bold and show the police what he's capable of. BUT -- I need to know if i'm off my rocker and that they will roll their eyes at me?

    He stalks me now and he also told me he had PIs on me. I told him that if that was the case he would not be saying these things because he would KNOW it wasn't true. I realize it's not illegal to have PIs on me -- but I am SICK of this. SO sick.

    Should I seek a criminal lawyer first? I have a feeling the cops will just roll their eyes at me? I don't know. Any advice would be great.

    He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but that he needs this tracking to verify he can trust me. We have been engaged 5 years.
     
  2. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    First: He is not your spouse. He is your boyfriend who you are thinking of marrying. Second: Why in the world is he still your boyfriend who you are thinking of marrying?
     
    leslie82 likes this.
  3. fauciwatcher2

    fauciwatcher2 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I've been through years of this on and off. And since I work remotely and i'm typically
    near him every day -- I just let it go. But this has intensified now that I'm spending more time at my own place.

    Is there anything he can be charged with? Do I have any legal claims with the evidence I've gathered?



     
  4. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    After reading your previous commentary, and the above noted sentence, let him leave.

    Why would anyone (man, woman, monkey, chimp, duck, goose, or insect) allow a mate/significant other/lover/spouse or even a friend to control and dictate what you MUST do?

    No adult human being should ever allow anyone to mandate, dictate, threaten, or even cajole you into doing anything.

    You are a free, adult, human being.

    You live in the United States of America.

    You owe no one any answers, much less some wannabe important person.

    You're not dumb.
    You're not weak,
    Run, don't walk, don't wait; tell this loser goodbye no later than 5:00PM today.
    To do anything less is willingly submit yourself to life of servitude and subservience to an egomanical, controlling wannabe potentate.

    Man him speak with forked, lying reptilian tongue.

    Isn't it time to free yourself, break the bonds of the beast that binds (and spies) on you?
     
  5. fauciwatcher2

    fauciwatcher2 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He has told me that if he leaves me (which he threatens non stop) or if "I" leave him -- he will ruin me.

    I need to be buttoned up. I want to have ammo to get a protective order. Is that possible? Do i have anything of legal substance?

    I personally want him to pay for what he's done to me with criminal charges, if it's possible.


     
  6. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    When one is truly threatened, one does not worry about legal posturing. Get out of the relationship.
     
  7. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    I'm sure he (or anyone for that matter) could be charged with any number of criminal offenses.



    What he's done (continues to do) is done with your permission.

    Pay for your own cable, and he can no longer obtain any data about how any aspect of the cable service is monitored.

    If you have a friend read what you've posted and ask for her/his opinion about the commentary, don't be surprised if you hear two things:

    1 = How/why does someone put up with that nonsense?
    2 = Why would anyone want to be around a controlling egomaniac, much less date/marry one?
     
  8. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    Psssttt: She does. "It's in my name and my name alone-- I pay all the bills etc".
     
  9. fauciwatcher2

    fauciwatcher2 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He NEVER paid for my account! EVER!

    He just used it to access my info. he NEVER paid and was never given access to that account. that's my point.

    I recorded the call -- so that way I can have evidence

     
  10. PayrollHRGuy

    PayrollHRGuy Well-Known Member

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    You need to be much more concerned with getting out from under his thumb than worrying about getting charges filed against him.
     
  11. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    I'll repeat the response I gave you Saturday on the other site:

    There are no "legal" issues. Like many abused women your fear is making you helpless. Fear of this, fear of that, what if this, what if that. That's how the control freak continues his abuse with impunity. He's not going to learn a lesson. Once you make the break, he's going to move on to the next helpless woman.

    You don't need documentation and evidence. All you need is the courage to make the break today, change your locks, change your passwords, block his phone, text and emails.

    Call this agency:

    AVDA (Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse) | End Abuse / Begin Again

    If they don't have a presence in your city, then can probably refer you to one that's local.

    Now, tell me again why you aren't going to do this TODAY (which was May 30th when I posted).

    Apparently you haven't taken my advice since, two days later, you are asking the same questions on a different website.

    The answers aren't going to change no matter how many websites you visit.
     
    shadowbunny likes this.
  12. fauciwatcher2

    fauciwatcher2 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you. I just hate the idea of this going unpunished. It is hard to swallow. The threats etc. Hard not say ....just wait until you hear from the police. You know?
     
  13. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    If that is TRUE, the prying, controlling male wouldn't get access to ANY cable data.

    Does anyone get access to YOUR cable data, but YOU, assuming you pay your cable bill (and its in YOUR name)?
     
  14. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Better that you free yourself of this bully today, rather than worry about the bully getting his comeuppance tomorrow!


    Maybe, but you'll be alive before the bully kills you or mentally destroys you.

    If you block the ability of the bully to call you, text you, email you; you'll receive no more threats.

    If you move to a new, undisclosed location, he'll have no way to reach you.

    Stop fearing the lil, sad, bully.

    You're a big, bad, woman.

    If you're really worried about your safety, hire an armed bodyguard; or get yourself trained to receive a concealed carry permit.
     
  15. PayrollHRGuy

    PayrollHRGuy Well-Known Member

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    And empty threats aren't going to help you.
     
  16. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    I am trusted by several people enough that, not only do I have access to their account, I actually have full control. They wouldn't even know who to call, much less anything else about their account. I have, without even having to look something up, enough information to completely impersonate (remotely, not in person, of course) 2 people, and easy access to the information required for another half-dozen. It is entirely possible for it to occur. Having said that, I do believe that the OP gave authorization for the guy to have full access to the account.
     
    Disabled Vet likes this.
  17. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    That is the point I attempted to make in a rather obtuse, but gentle way.

    I do NOT for one moment doubt your trustworthiness.

    You, however, would never engage on the conduct that the bully is alleged to have perpetrated.

    You and millions of other people on this planet are trustworthy.

    My point was that it can also happen if it is being paid for and in the name of another party.

    No one but my wife and I have access to any of our financial and other confidential information, with the exception of the trustee (a trust officer employed by a large bank), manager of our trusts.
     
    Zigner likes this.
  18. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    Legal clients?

    No one here can possibly predict how any given police officer might react. However, it sounds like virtually everything that happened was with your consent, which isn't going to make a criminal investigation terribly likely.

    Unless you've been charged with a crime, you don't need a criminal lawyer.

    Time to disconnect your lives and move on.

    No one here is privy to your evidence.

    Yup.
     
  19. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    DUMP THIS GUY. NOW. TODAY.

    Don't worry right now about whether he can or cannot be criminally charged. That's not the major issue here.That's a secondary issue that can be addressed later. You need to get control of your life.

    Keep going to therapy.

    Call a few lawyers, but for the moment stick with general practice attorneys. They can tell you if you have something for a criminal attorney or not.
     
  20. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    This man is very dangerous in my opinion. You need to not only cease seeing him but put as much distance between you as possible. You might even seek legal advice on protective orders if applicable. This is an unhealthy relationship and you need out today!

     

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