Lose parental rights... what is considered contact?

[mikeshonda750]

Hi folks, I have trolled the many posts and havent stumbled across one that answers my question so here goes.

I have a son who lives with his mother (we werent married). After he was born, child support was established (since we were not together and she was on public assistance), and i have been paying ever since. The 1st few years my contact was limited to what she felt like giving me, which usually involved her bringing him over to my parents house to visit for a while.. which was all find and dandy. Then she "disappeared" for quite some time and i had no way of contacting her. After much grief with the court system, i filed a petition for visitation to be established, went to court and started on a "modified visitation schedule", which consisted of a few weeks of seeing him sundays at her house, then opened up to a few weeks of sundays where i would pick him up for a few hours, then a few weeks of overnighters (saturday/sunday). All went according to plan except the overnighters, which proved to be too hard on him because he couldnt tolerate being away from mom that long (he was 6). We went back to court, agreed to go to a full on "court schedule" which consists of friday evening to sunday every other weekend.

The sunday visits continued for a while but became harder and harder to convince him to come over, to where finally he would throw a fit and not want to leave. Sometimes she would also have his little friends over when it was time to pick him up. Other times she wasnt there all together which left me trying to get him to come with me while the baby sitter sat in the background and was ZERO help.

I finally "gave" up on the notion that he was ready to be around me all the time, and figured it be for the best that he "outgrow" it. He's soo much like me its insane.. same interests.. looks just like me.. so im figuring after hes a little older, he will realize just what kind of fun stuff im into, and what type of work i do, hobbies .. ect.. that he will want a relationship with me.

NOW the question... Is there any way she can take my parental rights from me? Considering i havent seen him in about a year and a half.

During all the visitation hearings, she had told me "You are lucky because if you had waited one day longer Tim(boyfriend) was going to file for custody and you wouldnt be able to do anything about it"

Also during the visitation hearings she kept begging her lawyer saying "What if he stops comming over to see him... i know he will!" .. which i did hear her lawyer reply "We'll cross that bridge at that time, focus on whats happening now"

Her lawyer really took a liking to me, and was a fairly straight shooter... But i desperately DONT want to loose my rights as a father.

Any advice would be much helpful! Thank you

 

[Duranie]

Your post is a little confusing, but you need to file for a set visitation schedule. You might want to see an attorney since you know mom is not going to cooperate.

The fact you have not seen him in a year in a half is not good and you should have taken mom to court long before now.


At this point you need to be persistent in being allowed to reguarly visit the child unsupervised. Keep records of mom not allowing you to see the child.

 

[calalily]

You can always do something about it. Like Duranie said, you need to be consistant with seeing him, even it is only at the mom's house for a few hours a day. Do the day outings if he won't spend the night. Check your state laws online on parental rights and custody so you'll know your rights. Just curious, why didn't you see him for a year and a half? Call and talk to him at least regularly if you can't visit to keep a line of communication open with him and tell him about all the fun stuff you are into. You can always write letters or email him too anything to stay in touch so that when he's ready you will have already established some type of connection.