"Loan" from ex-fiance

[sweetpea820]

I was engaged to be married this June. My dirt bag of a fiance cheated --- in our home while I was asleep in our bed --- and I called off the wedding, canceled the plans we had to buy a house and asked him to move out. (And changed the locks.) It appears he now believes he will sue me for $12K that he says he loaned me.

He did indeed write me two personal checks that add up to $12K. I used them to pay off credit cards and take care of our home while he served 18 months in Iraq. When he returned to the states, I began to pay for things that should have been his to pay for --- car insurance, his share of rent and groceries...the logic being that when we were married, our money would all be together. And didn't it make sense to save the money on what would have been the APR on the credit cards?

I suppose we discussed me "paying back" this money by agreeing that I would put the money I would have put towards the credit card into a savings account. I did this, as well as pay for a number of his expenses.

When he cheated, I told him I was not giving him any money. He acknowledged that he did not deserve any money anyway.

Do I owe him the money? Can he sue me? Do I need a lawyer?

 

[Michael Wechsler]

I am sorry to hear about your predicament. As you know, you are very lucky to find out long before the wedding than after so count your blessings.

Unfortunately he can sue you - but that doesn't mean he will win. If he was paying for the home without expecting to be "paid back" then it is not a loan. A loan means that there was an expectation of being paid back and a time for payment, e.g. "in two years from the date of the check." Taking the position that you were paying expenses on "our" home makes it even more certain that this was not a loan but his contribution to your joint effort.

Remember, it is his burden of proof that he expected to be repaid. You should emphasize that he cannot point to this. If there are goods that can be separated, e.g. a car, it might be a different story. But remember, he also has to drag himself into court and embarrass himself. Perhaps this is all just fighting words to hopefully recover something...

Best of luck to you in the future with this matter and men.

I was engaged to be married this June. My dirt bag of a fiance cheated --- in our home while I was asleep in our bed --- and I called off the wedding, canceled the plans we had to buy a house and asked him to move out. (And changed the locks.) It appears he now believes he will sue me for $12K that he says he loaned me.

He did indeed write me two personal checks that add up to $12K. I used them to pay off credit cards and take care of our home while he served 18 months in Iraq. When he returned to the states, I began to pay for things that should have been his to pay for --- car insurance, his share of rent and groceries...the logic being that when we were married, our money would all be together. And didn't it make sense to save the money on what would have been the APR on the credit cards?

I suppose we discussed me "paying back" this money by agreeing that I would put the money I would have put towards the credit card into a savings account. I did this, as well as pay for a number of his expenses.

When he cheated, I told him I was not giving him any money. He acknowledged that he did not deserve any money anyway.

Do I owe him the money? Can he sue me? Do I need a lawyer?