Just Told About 4 Year Old Child...

[lndybird]

My boyfriend and I started dating in late June of 2003. Yesterday, he received word that he may be the father of a four year old boy conceived shortly before that time. According to the mother, she had a boyfriend at the time she slept with him and she had told the boyfriend that the baby was his and they went on to marry. During recent divorce proceedings, her husband had a paternity test performed and found that the child is not his. She claims that my boyfriend is the only other person who could have fathered the child. We live in North Carolina, as did she until recently. She has moved to California with the child to be closer to her family, leaving us in completely uncharted waters.

My concern right now is safeguarding our finances since my boyfriend doesn't know this woman or her true intentions or those of the ex-husband – I understand that the ex-husband who was deceived for 4 years may be within his rights to sue my boyfriend for costs related to the child. We are not married, but we bought a house together two years ago with me listed as the primary borrower and him as the co-borrower. We are in the process of refinancing and I'm wondering if I should have the new mortgage listed in my name only to protect my only true financial asset. We are both 28 years old and only recently gaining a sure financial footing as adults. I want to support him and help him to do the right thing for the child if it is his, but I also want to make certain that my financial security isn't threatened by my boyfriend's indiscretion before meeting me. I understand that my separate finances are not in jeopardy, but what about the house? If he is sued by the ex-husband, will it be at risk with us listed as co-borrowers?

I've also wondered if he should seek legal council prior to obtaining a paternity test or if he should get a test first. Any insight into the legal ins and outs of this whole situation will be greatly appreciated. I'm devastated by this prospect.

 

[jacksgal]

First off remove yourself from this. Its not your fight and if you read through these threads you will see why. Second was this child concieved or born during a marriage? If so that man is the legal father. Now that could change with these DNA results. Your Bf needs to seek paternity test. Once that is done and he is established as Father and Mom (not you) can seek rulings on custody/visitatio/support. Your income means nothing its his that counts. He will likely be ordered to pay support as he should.

 

[lndybird]

Thank you for responding. I understand what you are saying, but my question is to do with my house, not my boyfriend's or my finances. If we are both listed as borrowers on the mortgage, and if the ex-husband were to sue him for the costs of the last four years, would my house be in jeopardy if his name is on the mortgage, too? That is my concern.

 

[jacksgal]

Quite possibly but consult an Attorney to be sure. However the suit may not mean much since this other man also thught child was his and your BF was not even aware the child existed. Was the child born before or after marriage?

 

[Duranie]

The womans husband likely has no claim at all against your BF. It's mom here who deceived him. Also if he is the legal father (either by marriage, or by signing the birth paperwork) this guy might be on the hook anyways. 4 years is generally too late to dispute paternity. This man should have had a DNA test done long before now if he suspected anything. also this 4 yr old thinks this other man is Dad, and it is not in the childs best interest to disrupt that.

So at this time your BF doesn't need to do anything. I am not sure who has jurisidction on this case, if it is NC or CA. The paternity laws in each state are a little different. Wherever the divorce is filed I believe, will have jurisdiction.