Issues with Siblings in finalizing probate and real estate

[C M B]

Jurisdiction

Virginia

Hello....I will try to make this simple.

I am one of 3 children. Our parents are both deceased (father in 2014, mother in Feb. 2018).

My sister is the executor of the estate, however she takes the advice a lot from our brother. They both live in CA and I am in SC. But the estate and property are in VA.

Probate has yet to be finalized. Most assets have been distributed, I am not sure what the hold up is.

All 3 of us were left our parent's home equally. They wanted to rent, I did not. We agreed upon a buyout price about 4 months ago. They asked to get home on the market and rented to show proof of income to refinance, the house went under a rental agreement in July.

I messaged my brother about a month ago and asked the status of the refinance and buyout. He replied he was busy and made an offhand comment about how the market is shifting (making me think he's rethinking the buyout amount). He's a very difficult person to work with anyway, and so I try to keep contact quite limited.

So the home is being rented, I am still a third owner as I have not quit my claim as of today, I see/hear nothing of them moving on the refinance and buyout process. Nor do I receive any of the rent they have collected this far.

What would my next step be? I do not enjoy having this situation unfinished. I am still in grief counseling and it's not helping me gain closure.

Thank you in advance.

 

[army judge]

What would my next step be?

Your next step, after dilly dallying, and jaw jacking with these buzzards for two years; is to hire yourself a real estate (or wills and estate) lawyer and instruct her or him to file an action to partition the property.

When you petition the court to partition a property owned by two or more people, the court employs an attorney (who will be paid out of the sale proceeds) to sell the property at the fair market value and disburse said funds through the court equally to all of the owners.

In your case, each of you will receive 1/3 of the profits, after the lawyer and the court have taken their cut for settling a family dispute.

Often times the threat of such a lawsuit, coming from one of the owners lawyer will be enough to convince the others to settle amicably, because there is more money to divvy up, if the court and the court appointed lawyer don't have to be paid.

That only works, if the other owners can be trusted. In your scenario, trusting the other two would likely lead to more lies, excuses, delays, and no money in your pocket.

 

[C M B]

Thank you so much for your reply. I feared this would be the case but it seems to be headed that way. I have no issues with my sister but he steamrolls her a lot and for whatever reason she allows it.

Next question - would lawyer need to be in VA or is a SC attorney fine?

Thank you again.

 

[zddoodah]

My sister is the executor of the estate, however she takes the advice a lot from our brother. They both live in CA and I am in SC. But the estate and property are in VA.

Just to clarify, was your sister actually appointed by the probate court in Virginia to serve as executor? I assume your mother had a will that nominated your sister to be executor. Correct? If you know, why did she nominate a daughter on the other side of the country when you live only two states away?

All 3 of us were left our parent's home equally. They wanted to rent, I did not. We agreed upon a buyout price about 4 months ago. They asked to get home on the market and rented to show proof of income to refinance, the house went under a rental agreement in July.

I take it your siblings are going to buy you out. Correct?

I am still a third owner as I have not quit my claim as of today

Has title been transferred to the three of you, or is it still in your mother's (and father's?) name?

What would my next step be?

Depends on how you answer the questions I asked.

I am still in grief counseling

After a year and a half?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Thank you so much for your reply. I feared this would be the case but it seems to be headed that way. I have no issues with my sister but he steamrolls her a lot and for whatever reason she allows it.

Next question - would lawyer need to be in VA or is a SC attorney fine?

Thank you again.

A lawyer in VA where the property and probate is takin place.

 

[C M B]

Just to clarify, was your sister actually appointed by the probate court in Virginia to serve as executor? I assume your mother had a will that nominated your sister to be executor. Correct? Yes, I was with my mom when she did her estate planning. My mom is Korean, and it's always the eldest child who gets the responsibility.

If you know, why did she nominate a daughter on the other side of the country when you live only two states away? See above.

I take it your siblings are going to buy you out. Correct? Yes, they will buy me out.

Has title been transferred to the three of you, or is it still in your mother's (and father's?) name?

It is still in my parent's name is my understanding with transfer upon death instructions.

After a year and a half? I didn't start counseling right away.....I've only been in counseling for the last 3 months. It took me time to realize I had deep, complicated grief.

 

[C M B]

A lawyer in VA where the property and probate is takin place.

OK, thank you.

 

[army judge]

Next question - would lawyer need to be in VA or is a SC attorney fine?

You need a lawyer that is licensed to practice in the state where the estate is being probated.

I presume that means a VA lawyer, if I recall correctly the jurisdiction from your top post.

 

[army judge]

After a year and a half? I didn't start counseling right away.....I've only been in counseling for the last 3 months. It took me time to realize I had deep, complicated grief.

You have no need to explain the depth of your grief, or how long you mourn the loss of two very beloved people in your life.

We all grieve and mourn in our, unique way.

I have a couple of friends who grieved more deeply over the loss of a pet, than either did for their parents.

I simply respected their own unique grief, as I respect yours.

I once worked for a person who told me that I would only be allowed three paid days upon the loss of my father.

I said, okay, I'll take about a month unpaid leave.

He said if you do, you're fired.

I said, no worries, I quit.

I walked away and never looked back.

His boss called me a week later and apologized for how my former boss handled my request, asked if I'd come back with with a promotion and a raise.

I said, let me think about it, and I'll get back to you in a couple weeks.

I accepted his offer two weeks later, and he told me take as much time as I needed, just keep him informed.

I returned, and stayed there another five years, and the weasel that thought he was a dictator, was terminated during my absence, when it was discovered he'd treated a dozen other employees the same way, all in violation of a written policy.

Please accept my sincerest apology for the brusque manner in which you were addressed.

Take whatever time you need (you'll know when its right), and may you eventually receive comfort and peace upon your two great losses.

 

[C M B]

You have no need to explain the depth of your grief, or how long you mourn the loss of two very beloved people in your life.

We all grieve and mourn in our, unique way.

I have a couple of friends who grieved more deeply over the loss of a pet, than either did for their parents.

I simply respected their own unique grief, as I respect yours.

I once worked for a person who told me that I would only be allowed three paid days upon the loss of my father.

I said, okay, I'll take about a month unpaid leave.

He said if you do, you're fired.

I said, no worries, I quit.

I walked away and never looked back.

His boss called me a week later and apologized for how my former boss handled my request, asked if I'd come back with with a promotion and a raise.

I said, let me think about it, and I'll get back to you in a couple weeks.

I accepted his offer two weeks later, and he told me take as much time as I needed, just keep him informed.

I returned, and stayed there another five years, and the weasel that thought he was a dictator, was terminated during my absence, when it was discovered he'd treated a dozen other employees the same way, all in violation of a written policy.

Please accept my sincerest apology for the brusque manner in which you were addressed.

Take whatever time you need (you'll know when its right), and may you eventually receive comfort and peace upon your two great losses.

Thank you so much....I believe sometimes people don't understand until they have to understand. I'm sure I was less empathetic prior through my own ignorance.

 

[zddoodah]

Just to clarify, was your sister actually appointed by the probate court in Virginia to serve as executor? I assume your mother had a will that nominated your sister to be executor. Correct? Yes,

Are you saying "yes" to both of the questions I asked or just to the one about nominating your sister?

Has title been transferred to the three of you, or is it still in your mother's (and father's?) name?

It is still in my parent's name is my understanding with transfer upon death instructions.

Huh? Parents' names (plural) or one or the other parent's name (singular)? What does "with transfer on death instructions"? Was there a transfer on death deed?

In any event, I agree with this:

A lawyer in VA where the property [is located] and probate is takin[g] place.