Is this good cause for custody?

[aliciam]

My son lives with my ex husband. When we divorced, we both agreed that would be best, since I was not employed and would have to find a new place to live. He is now almost 8 years old and comes to visit me at least once a month as they live over 100 miles away and my work schedule is a bit crazy. I have had routine phone calls with him 3-5 nights a week for the past year and a half.

I just found out over his winter break that when he is disciplined at home, he is whipped with a belt on a bare wet bottom. This type of discipline does not work with him and he is becoming a very withdrawn child. The only reason I have not taken action right now is that I am dealing with back child support and don't want that to taint anything.

My question here is: What are my chances like?

My income is more than double his, my home is more safe and stable than his, and I fear that my child is not being treated right for mental health issues.

Any thoughts or advice?

 

[Duranie]

You are basically going to have to prove that this is abuse. Being spanked with a belt is not child abuse in some states. If it leaves marks, it may be.
Income does not matter but curious if your income is double his why you are behind on child support. That does not look good. I would get caught up and then see about filing for custody but the fact you live 100 miles away is tough. The child will have to change schools and be seperated from friends and it will make it very hard for Dad to be as involved. Who moved orig?

You have to prove it is in the childs best interest that custody be changed. If you are trying to go off of a one time belt use, it will be hard.

 

[aliciam]

We actually both moved. I moved about 75 miles South and he moved about 30 miles North. I am behind on child support because of some clerical issues with the child support office, which I'm trying to fight now.

I wish it was a one time belt use, but I know it's not. The belt whipping itself is not what is bothering me the most. It definitely bothers me, but the worst part I think is that they do it while he is naked and wet. To me, that is just wrong.

Since they moved, he has already changed schools and lost all of his friends and he still has not adjusted, he tells me all the time that he hates his new school.

Also, he should be on anti-depressants (per a psychiatrist) but they don't get the Rx filled (and the only reason I know this is because his health insurance is through my work).

 

[ohiogranny]

Have you called CPS to see if this is considered abuse? Has he told a school counsellor about it?

If it were me, I wouldn't be concerned about child support, especially if it was through no fault of your own that you have arrears. Even if you don't get custody because of it, if it's considered abuse, Dad will be put on notice.