Inappropriate Forum Behavior

[DavidAtl]

I came here yesterday and saw a message from a divorced father seeking advice about signing over rights for his children. He was in a bad spot, unemployed, and owed child-support.

Two of the forum members, Duranie and Jacksgal, instead of offering advice, chose instead to attack the man personally and suspect his motives.

If you want to help someone, help them. If you find you cannot do that without outright judging them or attacking them, turn off your computer and leave it to someone who can act more objectively. It's that simple.

 

[jacksgal]

Dear David he got his legal answers. He also got unsolicted opinons. Its free advice you get what you pay for. Let me ask you would giving up your children be an option if money was tight!? By the way the best way to handle your complaint would be to use the report button (yellow triangle)

 

[DavidAtl]

Dear David he got his legal answers. He also got unsolicted opinons. Its free advice you get what you pay for. Let me ask you would giving up your children be an option if money was tight!? By the way the best way to handle your complaint would be to use the report button (yellow triangle)

It's your "unsolicited opinions" that you should keep to yourself. He was polite and he politely asked you to stop attacking him, yet you persisted, like a harpy, picking at him until he lost his composure. If you recall, I did not suggest he give up his children. I have been in his position, and if you also recall, I suggested that he buckle down, that things would get better.

I came back today to see what ever became of the conversation, and the entire thread was gone. The only reason that I know at all what happened is from the remains of the thread that show up on Google search.

As a father who does not have physical or legal custody of my children, who became unemployed when the business I worked for went under, I fully empathized with his situation. I love my kids more than anyone else on earth. At the same time, when you rack up $800 per month in back child support, along with fear of losing your home, car, etc, it is easy to make poor decisions. My ex-wife was kind enough to help, as I have her when she lost her job. Since that time, I also have been fortunate enough to stay gainfully employed, slowly reducing my debt one paycheck at a time. This man, Injustice2008, was in a similar situation. I know that he is probably younger than me, for him to consider doing such a thing.

I was appalled to see the way you two "senior members" interacted with this person, who came here for answers. Instead he was personally attacked. I cannot sit by idly and watch humans do this to each other, be it man, woman, or child. He obviously loved his children, if you'd actually paid attention to his well-worded post.

You focused on him "abandoning" his kids, choosing to pick at him. If you'd really cared about him abandoning them, you might have answered as I did. What you did was only for your own sick pleasure, not to aid someone. I've seen your other answers, and you did not overreact as you did to this man.. Perhaps if you oversaw your answers with a modicum of maturity, you could be an excellent source of advice for everyone.

 

[jacksgal]

I focused on his willingness to toss his children aside to save his wallet. If you had spent anytime here you would see countless threads but NCP or new wives/husbands. These ar children living human beings. they are not old car to be discarded when they cost to much to maintain. Stick around awhile read these threads get angry. I stand by my post and its content. If you do not lik eit you can use the report option or place me on ignore or even leave site but I stand my ground. this Father was willing to dump his children to save his wallet. that wa shis intial question which was why it was addressed in manner it was. My husband in a CP his children and ours all live here. His Ex pay ZERO in support it often times been tough. However NEVER EVER did we reconsider where the children should live! We (not the children) made sacrafices tp make ends meet. We are now in a better position and grateful for the decisions we made. that thread was never about options (until we brought them up) it was about giving up rights to save money. That is why I was so appalled. He never defended that or gave me any reason to believe he was what he claimed "a good Dad". good Dads dont abandon their kids!

 

[Michael Wechsler]

Quite honestly David, I've only seen you come here and post 2 complaints in our suggestion box. We've kept your post up here because we believe in transparency in an honest forum but, in fairness to two long time posters who have helped numerous people, I think anyone would question the reason for your post. I'm wondering why, if you've got something of substance to say, you don't share it yourself in the thread?

I'll say one more thing - I don't know the thread you are talking about specifically but after a while you begin to see a pattern. Many people don't want to accept the choices they have available to them in order to make the best decision in a difficult place. For the most part, I've found the forum members incredibly encouraging, insightful and - best of all - provide viable options and not some feelgood words that will help nobody, least of all the person hoping to read something of true value.

Thanks for your input and I hope your next contribution will be positive.

I came here yesterday and saw a message from a divorced father seeking advice about signing over rights for his children. He was in a bad spot, unemployed, and owed child-support.

Two of the forum members, Duranie and Jacksgal, instead of offering advice, chose instead to attack the man personally and suspect his motives.

If you want to help someone, help them. If you find you cannot do that without outright judging them or attacking them, turn off your computer and leave it to someone who can act more objectively. It's that simple.