I'm the only female...diff rules for males?

[noregrets]

I am the only female service advisor amidst our service department. The Service Manger (male) continues to change the rules when it comes to me. For example, a male service advisor left for a doctors appointment and did not return, the Service Manager asked me where he was, did he not come back from his doctor's appt? To which I responded no and I didn't know where he was. The male service advisor was not repremanded for this. Recently a similar situation happened to me. I had a doctors appt and called back to the dealership to tell a fellow service advisor as well as leaving a message for my Service Manager that I would not return b/c the doctor said I needed to stay off of my feet for a couple of days. It times past, the Service Manager insisted that if I was to call off or call in to say that I would be late, that I make sure that I leave a message for him b/c I had problems with this same co-worker once when I called in and left a message with him and then they lied to the Service Manager saying that I hadn't called in. So I followed my Service Manager's protocol in reference to calling in but I also left a message for my co-worker (the same one I had a problem with before). When I left for my doctor's appointment, my Service Manager was there and was aware of my doctor's appointment. When I called back in to say that I wouldn't be back in that day, I had to leave a message for the Service Advisor b/c he was not at his desk. I returned the following Monday (this happened on a Friday) and was pulled into the Service Managers office. He asked what happened to me after my Dr's appt. I explained that I talked with my fellow co-worker and left a message for him. He explained that the owner came through on Friday looking for me and no one (including the co-worker) I talked with knew where I was and that he (my Service Manager) had taken the rest of the day off as a vacation day and had no way of getting my message on Friday. He then told me that the owner was very upset about the situation and told him to send me home for a day! Even though I followed his protocol and left him a message. He did not relay that to the owner either. I have more years experience than my Manager in this industry and I feel he is threatened by that. In addition, the owner is always talking very highly of me (according to others) and I have a hard time believing that the owner told him to send me home and I have a meeting schedule with him to try and set the record straight. The total dealership has 50+ people on staff, but I am the only Female Service Advisor. I feel as though my manager is feeling threatened and is attempting to try and push me out. This is only one example of where he has a different set of rules/repremands for me than he does for the male advisors. He has a habit of calling everyone in his office, expressing his expectations, then overlooking it if the male advisors break the rules. There are 2 male advisors that are continuously late 2-3 times a week, yet no repremand has been issued for them...only verbal warnings. I really like the owner, but am struggling with this manager as well as this co-worker who continuously lies. Is this a case of harrassment based on gender? What should my recourse be in regards to this situation?

 

[Beth3]

My take on the situation is that all would have been fine except for the fact that the owner happened to be looking for you and your boss happened to be on vacation that same day and therefore didn't get your message. So the owner was irritated that he couldn't get an answer on where you were and chewed your boss out and he in turn chewed you out. Pretty par for the course, regardless of anyone's gender.

There are 2 male advisors that are continuously late 2-3 times a week, yet no repremand has been issued for them...only verbal warnings. A verbal warning IS a type of reprimand.

I really like the owner, but am struggling with this manager as well as this co-worker who continuously lies. A co-worker who continually lies is a snake. That doesn't make him guilty of harassing you due to your gender.

Is this a case of harrassment based on gender? Not that I can see.

What should my recourse be in regards to this situation? Look for another job?

You describe some things that are unfair but I just don't see gender discrimination or prohibited harassment.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

This is a tough case. I'm not sure that you would have a clear case of discrimination and, if so, what the proceeds may bring you should you choose to file suit -- and then likely have to pay an attorney and court costs. My thoughts are you may want to document all the items that are happening, e.g. write down times each male employee is late, etc. If you are at the end, you may want to challenge the person up the totem pole about the problem -- does the owner know about this? How much does he trust the Service Manager? At least you'll have some ammunition that perhaps someone is being too lax with the owner's business and that won't sit well with the owner. These things require a decision by you depending upon where you are as to whether you want to push the envelope...

Originally posted by noregrets
I am the only female service advisor amidst our service department. The Service Manger (male) continues to change the rules when it comes to me. For example, a male service advisor left for a doctors appointment and did not return, the Service Manager asked me where he was, did he not come back from his doctor's appt? To which I responded no and I didn't know where he was. The male service advisor was not repremanded for this. Recently a similar situation happened to me. I had a doctors appt and called back to the dealership to tell a fellow service advisor as well as leaving a message for my Service Manager that I would not return b/c the doctor said I needed to stay off of my feet for a couple of days. It times past, the Service Manager insisted that if I was to call off or call in to say that I would be late, that I make sure that I leave a message for him b/c I had problems with this same co-worker once when I called in and left a message with him and then they lied to the Service Manager saying that I hadn't called in. So I followed my Service Manager's protocol in reference to calling in but I also left a message for my co-worker (the same one I had a problem with before). When I left for my doctor's appointment, my Service Manager was there and was aware of my doctor's appointment. When I called back in to say that I wouldn't be back in that day, I had to leave a message for the Service Advisor b/c he was not at his desk. I returned the following Monday (this happened on a Friday) and was pulled into the Service Managers office. He asked what happened to me after my Dr's appt. I explained that I talked with my fellow co-worker and left a message for him. He explained that the owner came through on Friday looking for me and no one (including the co-worker) I talked with knew where I was and that he (my Service Manager) had taken the rest of the day off as a vacation day and had no way of getting my message on Friday. He then told me that the owner was very upset about the situation and told him to send me home for a day! Even though I followed his protocol and left him a message. He did not relay that to the owner either. I have more years experience than my Manager in this industry and I feel he is threatened by that. In addition, the owner is always talking very highly of me (according to others) and I have a hard time believing that the owner told him to send me home and I have a meeting schedule with him to try and set the record straight. The total dealership has 50+ people on staff, but I am the only Female Service Advisor. I feel as though my manager is feeling threatened and is attempting to try and push me out. This is only one example of where he has a different set of rules/repremands for me than he does for the male advisors. He has a habit of calling everyone in his office, expressing his expectations, then overlooking it if the male advisors break the rules. There are 2 male advisors that are continuously late 2-3 times a week, yet no repremand has been issued for them...only verbal warnings. I really like the owner, but am struggling with this manager as well as this co-worker who continuously lies. Is this a case of harrassment based on gender? What should my recourse be in regards to this situation?

 

[Wolfmann]

What would you get out of it in the end? What you're talking about sounds a lot like the crap I deal with every day as a duty manager and trying to keep everyone happy.

Talk to human resources about it, or go to the owner if you have access to him/her. The important thing is that you need some ammunition to show him/her. Write a letter as well, that will make it actionable. Keep a little book and write the times of the comings and goings of your co-workers if you have to. Keep a journal of every day you work if you have to.

There's not too much anyone can say if you can clearly show a pattern of abuse, and it's hard to not draw a conclusion that something isn't right. In the end, though, I still do not think it makes it necessarily a full fledged discrimination case where you need to proceed civlly.

Exhaust all your options and give the organization a time to correct it's actions and show good faith...they may not even be aware of a problem and the first thing they're gonna say is, "You shoulda come to me first," and if you can't say anything other than, "I did. Twice." then ask yourself "What, in the end, is this worth to me?"

It may suck but you may just want to find another employer that is more suitable or respectful of it's employees.