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I want to sell my house but my ex-partner (co-owner) abandoned the house and won't give me an answer

Discussion in 'Other Ownership, Use & Privacy Issues' started by Baires, Mar 26, 2021.

  1. Baires

    Baires Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I am not sure if this issue belongs to this topic... please let me know!

    My now ex-partner and I have been together for over 16 years. We are a lesbian couple, never married, sharing a home we bought 11 years ago. Originally, the house was in my name and for the most part of 10 years, I've been the one paying the mortgage. In 2016, my partner decided she wanted to be added to the title of the house, to which I agreed. From what I gather, she is in the title but I am still responsible for the mortgage. She is now paying half of the mortgage, as it should be.

    For the past few years, we went through a lot of stuff, unable to save our relationship, we were ready to break up. Her mom passed away and she brought a lot of her stuff home. Boxes and piles of toys, clothes, appliances, kitchenware are taking over our basement, sunroom, and what used to be our room. I sleep in a separate room.

    The issue now is that she left the house about 40 days ago. She just left and refused to answer my phone calls and messages. She said that she was staying with a "friend" that needed her there. She kept saying "I'll be home tomorrow" but never did. Another time she said that she was helping someone finish their bathroom; apparently, she borrowed them money and they were about to be evicted and she needed to help them so they could pay her back. This doesn't make any sense to me. She never answers my phone calls and replies to my messages 2 or 3 days later.

    The situation is very strange and hard to explain.

    I keep asking her if she's okay, if she is in some sort of trouble, but she insists that she's okay and I need to trust her. In the meantime, I am taking care of the house and the animals. Last week one of our cats had to have surgery and he ended up passing after I had to rush him to the emergency vet. She wasn't here for us and I had to deal with all the emotional trauma on my own. It hurt so bad.

    I am continuously begging her to come home to clean up her stuff so we can put the house on the market and move on with our lives. I want to leave her so bad but I can't. It's like she refuses to be here to take care of her stuff.

    My question is... can I force her to deal with her property so we can sell the house? She says that I can't do anything to her property because it's also her house and she is paying for her part of the mortgage. But I am stuck here. I can't do anything until she decides it's time to clean up and sell.

    Is there anything at all I can do legally? At least to intimidate her. Any piece of advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you!
  2. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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  3. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Even if she wasn't paying, she is still a 50% owner and you can't do anything without her cooperation or a court order.

    Delay is the deadliest form of denial.

    Yes, read the statute that justblue provided. Once you file and serve the partition lawsuit she will be under pressure to cooperate or the house gets sold by the court at auction for a lot less than it could be sold for on the open market.
  4. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    No adult can force any other adult to do anything.
    Any attempt to force a person to do something will often be met with recalcitrance, obstinance, and resistance.

    It is never wise to add anyone (not your spouse and that is sometimes questionable) to the deed, allowing the person equal ownership to your real property.

    This most recent episode should illustrate why you never do what you admit to doing.

    It might be time to hire a lawyer in an effort to untangle the mess you've made of your life.

    Sure, you're not married, but the AWOL woman has a grip on your property.
  5. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    To anyone else who might read this thread: This is why purchasing a home with a person to whom you're not married is a TERRIBLE idea.

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