I need advice, information, HELP!!!

[coastalbend]

My husband is currently trying to have his parental rightes of two children (ages 5 and 2) he had with another woman revoked, ecause he hasn't been much in their lives at all and they're a huge child support bill. He and I also have 2 children (ages 2 and 10 months) and our marriage is not doing well. Last night, in the same conversation that he told me he doesn't want me to get a job, even part time, because he doesn't want the added responsibility of having to take care of the children after he gets off work, he told me that we are getting a divorce and that he will fight for custody of our children.

I have been a homemaker for much of my 2 1/2 year old's life. I am the one who feeds them, cares for them, has bonded with them. Until I told him that his lack of involvement with the kids was a reason I wanted to leave him, he didn't do ANYTHING...It was my job to be the parent, the only parent, because I wasn't working outside of the home and because he "isn't good with small children." Another reason for me wanting to leave is that he continually talks about wanting to put our baby up for adoption because he gets in the way of my husband having the kind of life he wants with me. (Both kids do really, but he has grown attached to our daughter.) The ONLY reason he wants to fight for custody (because he has only ever talked about them going with me ("when you leave take your screaming erchons with you") is for money. He got abused in the child support thing with his other kids, and only because she sought state help, not because she filed for child support herself. He knows that I would need state help as well and doesn't want to have to pay child support. THAT'S IT! He doesn't actually want our kids, but I do. I would go to any length for them! In the state of Texas, it seems like the father wins custody a lot, and he has the job currently. I would have to go back to Nebraska as I have nothing here.

Please help me!!! He would neglect them at best and mistreat them at worst if he gets them. He will and already is using them as weapons. He has also already talked about getting custody and then trying to get rid of our son!!!!

 

[Duranie]

Sorry but your husband does not get to dump his kids because he had more which he cannot afford. You also knew he had these kids. The courts absolutely will not allow him to petition this. Only mom can petition and she will have to have a step-father be willing to adopt.

So your post is changing topics. The first part of it is him wanting to termimnate his rights for his 2 prior kids, then you say you want a divorce and want custody of your 2 kids. One has nothing to do with the other. If you have been primary caregiver, you likely would get custody but I have no idea what his prior kids have anything to do with this. If you get a divorce you are most definitely going to have to get a job. He will be ordered to pay CS and his previous CS order will be factored into the equation.

By the way if your husband does not want any of his kids he should stop getting women pregnant. Shame on him.

You should call legal aid or see an attorney and file for divorce. It is possible you might be able to move with the kids, if you can prove the move is in their best interest.

 

[coastalbend]

yeah

His ex is the one petitioning for him to give up his parental rights and someone else is going to adopt them. Thank you. I mentioned that because I wanted to "set the stage" so to speak about the kind of father he is to see if that will help me in keeping my children. I was asking for information and advice and I feel like you yelled at me! I agree that he should stop getting women pregnant! He should have stopped before me! And I am duly aware that I am going to have to go back to work. I said that to point out the issue of - he currently makes the money and I don't - will that have ill effect on my keeping my kids? Still, my question is still primarily unanswered.

What can I do to help insure that I won't lose my children to their father, who only wants to fight for them so that he doesn't have to pay child support?

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: What can I do to help insure that I won't lose my children to their father, who only wants to fight for them so that he doesn't have to pay child support?

A: You must be able to show that you are the best of the two choices (you and pa). How can you do that? What do you do with the kids to make sure all their needs are met? Make lists. Take photos. Tell us what you do.