how to talk to children

[semperfi4000]

I am looking for some advice on how to talk to my children. My Ex-husband and I have somewhat a rotating summer visition. I see my children this weekend. However, I spoke with them on the phone today. My Ex and I do not have a good relationship and when speaking with my children I can tell they are upset with me. I have a feeling my Ex has been lying to my children about things and that is why they are upset with me. I am fairly certain of it. I would love to tell the children the truth about there Dad, but that certianly isn't the right thing to do, and they shouldn't be brought into adult sititutions. But, I know they will act out this weekend, i foresee it coming. Any advice on how I should hand the children if they act out.. Should I just keep my same routine as we always do during the school year. If that is the case, there be a lot of time-outs.
thank you

 

[irish223]

I am looking for some advice on how to talk to my children. My Ex-husband and I have somewhat a rotating summer visition. I see my children this weekend. However, I spoke with them on the phone today. My Ex and I do not have a good relationship and when speaking with my children I can tell they are upset with me. I have a feeling my Ex has been lying to my children about things and that is why they are upset with me. I am fairly certain of it. I would love to tell the children the truth about there Dad, but that certianly isn't the right thing to do, and they shouldn't be brought into adult sititutions. But, I know they will act out this weekend, i foresee it coming. Any advice on how I should hand the children if they act out.. Should I just keep my same routine as we always do during the school year. If that is the case, there be a lot of time-outs.
thank you

I applaud you for realizing that your children shouldn't be put in the middle of an adult situation, even if your ex doesn't realize it.

I suggest family counseling for you and the children if possible on your weekends, or if you have an evening during the week. A third party, the counselor, can broach those issues with your children. You can just tell them that you've noticed their anger toward you, and that you want to go to counseling to heal the rift.

Good Luck