How do I have my court order enforced?? Not throughFamily Court obviously... I don't know if I'm more frustrated with dealing with my sons father or dealing with Family Court who can't enforce his child support payments and visitation schedule. For over a month now I've been calling several times a week just to have them tell me that he hasn't returned their phones calls and they are still waiting... They offered to send out a letter to him that was at least it was better than the dreaded "phone call" that he wasn't responding to, and now it was documented. I asked what other courses of action I had available to me and was advised that I could put through a request through Enforcement Court to have his wages garnished but that could take up to a year, so what they usually hoped was that the repeated phones calls requesting payment would actually provoke the delinquent parent into actually paying... As for our agreed upon visitation schedule; my sons father has only once (yes you heard me correctly) once adhered to the court order in 4 years. February 8th 2003 my sons father took him for the weekend while I was writing my Law school aptitude test. Not yet in 4 years has this man stuck to the agreement that he would take him 2 weekends per month for the entire weekend, nor does he grant me the required 48 hours notification upon exercising his visitations. He always has some excuse that he can't let me know that far in advance because he is so busy running his t-shirt printing business and working at the hospital, etc, then gets mad at me if I don't let him take him at that moment... Huh? Several occasions he has agreed to take him over night and suddenly returned my son after a few hours because "something came up" and then the next day my phone will be ringing off the hook because all of my friends will see him out drinking at the bar. I don't understand how someone who is unable to make time for their own child because they are "too busy with work" but can make time to go out drinking and socializing nearly every night of the week. Unless they're completely irresponsible and have priorities geared more towards partying than parenting, of course... I had even mentioned this to Family Court when they called stating my son's father had made a complaint that last Christmas that I had "Denied him visitation". I hit the roof because that was an absolute lie. We never had an agreement that he would be taking my son for Christmas. In fact the bloody liar didn't make efforts to contact me the entire month of December except leaving a couple of voice messages just to see what we were up to. The first time he had actually spoken to me in weeks was after supper on Christmas Eve when he called up to say he was taking my son the next day and I informed him that we already had plans. He was completely belligerent even after I once again explained to him that my family hated him for leaving me while I was pregnant and was sleeping with someone else, and that we were not spending Christmas with his family this year because he had decided to attend and no one was comfortable with him being there. I honestly don't understand how people can be so stupid and full of themselves that they think their actions have no repercussions, or why he thinks what he did to me and family is no big deal. Anyways, after I explained this to the Family Court case worker, and the fact that he continually refuses to grant me 48hours notification for his visits and expects me to allow access to our son when it suits his lifestyle with little regard for anyone else, nor had he made attempts to contact me in over 5 months, she advised me that she was going to let him know that he was going to have to start adhering to the court agreement or stop complaining. But what about my rights and the rights of my son to see his father and not be the last priority on his fathers list right after drinking, partying? There's absolutely nothing I can do to enforce these visitations. There is nothing I can do to make this selfish, self-centred, irresponsible and unreliable man act like a real father. I have mentioned many times that the practice of coming in and out of our son's life whenever it suits his lifestyle is not emotionally or psychologically healthy for our son but he just keeps ignoring me and continues to be the worst possible father I could imagine. I don't understand why there is no system in place to hold visiting parents accountable for their actions...But then again I can't even get him to pay child support so I guess I'm wasting my breathe. I had even provided to the court his last several years of visitation history. Why do I even keep records, you ask? At first it was because my lawyer advised me to do it as we were going to court and I wanted full custody and was in no way I was settling for joint with this irresponsible man so I guess it was just for a safety net. But even after that I just kept keeping track because -firstly he only sees him a few times every couple of months so it's not like it's time consuming- but I guess mostly I keep records so that one day when my sons father decides he's done being "Mr Party-Guy" and wants to have his son in his life, I can show these to my son, and he can make an educated decision on whether he feels this man is worth having in his life. The records show just how irresponsible my sons father has been and included things like:
August 19th 2003- I had given Keith several days notice that I needed him to babysit while I was at a job interview this day. When I called to drop my son off he stated that his friends had called him that morning wanting to go boating and they were currently in Shediac in the middle of the water. He said if I still wanted him to babysit I could drive the baby out there he would meet me on the dock... I ended up having to make other arrangements
May 23rd 2002-Keith was scheduled to take our son for the night. Last minute he said he couldn't as he was going clubbing with his friends in Saint John. I told him to bring the baby to his Mom's for the night then because I had made plans around the fact he told me he could take him. Keith drove him to Saint John and left him at his Grandmothers house while Keith went out partying with his friends.
April 2002- No visitation- Keith was scheduled to pick up our son at 2pm on the 13th but went through the voice-messaging system at 1:45pm and left me a message that he wasn't coming to get him. My son was dressed and standing at the door waiting for his father to come get him. I tried repeatedly as soon as my phone beeped to call Keith back to get an explanation but he wouldn't answer the phone and never returned my calls.
March 19th2002- Keith had agreed to pick-up the baby from Daycare but never showed up. When I confronted Keith he said that he never actually agreed to pick him up; and what he meant was that "if he called me back" that meant he'd get him ??? I advised Keith he wasn't picking him up from daycare again since he couldn't be trusted, and was either lying to cover his mistake or had an unreliable memory.
..etc, etc...My son's father is not an extremely responsible guy. I never heard back from family court after submitting the full visitation history and these excerpts, because he wasn't contacting them further -so that was it... So where does that leave me and my son now? No child support, no visitation enforcement; nothing... Meanwhile my sons father just bought a new house in an upscale subdivision, and a new boat and can afford to cruise around in a Jeep Grand Cherokee bragging about how on some days thanks to his contracts to sell to cruise ships on the docs in Saint John and now Halifax he makes up to $10,000 per day and has parties at his house celebrating his business by buying kegs for his friends. July & August of 2003 I actually attended a few of the parties he held at his house every weekend while we were on a brief hiatus from hating each other, and his drinking was at times extreme. He also has earned quite a reputation as a womanizer, bragging to even myself, that he has dated 18 year old girls, and several of the models I have hired to do fashion shows at a local nightclub I worked at have mentioned on different occasions that they would be embarrassed to be in my situation with someone like my sons father as he is "constantly trying to buy his way into everyone's pants with his boat". Is this normal behaviour for 32 year old men? My son's fathers chosen lifestyle is of little concern to me but my problem is that at this point his life of "partying" seems to be his main priority and this has affected his visitations with our son more than anything because he refuses to take him over the weekends. I actually had the unfortunate luck to run into this man this weekend. It was actually my son who noticed him and said "Look Mommy, there's Keith driving the Daddy's Jeep and he has another girl..Daddy always has girls." There's a statement to be proud of. I can't understand these women who can chase after a man (who is notorious in his small town as a "deadbeat") because of looks or money, or whatever. To me, if I knew some guy I was interested in had a kid and was that terrible of a person, My God, warning signs would be going off in my head to run the other way. I told this to Family Court and ...still nothing... It seems like no one can or will help me.What can I do?!
August 19th 2003- I had given Keith several days notice that I needed him to babysit while I was at a job interview this day. When I called to drop my son off he stated that his friends had called him that morning wanting to go boating and they were currently in Shediac in the middle of the water. He said if I still wanted him to babysit I could drive the baby out there he would meet me on the dock... I ended up having to make other arrangements
May 23rd 2002-Keith was scheduled to take our son for the night. Last minute he said he couldn't as he was going clubbing with his friends in Saint John. I told him to bring the baby to his Mom's for the night then because I had made plans around the fact he told me he could take him. Keith drove him to Saint John and left him at his Grandmothers house while Keith went out partying with his friends.
April 2002- No visitation- Keith was scheduled to pick up our son at 2pm on the 13th but went through the voice-messaging system at 1:45pm and left me a message that he wasn't coming to get him. My son was dressed and standing at the door waiting for his father to come get him. I tried repeatedly as soon as my phone beeped to call Keith back to get an explanation but he wouldn't answer the phone and never returned my calls.
March 19th2002- Keith had agreed to pick-up the baby from Daycare but never showed up. When I confronted Keith he said that he never actually agreed to pick him up; and what he meant was that "if he called me back" that meant he'd get him ??? I advised Keith he wasn't picking him up from daycare again since he couldn't be trusted, and was either lying to cover his mistake or had an unreliable memory.
..etc, etc...My son's father is not an extremely responsible guy. I never heard back from family court after submitting the full visitation history and these excerpts, because he wasn't contacting them further -so that was it... So where does that leave me and my son now? No child support, no visitation enforcement; nothing... Meanwhile my sons father just bought a new house in an upscale subdivision, and a new boat and can afford to cruise around in a Jeep Grand Cherokee bragging about how on some days thanks to his contracts to sell to cruise ships on the docs in Saint John and now Halifax he makes up to $10,000 per day and has parties at his house celebrating his business by buying kegs for his friends. July & August of 2003 I actually attended a few of the parties he held at his house every weekend while we were on a brief hiatus from hating each other, and his drinking was at times extreme. He also has earned quite a reputation as a womanizer, bragging to even myself, that he has dated 18 year old girls, and several of the models I have hired to do fashion shows at a local nightclub I worked at have mentioned on different occasions that they would be embarrassed to be in my situation with someone like my sons father as he is "constantly trying to buy his way into everyone's pants with his boat". Is this normal behaviour for 32 year old men? My son's fathers chosen lifestyle is of little concern to me but my problem is that at this point his life of "partying" seems to be his main priority and this has affected his visitations with our son more than anything because he refuses to take him over the weekends. I actually had the unfortunate luck to run into this man this weekend. It was actually my son who noticed him and said "Look Mommy, there's Keith driving the Daddy's Jeep and he has another girl..Daddy always has girls." There's a statement to be proud of. I can't understand these women who can chase after a man (who is notorious in his small town as a "deadbeat") because of looks or money, or whatever. To me, if I knew some guy I was interested in had a kid and was that terrible of a person, My God, warning signs would be going off in my head to run the other way. I told this to Family Court and ...still nothing... It seems like no one can or will help me.What can I do?!
