apr. 2007 husb. was asked to leave for a 1wk &come back. decided not 2 come back after begging,is that abadonment.i am going 2 mediation next week &i need help in what 2 say or do.I was receiving supposal supp until june 2007 ended &i have 2 child,CS $700, i am disabled& live on disability,he was the sole breadwinner & this will be our 2nd divorce 2. when he left has never paid for utilities etc. on the house my family bought,never paid a deductible(med.),prescription, or copayment. never has paid a car note. increase in support 2 help with rising cost of living(gas,food,shelter) he refueses 2 pay any monies on extraciricular activities, i want 2 have order placed for seasonal clothing purchases, shoes, school supplies. what about QUADRO-who has 2 file it?he is gonna be responsible for all the bills stacked up from medical, credit etc. debt 2, i believe i am entitled 2 spousal supp. for a longer time d/t me being disabled& taking care of the house, kids& him.HELP
Help Mediation, Divorce.cs-sposual supp
- Thread Starter bjgood35
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I don't really understand your situation. If you will answer some questions, it may help us to provide some advice.
Who asked him to leave for one week?
Why?
When were your divorces?
How long ago was he ordered to pay the child support and spousal support?
How old are your children?
Is he the legal father of both?
What kind of custody arrangement do you have? Sole legal and physical, joint, shared, combination? How much visitation?
Does your order require him to pay any part of the medical?
Does your order require him to pay the car note?
Does your order require him to pay the utilities?
Does your order require him to pay part of extracurriculars?
What is your disability?
Why can't you work?
Do you have an attorney?
What state issued your divorce/child support orders?
The advice you receive will depend on the answers to the above questions. However, generally:
When the husband is asked to leave the marital residence, then he hasn't abandoned anyone.
Child support is supposed to supplement your income to help pay for the mortgage, utilities, food, clothing, car.
If it doesn't state in your divorce decree that he is obligated to pay for utilities, medical, car note, and extracurriculars, then he has not been obligated to pay those. If it does, then you should have filed for contempt of the court order before now.
When a spouse is awarded temporary spousal support, it may be assumed that the support is considered "rehabilitative." That is, the judge awarded support to help you until you could find a job and support yourself.
I doubt that he will be required to pay your debt and credit card bills; however, since I don't really understand your situation, I may be wrong.
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Who asked him to leave for one week? my dad
Why? ongoing suspense of affair, last drawl was found fake fingernail underneath business uniforms that's when i went to my parents freaked out and my dad asked him to let me cool down a few days and then come back. he refused to come back at all costs. no counseling, begging etc.
When were your divorces? 2003, and now in separation, mediation the 20th
How long ago was he ordered to pay the child support and spousal support?started in may. child support ongoing only spousal supp. stopped as this was a request by him in temp. orders to stop in june 2008.
How old are your children?11,9
Is he the legal father of both?ys
What kind of custody arrangement do you have? Sole legal and physical, joint, shared, combination? How much visitation?joint, q thurs. and q other weekend. i told him he could have them more but, he never acted upon it, fathers day, birthday, major holidays and 1 month in summer.
Does your order require him to pay any part of the medical?70% of children. 0% me. temp ordres requires him to keep me on the ins. until final divorce decree
Does your order require him to pay the car note?no
Does your order require him to pay the utilities?no
Does your order require him to pay part of extracurriculars?if he agrees and he refuses to agree to help pay for them
What is your disability?seizures, peripheral neuropathy, b-12 depletion, vit c def., hypogammaglobulinemia, iron def. anemia, pernicious anemia, etc... goes on and on
Why can't you work?memory loss, weakness, seizures etc....
Do you have an attorney?yes
What state issued your divorce/child support orders?tx
Why? ongoing suspense of affair, last drawl was found fake fingernail underneath business uniforms that's when i went to my parents freaked out and my dad asked him to let me cool down a few days and then come back. he refused to come back at all costs. no counseling, begging etc.
When were your divorces? 2003, and now in separation, mediation the 20th
How long ago was he ordered to pay the child support and spousal support?started in may. child support ongoing only spousal supp. stopped as this was a request by him in temp. orders to stop in june 2008.
How old are your children?11,9
Is he the legal father of both?ys
What kind of custody arrangement do you have? Sole legal and physical, joint, shared, combination? How much visitation?joint, q thurs. and q other weekend. i told him he could have them more but, he never acted upon it, fathers day, birthday, major holidays and 1 month in summer.
Does your order require him to pay any part of the medical?70% of children. 0% me. temp ordres requires him to keep me on the ins. until final divorce decree
Does your order require him to pay the car note?no
Does your order require him to pay the utilities?no
Does your order require him to pay part of extracurriculars?if he agrees and he refuses to agree to help pay for them
What is your disability?seizures, peripheral neuropathy, b-12 depletion, vit c def., hypogammaglobulinemia, iron def. anemia, pernicious anemia, etc... goes on and on
Why can't you work?memory loss, weakness, seizures etc....
Do you have an attorney?yes
What state issued your divorce/child support orders?tx
Thanks for the clarification. 
I don't think it will be considered abandonment since he was asked to leave. I also don't think he will be required to pay retroactively for any bills. He also probably will not be forced to agree to extracurriculars. Of course, you can ask for all of that. Your lawyer should have some idea of whether or not you can get any of it.
Make sure to take your children's medical bills to the hearing. He should have reimbursed you for those, and it won't look good for him that he didn't.
Also take any evidence you have of your medical condition. If your doctors have advised you not to work, ask them for that in writing. Take your disability income information. Those things may help your case for continued spousal support. It certainly sounds like you meet the qualifications for continued spousal maintenance according to the Texas guidelines, but you will have to prove it. (You must have been married 10 or more years. I hope you were.) Also, if you can prove that he had an affair, that may help. The fingernail won't be enough evidence.
Child support and maintenance are based on his income, so the amounts will be limited to what he earns.
I don't know about asking for a seasonal clothing allowance. I really think that's supposed to come out of the child support. You should ask your lawyer about that.
Your lawyer should also file the QDRO just to be sure it's done, since it's for your financial protection.
I hope you will ask your lawyer about all these concerns. He/she obviously has more qualifications to address them. However, I hope I've helped a bit. I'm also sorry that you have to suffer through your medical problems, and hope they can be resolved.
Good luck
I don't think it will be considered abandonment since he was asked to leave. I also don't think he will be required to pay retroactively for any bills. He also probably will not be forced to agree to extracurriculars. Of course, you can ask for all of that. Your lawyer should have some idea of whether or not you can get any of it.
Make sure to take your children's medical bills to the hearing. He should have reimbursed you for those, and it won't look good for him that he didn't.
Also take any evidence you have of your medical condition. If your doctors have advised you not to work, ask them for that in writing. Take your disability income information. Those things may help your case for continued spousal support. It certainly sounds like you meet the qualifications for continued spousal maintenance according to the Texas guidelines, but you will have to prove it. (You must have been married 10 or more years. I hope you were.) Also, if you can prove that he had an affair, that may help. The fingernail won't be enough evidence.
Child support and maintenance are based on his income, so the amounts will be limited to what he earns.
I don't know about asking for a seasonal clothing allowance. I really think that's supposed to come out of the child support. You should ask your lawyer about that.
Your lawyer should also file the QDRO just to be sure it's done, since it's for your financial protection.
I hope you will ask your lawyer about all these concerns. He/she obviously has more qualifications to address them. However, I hope I've helped a bit. I'm also sorry that you have to suffer through your medical problems, and hope they can be resolved.
Good luck
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