Help me get rid of him

[dbeato]

I have been in a bad relationship for awhile now and things just seem to get worst. I got arrested for domestic violence which was a really bad thing since I did not hit him and it was my first offense I got off it but he won't leave my house he is not on the lease he left when i got arrested due to the restraining order they had on me and then when it was all over he asked to see his daughter I said yes and when he came over he asked if he could stay I told him no which caused a huge fight and he decided to stay as a way to upset me. he has not left and everyday we fight and argue infront of the children and all they do is stare at us and cry. My youngest hates being with him and everytime I cry she askes me if it is because of her dad and she is only two. what can I do in order to get him out what are my bounderies. I have called the cops so many times I feel as if they are going to either take my children away or arrest both of us. I have tried to get a restraining order but they say I have to have proof of him threating me. Please help I am desperate.

 

[seniorjudge]

Move.

And don't tell him where you are going.

 

[dbeato]

Even though me and him as a couple are not working out, I know how important a father is to a daughter and I would hate to be the one to split that up. Everyone has told me to do the same thing but how as a mother can I do that to my daughter. Do you know if there is any programs out there that will help me with court costs and that way I can move not tell him where I am going and set up visitations with the court where he could pick her up and everyone will be happy. I just honestly can't afford processing the papers it is so expensive.

 

[Duranie]

You had kids with him, there is no way you can get him out of your life.

First of all, you need to get out of this relationship. I would not move out of state or just disappear, since there are kids involved he is entitled to a relationship with them. You can probably take the kids with you but you need to file for official custody otherwise the dad can go to court and file for emergency custody and claim you are hiding the kids.

Was paternity ever legally established? I am not sure what state you are in but if he signed the acknowledgement of paternity, in most states he has rights.

You are not going to be able to move and not tell him where. However, if he ever threatens you, you should file a restraining order.

If you think he is a threat to the kids, you can file for supervised visits but you are going to need some conclusive proof he is dangerous, and if you have been arrested for DV instead of him, that might be hard and he can technically ask for an RO on you as well.

Do you work? If not, you need to get a job ASAP as you are going to have to find a way to support the kids.

Do you have anyone that you can stay with for right now?

You can call legal aid to see if you qualify. Or you can go down to the courts and se if there is a family law fascilitator or a self help/ law library where you can file for custody and a parenting plan.

You can also call child support enforecment and start child support.

Many family law attorney's will give you a brief phone consultation for free, you can call around to see if any can help you.

Worse comes to worse and you decide you need an attorney, I would ask family members for help with legal fees.

Google your states child support enforcement website to see what you can do to start the paperwork for child support.

Also, your daughter is way too young to be saying things like she does not want to see her father. Children need fathers in theur lives and unless you can prove he is abusive to the kids or a threat, he likely will get visitation.

Good luck

 

[dbeato]

how i said before I know how important a father is in a childs life so I do not want him not to be a part of the kids life. we just do not get along and I feel as if all the fighting and arguing is affecting them that is why I rather for me not to see him. He still wants to be with me I do not want to be with him he is a wonderful father I will never take that away from him I do want to go to court and get official custody of the kids but I feel as if my history with the cops might take into affect. I am not a person that gets in trouble with the law but I know that 1 incident could be a major affect. But I do appreciate your opinion and I will take what you said in consideration. Thanks