Harassment by an “Indian Giver”

[Kelly20815]

In December my niece went out with an acquaintance/guy friend a few times for dinner. He is about 24 years older than she is (she's 28) and she only liked him as a friend. She met him in the condo building she used to live in a few years ago and they have casually stayed in touch (mostly because of his sister who is much younger and my niece likes her a lot). Anyway, he is a wealthy man and generous man (or so he'd like you to believe), and one of the times they were out they went into a watch store to look at watches. She thought he was holiday shopping for his family (as she was on the other side of the store looking at something else), and he called her over to look at some women's watches. He had a few picked out and asked her which one she liked the best. She told him which one, thinking it was for his sister/someone else, and he was simply asking her advice. When she realized he was buying it for her she told him she didn't want the watch, but he insisted, saying he wanted to buy her something special as a combination birthday/Christmas present and wasn't going to leave the store until she picked out a watch. She told him repeatedly she was uncomfortable with accepting such an expensive gift (it was $1,800), but he kept saying it was no big deal. Although they regularly talked through the holidays, she had no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with him and felt like he was trying to make more of the relationship. She wanted to keep it the way it had been for the previous eight years - casual friends. After buying the watch he began calling her several times a day and became controlling. When she tried to distance herself he became upset and since 2/9 has been sending her emails and faxes nearly every day that simply say "tic toc," "do you have the time," "be a good person that you claim you are and return it – no one deserves an $1,800 watch after three dates," etc. She didn't consider them dates, but obviously he did. And after the gift of the watch, which was a totally unsolicited gift, everything changed. She is becoming a little scared with the harassment and doesn't feel like it's worth the watch. I don't blame her, but wanted to get a little advice before she returns it to make sure she does it in a way that protects her from future harassment. Here are my questions:
1. If it was a gift, does she legally have to return it? (it was definitely a gift, so my guess is no)
2. At what point are his emails/faxes considered harassment (she's received 16 since 2/9)?
3. She was going to personally return the watch, but I thought she should send it to him insured, certified, returned receipt mail – where he as the addressee must sign for it. If she gives it to him he could always say he never got it. Also, I thought she should include a letter (I'm helping her write it) with the watch to state that she was returning the gift because of his repeated requests/harassment. What I need help with is some sort of legal verbiage about how his receipt of the returned gift/watch will terminate their friendship/relationship/satisfy his demands (whatever!), and any future correspondence from him (via verbal, fax or email) will be considered harassment.
4. Is there anything else I should include? Perhaps about what she will do if the harassment continues (restraining order?)?

I appreciate any help.

Kelly

P.S. Dictionary.com "Indian Giver" = One who gives something to another and then takes or demands the gift back. This is totally him!

 

[NYClex]

Legally it was a gift so she could keep it. Practically, I would return it as soon as I can, exactly in the manner that you suggested: by certified mail, return receipt requested.

When repeated phone calls and faxes become harassment depends on your local laws. In the state of New York for example, theoretically already one single phone call can be harassment, if "it is done with the intent to harass, annoy, threaten or alarm" and in a manner that is "likely to cause annoyance or alarm." It is an A misdemeanor, so it can have serious consequences.

Of course there always is also a civil liability for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

She probably should include a short sentence stating that she does not want to be contacted by any means, for any reason, and that she will pursue legal action if he violates that.

These things have a tendency to become dangerous, so she should be extremely cautious once she has sent off the package. She might want to change some routines of which he can be presumed to know of. If there is any suspicious activity she should not hesitate to call the police.

She also might want to keep a caller ID record in the future if she needs to file complaints.

 

[Kelly20815]

Thanks so much. She lives in Palm Beach and was with me in MD over New Years. He was calling her like crazy. I told her then I thought he had the "wrong idea" about their relationship and was acting a little weird. She's gorgeous and he's mad that she doesn't want to date him - that's the bottom line. Anyway, she's kept everything, including the faxes, and has documented the dates/times that he's called on the phone. Hopefully he'll disappear after receiving the watch back, but I'm just afraid that he'll get it and say there's a scratch on it (I told her to take pictures of it before returning it – with the date stamped on the pictures), or the store won't take it back, or something and then tell her she owes him $1,800 for it. I guess I'll help her deal with that if he should be so unreasonable! Thanks again! Kelly