Grounds for change in custody of child

[IOUGOD2]

My 12 year old grandson lives with his bipolar mother. I have watched him suffer mental abuse and see the damage it's doing to him. (he still sucks his thumb, can't eat without getting sick, now most recently, panic attacks)
His father doesn't have the money to fight her in court and every time he tries to address any of the issues with her, she becomes more abusive to my grandson and takes it out on him.
My question is this.... How can he go about getting a custody change based on these facts alone, or can my grandson at the age of 12 request to live with his father? It's all he talks about and begs his daddy to take him from her and says he can't take it anymore. It is so sad! Can someone help us please?
She is a good mother in some ways and I feel so sorry for her condition, but I can't stand by and watch what it's doing to my grandson. His father is so sick over all of it, and because he endured so many years of it himself, knows first hand the effects of her mood swings, verbal and physical abuse, and just how hard it is to fight the damage done from it.

Thanks you in advance, for any advise you may be able to give me

 

[Destiny19692006]

I am not sure if this will help, but I hope I am able to post this here, I was searching for legal help, I have used all my savings and am broke now because my niece went against me in court and she had a free attorney, so, as I searched I came across this website...
ooops, it will not let me post the site, so please try the search for probono If I could list the site I would.
Bless You and Good Luck.

 

[ohiogranny]

Can you or other family help dad find the funds for an attorney?

If he takes it to court, he will need proof of abuse. Is he able to take the boy to a doctor to be checked out/hear his complaints? If not, have the boy talk to his school's guidance counsellor. He/she is mandated to report abuse. So are doctors. And teachers.

Too bad Dad didn't ask for a psychological evaluation earlier. Were they married/divorced? Are there custody papers? The longer he lets it go, the worse it looks for him for leaving the boy in that environment. He knew how mom was when he left.

The boy needs counselling to help him deal with mom, and possibly to get dad documentation of the situation so he can file for custody.

And, no, boy can't choose who he lives with, but in some places a judge will take his opinion into consideration. His best bet would be a guardian ad litem, who would speak for him in court. Unfortunately it costs money, but is well worth it.

 

[Duranie]

Dad does not need an attorney to file for custody, but he should call around and google some fathers rights groups. He should borrow money for an attorney if he feels he needs one. If he can prove abuse or neglect he can call social services but the child is going to have to cooperate and talk to people if he wants out of the house.
How often does he see the child now? Is he in the same state as mom? Most family law attorneys will give him a free or low cost consultation.

 

[IOUGOD2]

They were married for 10 years. There are custody and visitation rights. She has primary, but my son has hinm every other weekend, every wednesday and has first right of refusal when she needs a sitter for him. He does get to spend time with his dad, and counts the hours and minutes until he gets back to him.
My son has tried to talk to her and make her understand what harm she is doing, but it just ends in a horrible fight and then she takes it out on the boy.
Thanks so much for your advise

 

[IOUGOD2]

Thanks so much!
I've asked the child to speak with someone at school, but says he is to embarrased to let anyone know about his problem at home. He is actually afraid she will find out he told someone and knows what will happen.
I've not reported it myself that same reason.
Thanks again and God bless you all