Grandparent threatening visitation right

[sweetpea51306]

My husband and I have three beautiful girls ages 5,4 and 15 months. My husbands mother has spent time with the children since my oldest was born. She would offer to come play with the girls and watch them if my husband and I wanted to go out. It always seemed that every month my mother in law would have a temper tantrum of some sort saying that my hubby and I never apprecitaed her and throwing in our face how shes always watched the kids so we could have time alone. I had made it very clear how we appreciated the help she offered. It was nice for me having a break since I am a stay at home mom. During her fits of anger she would call me every name under the moon, try and break up my marriage with her son and would text message me horrible things. 2 months ago I finally had enough after she threatened to take my children away and intervene with another court matter that I was dealing with. I was tired of trying to make it work so I cut off all ties with her, she did the same and had her number changed. Just recently her ex boyfriend won a large sum of money from a lawsuit and told my husband and I that she was going to take us to court for visitation rights because her ex boyfriend was going to borrow her the money. I ofcourse cannot afford an attoney not working, my hubby thinks that we should just let her see them with no string attached supervised. I am so hurt from all the problems that started arising 5 years ago. I do not want to deal with this the rest of my life either. I will not stand and let her bully me into seeing my children. She is good with them but mentally I feel she is very unstable. She had her children (my husband and his brother) taken away when they were younger because the court found she couldn't take care of them properly. I am at a loss for words and am drained from this woman. What can I do, what are my rights and how can I keep my children from being in this situation. Any and all advice would be great

 

[Rushia]

First, there is much you can do until you actually receive the petition. I am more familiar with NY/PA law concerning GPV. I'm finding conflicting information. I'm finding some that say as an intact family that you cannot be sued and some saying that you can. Look for information wrt Wisconsin grandparent visitation statues. Consult with an attorney or two (look for ones that offer free consultations). Read the case of Troxel vs. Granville.

Second, for when she does sue. Do NOT under any circumstances agree to anything. The very second that you agree to anything you will not be able to even attempt an appeal. Let the judge rule on the merits of your case. You are going to have to find a way to have an attorney when she sues.

 

[dexify]

I second Rushia's recommendation that you try to find an attorney you can afford. If there is a law school nearby, it may have clinical programs where law students represent people for free or at reduced cost under an attorney's supervision. Your county bar association may also have a pro bono matching program, finding attorneys willing to handle a case for free or for a reduced fee.

I disagree somewhat about whether you need to wait for the grandparent to sue before taking action (if that is what Rushia meant). Any visitation petition may come with a request for temporary visitation while the litigation proceeds -- which could take months. Having an attorney on board would help you resist such a request. (There is a constitutional argument you or your attorney could make against a temporary visitation order, as follows: Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57 (2000), recognized in numerous Wisconsin court decisions, requires the trial court -- as a matter of binding constitutional law -- to start out by presuming that the decisions you make about grandparent visitation are in the child's best interest (right for your child). A grandparent must overcome that presumption in order to get court-ordered visitation. A constitutionally required presumption as to the facts cannot be overcome without a full evidentiary hearing. A temporary visitation order issued before such a hearing is therefore unconstitutional.... I have no data on how often this argument succeeds.)

Also: you and your husband need to find a meeting of the minds. If there is litigation, and if he is called to testify and says he has no objection to this visitation, the court will very likely order it. (I am not saying that the grandmother could in fact sue -- I do not know whether Wisconsin allows such a suit where the parents are married and have been married since before the birth of the children.)

 

[Rushia]

Unless Wisconsin is different from other states that temporary will come with the original petition or be brought up in her first hearing. A simplified version of what you're saying is "violation of my rights to due process". I repeatedly stated that at my first hearing because my lawyer wasn't with me yet. I stood my ground and even had the hearing examiner leaning over his bench and screaming at me. He threatened to bring the judge in and "show me what due process meant". I called his bluff and told him to go ahead. He deflated very quickly. My case lasted from 10/04 to 6/08. I managed to fight off a temporary until 3/07 when my attorney went without me as I was on bedrest with a pregnancy. The judge told my attorney that he'd rule on that later and sent it thru the mail. I refused to follow it. I did get held in contempt on 6/07. I could have appealed it and won but due to finances from the case still going I couldn't afford it.