giving up parental rights

[ca200634]

i am a mother with full custody of my daughter whom i love with all my heart. after much soul searching and thought i feel giving up custody and/or my rights may be inevitable.i cannot take care of her financially and her father and step mom can. i have done my best for 8 years. i have no life other than my child and live each day for her.we have lived with my parents since my husband left when she was 7 months old due to finances. i cannot afford to move out and support my daughter but cannot stay with my parents due to emotional strain on their part.i have explored my options but am really battling with whether or not i am best suited to care for her financially. i could work 3 jobs and never be able to send her to college or provide for her the way a two parent home could. i would do anything for her,but my emotional strain caused by my parents and worry over finances has put me in a hopeless state. i would appreciate any advice or encouragement any of you can give especially if you can relate. my mind is not made up but i just don't know what to do any more.

 

[Duranie]

If you honestly feel the child is better off with the father, then turn over custody. Why in the world would you want to give up your parental rights? You do not have to pay for college to be a good parent. All you can do is do the best you can. Why don't you see about turning custody over to the father, at least temporarily, while you get a job to support yourself. You need to make sure though that there is some court ordered visitation on file if you do this, otherwise the father and the step-mother do not have to allow visits.

Have you brought this up with the father?

After 8 years, why can't you support the child? Do you get child support?

You should look into moving in with maybe another single mother, or a friend to help get you out of your parents house.
Good luck

 

[carney]

Yes, but if you turn over custody to the father then the court will make you pay child support whether you have a job or not. If you can't support yourself now, you certainly wont be able to support yourself and pay child support for the child.
Have you tried getting food stamps and other help? There's no shame in getting help to help you take care of a child. Like said above, being a good parent doesn't mean sending your child to college. My husband works and makes more than most in this area we live in and we will not be able to send our children to college. A lot of kids get student loans to go through college, so you wont be the first to not be able to afford it. Your daughter would be devastated for the rest of her life if you left and never saw her again and that's what it means to give up parental rights. After going through that she may not even make it to college.
Look into food stamps and other help in your area like public housing. I was on food stamps for 2 years after my 1st husband and I divorced and it does help.
Are you getting child support from the father?