giving physical custody to father

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mamafresh

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I have been divorced for 6 years and have physical custody of our children, now ages 13 and 15. Their father and new family live about a mile down the road. I have encountered physical limitations which prevent me from keeping up with the house i bought 5 years ago and due to the weak market I am unable to sell at the moment. I have also slipped into a financial struggle as well from medical/dental expenditures . Instead of losing all my equity, I contacted my X and advised that I needed to rent my house and that i needed to move and the kids want to live with him so as to stay with their high school and friends and area they grew up in. As this is a difficult situation for everyone, i have exhausted all other resources to make this work. I first told this to him early fall 2009 and last week advised him that i could hang on til the summer and the kids finished school. He called me to state that he and his wife discussed the matter and they have decided that they are not going to take our kids because they don't have the room and they don't want to sell and buy. I was a bit stunned based on my inability to provide a stable home both financially and physically and this would be in the best interests of the kids. Our son also has a slight learning disability and has been through this school system since 3 years old, he will enter high school in September. My questions are can their father really just say, "we don't feel like it?" This is killing me as it is and i so want the children to be able to keep somewhat of a normal routine as possible. I appreciate the fact that my X moved on, remarried, and is raising 2 step daughters ages 16 and 23 still at home with them, but i still don't see how our children cannot be accommodated. I would appreciate any and all advise. Thank you for your time.
 
Well, you can't force him to take the kids if he doesn't want to.

It looks like they're going to be moving with you, when you move.

I'm sorry Dad isn't willing to help out :( - that's very sad.
 
You're welcome - there *are* attorneys who regularly contribute, so please check back if you wish.

However, I know of absolutely no law, in any state, which would force a parent to take custody of their children.

If you explained to Dad that if he can't take them, you may have no option to place them in foster care temporarily, would he change his mind perhaps? I'd hate to recommend such an ultimatum, but it might do the trick.

(provided you could trust him not to actually take it out on the kids afterwards)
 
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