Family Disputes Over Hospitalized Parents Assets

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haftaknow

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:confused:I LIVE WITH MY ELDERY PARENT IN NEW YORK AND I AM DISABLED. FOR THE LAST 3 MONTHS MY SISTER THAT HAS EMOTIONAL AND ANGER PROBLEMS HAS COME TO MY MOTHERS HOUSE AND ARGUES WITH HER OVER EVERY LITTLE THING UPSETTING HER. THIS HAS TAKEN ITS TOLL ON HER. I STAY AWAY WHEN SHES COMES AS SHE TRIES TO PROVOKE ME VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY. 3 WEEKS AGO MY MOTHER WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL BY HER WITH A SEVERE INTERNAL HEAD TRAUMA. SPENT 10 DAYS IN ICU NOW RECOVERING IN HOSPITAL. MY BROTHER HAS NO CONTACT FOR 15 YEARS. MY SISTER 48 YR OLD LIVES IN OTHER HOUSE OWNED BY MOM. MOM PAYS ALL HER BILLS. MOM IS AFRAID OF HER. BROTHER AND SISTER TEAM UP ,FILE APPLICATION W/NYS SUPREME COURT TO GAIN CUSTODY. NOBODY SERVED YET. JUDGE ISSUES TEMPORARY CUSTODY TO THEM ORDERS ME RESTRAINED FROM PREMISES. I NEVER ABUSED MOM BUT RATHER DID EVERYTHING FOR HER ABOVE AND BEYOND. EVEN PAY ROOM AND BOARD. MOM IS MESSY HOUSE KEEPER IN OLD AGE. THEY SAY I ABUSE BECAUSE OF THIS. I LET MOM BE COMFORTABLE IN HER OWN HOME. POWER TO THEM IS TO CHANGE LOCKS, CLEAN OUT PREMISES FOR RETURN OF MOM AFTER DISCHARGE. I AM NOW DISABLED HOMELESS. THEY COMPLETELY DISPOSED OF EVERY POSESSION IN SIDE AND OUTSIDE HER HOME, HERS AND MINE. SHE IS STILL RECOVERING IN HOSPITAL. THEY SAY SHE CANNOT MAKE DECISIONS. I BELIEVE THE COURT DOES NOT KNOW I LIVE THERE.
I NEED TO KNOW MY RIGHTS AS A RESIDENT AND HOW TO HELP MOM AS I SPOKE TO HER AND SHE IS DEVISTATED BY THIS. THIS IS ALL ABOUT MONEY ...2 HOUSES AND MONEY FOR A THIRD. MY FAULT I WORRIED ABOUT MOM NOT ME PLEASE HELP!:confused:
 
It is quite likely that your brother and sister argued that the "messiness" in your mothers home represented far more than a simple mess and instead proved a health threat to your mother, resulting in her falling and ending up with a head trauma.

She has been (at least temporarily) declared incompetent and unable to make her own medical decisions. It is unclear from your posting whether your siblings have been granted financial guardianship over your mother or whether their guardianship involves only medical decisions.

Since the judge also granted a restraining order against you, the court is aware that you lived there and agreed with your siblings contention that you were part of the problem.

How long is this temporary custody order good for?

Gail
 
GAIL THANKYOU! HERES MORE DETAIL. SINCE ITS MY MOTHERS HOUSE, I HAD THE PROBLEM OF WALKING A FINE LINE WITH HER. IF I SUGGEST TO DISPOSE OF ITEMS SHE RESPONDS ITS HER HOUSE AND BELONGINGS. THEN IN TALKING TO MY SISTER MOM WOULD SAY THAT I THINK I OWN THE PLACE. SISTER WOULD AGREE WITH HER AND ADD TO INFLAME THE SITUATION THAT I WANT TO TAKE OVER. THIS HAPPENS OVER MANY YEARS. MOM SPITEFUL WANTS TO KEEP IT MORE. I CONSIDERED GETTING INTERVENTION BUT THIS WOULD FURTHER SISTERS CAUSE AND DIVIDE ME AND MOM. BESIDES I BELIEVE A PERSON SHOULD BE ABLE TO OWN WHAT THEY WANT...THIS IS AMERICA. YOU ARE CORRECT ON THE ARGUEMENT THEY PRESENTED EXCEPT AS A FIRE HAZARD. NEVER AN INSPECTION OR INTERVENTION ON ANY PART. COURT ORDER CROSSES OUT THE PART ON APPOINTING A cOURT EVALUATOR TO INVESTIGATE THE CLAIMS MADE IN THE APPLICATION. ORDER MAKES NO MENTION OF "INCOMPETENT" BUT GRANTS TEMPORARY CO-GUARDIANS FOR SOLE PURPOSE OF MAKING HEALTH CARE DECISIONS AND RESIDENTIAL DECISIONS ON HER BEHALF, AND TO RESTRAIN ME FROM PREMISES, PENDING FURTHER ORDER OF THE COURT, FOR THEM TO ENTER UPON, CHANGE THE LOCKS, AND CLEAN OUT THE PREMISES SO AS TO ALLOW MOM TO RETURN TO THE PREMISES AFTER DISCHARGE. THE HEARING IS SCHEDULED FOR OCT 30, O8 WHERE THEY ARE ASKING SOMEONE BE APPOINTED TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR HER AS TO PERSONAL NEEDS OR FINANCIAL AFFAIRS. GUARDIAN WHEN APPOINTED WILL HAVE AUTHORITY OVER FINANCIAL, PERSONAL NEEDS PROPERTY POWERS AND ALL OTHER ASPECTS OF HER LIFE . TRAVEL, COLLECTING INCOME , MARSHALLING ASSETS ETC. IMPORTANT NOTE: BROTHER HAS STATED IN THE PAST HE DOSENT WANT TO BE ENVOLVED. HE PLANS TO MOVE SOON TO AN AREA NEAR YOU! ALSO HAS STATED HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE "STUCK" WITH SISTER AS SHE HAS OBVIOUS PSYCOLOGICAL PROBLEMS. HE WANTS TO INSURE THIS BY KNOWING SHE WILL HAVE ACCESS TO MONEY WHEN MOM IS GONE.
QUESTIONS: WHY SINCE THE COURT MAY KNOW I LIVE THERE WOULD THEY NOT ORDER ME TO CLEAN THE HOUSE? WHY THEM? I STARTED DOING IT ANYWAY AND DISCOVERED ALL HER RECENT FINANCIAL PAPERS MISSING AND FOUND BANK BOOK INDICATING RECENT WITHDRAWALS WITHIN DAYS OF EACH OTHER. MOM WENT TO THE BANK WITH SISTER NOT ME AND CASH IS MISSING. I PHOTOGRAPHED YESTERDAY DRINKING AND INTOXIFICATION DRINKS IN HAND WHILE THEY CLEANED THE FIRST FLOOR BARE INCLUDING THE RUGS. I WAS WITH 2 WITNESSES. THE PEOPLE THE COURT GAVE THIS POWER. COURT WANTS THIS DONE FOR HER RETURN. RETURN TO WHAT?
MOM AND MYSELF HAVE NOT BEEN SERVED AS PER THE ORDER, EVEN THOUGH OUR ENTIRE LIVES ARE WIPED OUT INCLUDING CLOTHES, CASH, PERSONAL PAPERS ETC.
MY 2 CATS ARE MISSING
MY AUTOMOBILE IS HELD ON PROPERTY THAT I HAVE FOR MEDICAL PURPOSES AS PER SSI
ONE OF MY WITNESSES WAS GRANTED PERMISSION BY THEM TO ENTER TO RETRIEVE MY MEDICAL SUPPLIES ONLY TO BE HELD HOSTSGE INSIDE UNTIL POLICE THAT THEY CALLED ARRIVED. POLICE WERE TOLD MEDICAL SUPPLIES ARE ON BOTTOM OF DUMPSTER.
IS THAT ABUSE OF A DISABLED PERSON?
TECHNICALITY: THE ORDER HAS MISPELLED LAST NAMES THROUGHOUT IN CAPITAL LETTERS.
THE ORDER DOES NOT MENTION MY ADDRESS, OR THEIR ADDRESS AT ALL. ADDRESS SEARCH SHOWS MANY MATCHES THAT EXACTLY MATCH THE NAMES AS STATED.
WOULD THE PETITION BE CONSIDERED DEFECTIVE? FOR DISMISSAL? MAYBE THIS WOULD BUY TIME FOR MOM TO BE BETTER TO PRESENT HER WISHES.
IM PLANNING TO TRY TO TALK WITH THE JUDGE TOMORROW MORNING TO SEE IF HE UNDERSTANDS THE SITUATION MAYBE HE CAN PUT A STOP TO THIS. MAYBE SEAL THE PREMISES AND REMOVE THE PETS IF THEY SURVIVED.
I SO MUCH APPRECIATE WHAT YOU ARE DOING FOR ME, IT GIVES ME HOPE, THATS ALL THATS LEFT. DONT KNOW WHAT WILL BE WHEN THATS GONE.
 
Unfortunately, the court can't order someone to clean a house. They granted your brother and sister the power to do this because they are the ones who filed in court for permission to be awarded co-guardians to your mother in regards to her health care decisions and residential decisions. At least on a temporary basis.

The more "formal" hearing to get permanent guardianship of your mother will be that October 30th court date. It is likely the judge assigned that time frame under the assumption that your mothers medical issues would be taken care of by then and that she could best represent herself in court.

From your second posting, it is assumed that if the house is cleaned and health/fire hazards are removed that your mother may be able to return to this home after her discharge from the hospital. If not, she may require another setting that may be safer for her.


Gail
 
HI GAIL! THINGS GET INTERESTING... I SEE THIS POSTING HAS MANY VIEWERS...MY PROBLEM SEEMS LIKE THAT OF MANY OTHERS. SPOKE TO AN ATTORNEY THAT IS OF THE BEST,HE THINKS THIS CASE IS EXTREMELY INTERESTING AND WOULD LOVE TO BE A PART OF IT, UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME ITS UNAFFORDABLE AT THIS TIME. HE TELLS ME THAT BROTHER AND SISTERS ATTORNEY IS KNOWN FOR SLOPPY PAPER WORK. HERES WHAT HE SAID AND WHAT I CAN DO.

THE ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE (OSC) HAS PROBLEMS:
THE REQUIRED PETITION IS NOT ATTACHED.
THE INDEX NUMBER IS WRONG ON THE OSC AS WELL AS THE NAMES OF THE NAMED PARTIES .... THIS HAS FRUSTRATED THE CLERKS IN THE OFFICE OF THE SELF REPRESENTED IN FINDING THIS CASE. AFTER SENDING ME TO THE HOUSING COURT WHERE I OBTAINED HEARING DATE UPON FILING AN OSC TO AWARD POSSESSION TO THE PETITIONER (ILLEGAL LOCKOUT) THEY NOW HAVE LOCATED THE CASE IN THE NY SUPREME COURT. NOW BOTH CANNOT BE DONE AT THE SAME TIME. THE CLERKS AT THE SUPREME COURT NOW WONDER IF THIS WAS DONE BY THE ATTORNEY THAT FILED THE OSC ON PURPOSE. THEY ARE CURIOUS TO KNOW HOW I KNOW ABOUT THIS. I REMAIN SILENT.

MY OPTIONS:
I CAN FILE IMMEDIATELY TO GET BEFORE THE JUDGE MOST LIKELY RIGHT AFTER SERVING THE PAPERS... TO ALLOW ME BACK IN THE PREMISES. THE ATTORNEY I SPOKE TO SAID THEY DID NOT HAVE THE POWER TO "CLEAN OUT" THE PREMISES ACCORDING TO THE OSC . HOWEVER NOTHING WILL GET BACK THE POSESSIONS LOST.

I CAN WAIT FOR THE HEARING DATE ON OCTOBER 30 WHEN THE JUDGE WILL LISTEN TO ALL AND JUDGE THE CASE

MY RESEARCH FINDS IN THE NY CONSOLIDATED LAWS ss81.35 REMOVAL OF GUARDIAN
WHICH STATES in part : Upon motion, the court appointing a guardian may remove such guardian when the guardian fails to comply with an order, is guilty of misconduct, or for any other cause which to the court shall appear just.

MY QUESTIONS:
SHOULD I FILE NOW FOR REASON OF MISCONDUCT AND OTHER REASONS, AND TO RESTRAIN THEM FROM THE PREMISES?
WILL THIS AFFECT MY MOTHERS APPOINTED ATTORNEY IN REPRESENTING HER?
IF IT IS NOT SUCCESSFUL WILL IT HURT ME AT THE OCTOBER 30 HEARING?
MY INTENTION IS TO ASK FOR APPOINTMENT PURSUANT TO sECTION 81.21 OF THE MENTAL HYGIENE LAW( FOR PROPERTY POWERS )AS I CAN SHOW THAT I HAVE FOR A LONG TIME ASSISTED MY MOTHER WITH HER FINANCES WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS, IS THIS THE WAY TO GO?

A NURSE FRIEND OF MINE TELLS ME THIS:
WHEN MOM COMES HOME IF SHE COULD NOT PASS A SWALLOW TEST SHE WILL NEED TO USE A G TUBE WHICH SHE HAS NOW. A FAMILY MEMBER WILL NEED TO BE TRAINED TO DO IT. MY SISTER PROBABLY WILL FAIL. MY BROTHER LIVES OUT OF STATE. ONE OF US WILL NEED TO BE WITH HER CONSTANTLY OR A NURSE WILL NEED TO BE THERE. MEDICARE WILL NOT COVER THIS. IT MAY OR MAY NOT BE A PERMANENT PROBLEM OR MAY TAKE A LONG TIME TO CORRECT , IF ITS LONG TERM...THERE GOES HER ASSETS. IF SHE GOES TO A NURSING HOME...THERE GOES HER ASSETS.
IM STARTING TO WONDER WHATS THE POINT TO ALL THIS AGGRIVATION , BESIDES MANAGING THE MONEY WHICH IS A POWER THEY HAVE NOT BEEN GRANTED AS OF YET, BUT I COULD REQUEST

GETTING OLD IN AMERICA IS LIKE PLAYING A GAME OF CHESS... ITS ALL ABOUT THE STRATEGY...ONE WRONG MOVE AND YOU LOSE

GAIL... WHAT WOULD BE THE STRATEGY IN THIS GAME???
 
You can, if you wish, file now to get back into the residence you were living at.

Because you were paying rent to your mother, you can argue that your status was "tenant" (typically a month to month renter since I'm sure you and your mother did not have a formal lease) and as such you would have needed to be provided with at least a 30 day notice to vacate.

I'm a bit confused as to why the judge issued a restraining order against you when your mother was in the hospital unless it was because your siblings argued that you would have dangerously interfered with their attempts to clean the house out of items that they perceived were dangerous to your mother.

You can, if you wish in the future (when things have settled), consider suing your siblings for your personal items they have tossed out without giving you a chance to retrieve them. These lawsuits are typically done in Small Claims Court where one does not need an attorney to represent them. New York allows one to sue up to $5000 ($3,000 in town and village courts) in Small Claims.

A PEG (feeding tube) isn't that difficult to handle (we have many patients that feed themselves using this) but if your mother unable to do this herself, a family member is typically recruited to do the feeds. There really is no need to have home health nursing handle this (except, possibly if this is a new placement and the family members feel more comfortable having a nurse teach them how to do this at home) and a nurse will not come out the four to six times a day these tube feeds are provided.

Yes; getting old isn't fun. I do have to say we have many elderly patients (mainly men since I work in a VA Medical Center) who live alone (children are grown and gone, wife has passed away) who really cannot take care of themselves; can't shop, cook, clean up, clean themselves or even drive safely but who will fight like the dickens for the right to continue living on their own.

Gail
 
GAIL.... THANKYOU SO MUCH AGAIN! YOUR ADVICE IS PROVING TO BE RIGHT ON THE MONEY AND TOP NOTCH. I AM FILING TOMORROW FOR THEIR REMOVAL UNDER ss81.35
removal of guardian , ON THE GROUNDS OF BEING GUILTY OF MISCONDUCT AND FOR ANY OTHER CAUSE WHICH TO THE COURT SHALL APPEAR JUST. I AM CONFIDENT SO
FAR AT THIS POINT FOR JUSTICE. I AM PRESENTLY STUDYING THE ENTIRE ARTICLE 81
OF THE NY CONSOLIDATED LAW. THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT BROTHER AND SISTER
HAVE NO CLUE OF WHATS INVOLVED. NOT SURPRISING!! THEY ARE ABOUT BRAWN NOT
BRAINS. THEIR ATTORNEY PROBABLY SHOULD SEEK OTHER EMPLOYMENT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MAKE A MOCKRY OF THE COURT. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT TWO ATTORNEYS MEANT WHEN THEY SAID THIS CASE IS GOING TO GET INTERESTING!!

I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED...WILL ADD MORE DETAIL TOMORROW

WANT TO KEEP THIS DIALOG GOING...IT GIVES ME STRENGTH
THANKS SO MUCH
 
Gail...going To Court Tomorrow. The Emergency Judge Scheduled A Hearing Before The Original Judge That Gave Temporary Co-guardian Status To Brother And Sister. Since It Was Done Late Friday, And This Was A Holiday Weekend, The Earliest Possibility Was Tuesday @9:30 Am . Had To Serve Them And Only Was Given One Day,on Saturday. Got It Done But It Was Not Easy As I Am Not Allowed To Serve Them. Found Out Today (columbus Day) They Have Been Changing The Name On Her Bills Through The Customer Service Of The Respective Billing Entities. They Have Not Been Given Financial Power. Also Found Out That They Were Changing Her Billing Information Before She Became Hospitalized. We Will See How The Court Looks Upon This Situation Tomorrow. Also It Is Scheduled To Be In Housing Court (for Illegal Lockout), And Ny State Supreme Court At The Exact Same Time. Will Post Results Tomorrow.
 
Went To Court On Tuesday, The Day After Columbus Day. Waited 4 Hours To Be Tolod The Judge Was Contacting The Involved Parties Because Nobody Appeared Except Me. The Judge Now Puts It On The Calendar For 10/20 Because Its Now The Only Available Date.thats Only 10 Days Before The Regular Scheduled Hearing On 10/30, So Whats The Point Of My Filing To Get An Injunction To Stop This Circus. I Explained To The Court That This Gives Brother And Sister More Time To Do More Destruction And Remove Items Of Value From The Premises And Request That The Court Act Immediately To Prevent This. Court Says They Are Restrained From Entering But Cannot Enforce It. This Is A Good Example Of How The Supreme Court Gives Power On Someones Say So Then Cant Act When It Goes Terribly Wrong. Also The Supreme Court Is Going To Combine The Actions Filed In Housing Court With The Supreme Court Case. That Does Not Make Sense. I Just Dont Get It . I Start To Think The Supreme Court Is Trying To Cover Their Own Mistakes. I May Have To Write A Book When All Is Done. More To Come After Monday 10/20 .

Question? : Is This The Normal Way That A Supreme Court Acts?
 
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