My jurisdiction is: FL
Hello,
How are you going today? This is my first thread, and hopefully my last (in the law section anyway!).
The story is some-what complex, as I am sure most are from looking through some of the threads, but I will try and keep it condensed.
So to my story: I am the father and a beautiful 1 month old boy, but he is not *legally* my child. My Ex-Gf and I started dating 2 years ago. We had split up about a year in and I moved back to Michigan from Florida (my hometown). I was in Michigan for a couple months before she decided to come move up to MI with me. In the time I was up there, she had married a good friend of hers who is in the Military for financial reasons. After a few months of her living in Michigan things started falling apart again and we broke up and she moved back to FL.
To both of our surprise, she had moved to FL a pregnant woman with my Child. Once she had realized she was pregnant she called me to let me know and immediately I knew I needed to move down there (my father died when I was 2 so I've always known my kid would not grow up with out a dad). I was still in a lease for an apartment but I was able to buy the landlord out and get out of it a month later and I had moved down to FL to live with her. However, I let her know from the very start that the only reason I was moving to FL was to be with my child, not her.
So now I was living with her, and things were going good. We would frequently sleep in the same bed and had the same 'characteristics' of a relationship, but I would remind her every now and then that it was still not going to go any further than that. This sometimes lead me to be cold-hearted and sometimes just mean to her (to keep the distance there) which I know now really wore on her. However, I did attended every doctors visit, stayed with her every night through the pregnancy, was there for all 14 hours of labor, stayed the weekend in the hospital after birth, was there every night for the first month of his life, as well as pay for 70% of the bills. However, *all* medical expenses were paid for by the military.
And then things finally 'hit the fan' and she was fed up with the whole 'in-a-relationship-but-not-in-a-relationship' deal and decided to kick me out. So I moved to my brother's house about 5 minutes away from her and over the last few days things have got progressively worse.
She was deciding to stay in VA for a couple months with her sister to "Get away from me" and just generally have some time away. I did not like the idea, but I was 'OK' with it. However, now her mom may move to VA and the mother (of my child) has now told me she is going to stay in VA and may not come back. I know it is still early to be certain if all this is true, but I want to know my options before it is too late.
And now for the technicalities (nutshell version): She may be moving to VA and I am still in FL. I have a decent job where I am at and it would be hard to just unroot again and move to VA (especially with no one to live with now). On top of that, she said she may move to CO with her best friend. Her husband is legally the father of the child (although he is not on the birth certificate and my son has her last name). I have given her some money (with a check where I have the stub stating the reason for it was my son) and we have agreed on an amount for Child Support which I don't mind paying at all, but she has only let me see him once in the last week. She even is going to San Diego for a weekend and won't let me watch him for that time (she is letting her mom watch him).
So what can I do? I know my first course of action would be to arrange a DNA test and get legal proof that he is mine, but I am assuming that will cost a fair amount of money. I do have a decent job for my age (I am 19-21 (just for secrecy reasons) and she is 25-27), but not a lot to be getting lawyers and things like that. I did hear that if I involve the courts with the child support that they will pay for the DNA test I believe. Also, if she moves to VA before I can get all of this arranged, would it be too late to put up a fight about her moving? She is also legally married to someone in the military, so don't they have other rights about moving because sometimes they are forced to move?
If you have read this, and even more so decide to comment with some advice, I sincerely thank you for the time. Have a great day
JDNH2009
Hello,
How are you going today? This is my first thread, and hopefully my last (in the law section anyway!).
The story is some-what complex, as I am sure most are from looking through some of the threads, but I will try and keep it condensed.
So to my story: I am the father and a beautiful 1 month old boy, but he is not *legally* my child. My Ex-Gf and I started dating 2 years ago. We had split up about a year in and I moved back to Michigan from Florida (my hometown). I was in Michigan for a couple months before she decided to come move up to MI with me. In the time I was up there, she had married a good friend of hers who is in the Military for financial reasons. After a few months of her living in Michigan things started falling apart again and we broke up and she moved back to FL.
To both of our surprise, she had moved to FL a pregnant woman with my Child. Once she had realized she was pregnant she called me to let me know and immediately I knew I needed to move down there (my father died when I was 2 so I've always known my kid would not grow up with out a dad). I was still in a lease for an apartment but I was able to buy the landlord out and get out of it a month later and I had moved down to FL to live with her. However, I let her know from the very start that the only reason I was moving to FL was to be with my child, not her.
So now I was living with her, and things were going good. We would frequently sleep in the same bed and had the same 'characteristics' of a relationship, but I would remind her every now and then that it was still not going to go any further than that. This sometimes lead me to be cold-hearted and sometimes just mean to her (to keep the distance there) which I know now really wore on her. However, I did attended every doctors visit, stayed with her every night through the pregnancy, was there for all 14 hours of labor, stayed the weekend in the hospital after birth, was there every night for the first month of his life, as well as pay for 70% of the bills. However, *all* medical expenses were paid for by the military.
And then things finally 'hit the fan' and she was fed up with the whole 'in-a-relationship-but-not-in-a-relationship' deal and decided to kick me out. So I moved to my brother's house about 5 minutes away from her and over the last few days things have got progressively worse.
She was deciding to stay in VA for a couple months with her sister to "Get away from me" and just generally have some time away. I did not like the idea, but I was 'OK' with it. However, now her mom may move to VA and the mother (of my child) has now told me she is going to stay in VA and may not come back. I know it is still early to be certain if all this is true, but I want to know my options before it is too late.
And now for the technicalities (nutshell version): She may be moving to VA and I am still in FL. I have a decent job where I am at and it would be hard to just unroot again and move to VA (especially with no one to live with now). On top of that, she said she may move to CO with her best friend. Her husband is legally the father of the child (although he is not on the birth certificate and my son has her last name). I have given her some money (with a check where I have the stub stating the reason for it was my son) and we have agreed on an amount for Child Support which I don't mind paying at all, but she has only let me see him once in the last week. She even is going to San Diego for a weekend and won't let me watch him for that time (she is letting her mom watch him).
So what can I do? I know my first course of action would be to arrange a DNA test and get legal proof that he is mine, but I am assuming that will cost a fair amount of money. I do have a decent job for my age (I am 19-21 (just for secrecy reasons) and she is 25-27), but not a lot to be getting lawyers and things like that. I did hear that if I involve the courts with the child support that they will pay for the DNA test I believe. Also, if she moves to VA before I can get all of this arranged, would it be too late to put up a fight about her moving? She is also legally married to someone in the military, so don't they have other rights about moving because sometimes they are forced to move?
If you have read this, and even more so decide to comment with some advice, I sincerely thank you for the time. Have a great day
JDNH2009
