First off, I apologize for the length, but I want to make sure I don't leave out anything that might be important.
In late December 2009, my 5 year old daughter (then 4) and I entered into a domestic violence shelter in SW Florida. I'm also diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Directly before going to the shelter, I learned I was pregnant. After being in the shelter for approximately 2 weeks, I spoke to the father of my unborn child on the phone, and I was informed that he had no intention of having anything to do with the child. I was scared and upset. I went outside so that my daughter could play on the playground across the yard, and I could sit and think. A counselor had overheard the conversation, came outside, and asked if I'd like to talk. I said I did want to talk, and said that I was considering abortion. At this point in time, I was approximately 8.5 weeks along (though at the time, I wasn't sure exactly how far along, and estimated no more than 9-10 weeks). She told me that legally it was too late to abort, which I knew was untrue, and I asked if she knew of any local resources I could call to discuss it further. I also mentioned that I'd really wanted to keep the baby from the beginning, but feared it wouldn't be fair to my daughter, myself, or the baby given the circumstances. She brought up that I seemed depressed, and I said, of course I was in the current situation. I'd been asking for referrals for therapy since I arrived (mostly to cope with my social anxiety). As my social anxiety prevents me from being able to take public buses, the counselor suggested that I go to inpatient care at the local mental health facility for a couple days so that I could see if there were any medications I could take while pregnant (I was on Xanax prior to my pregnancy) and if they had any programs that could help me obtain therapy, and asked if I would be interested in that if someone at the shelter could watch my daughter while I was there. I said yes. She inquired if I was considering suicide several times during the conversation, and each time, I said no. Once I expressed interest in inpatient treatment, she brought myself and my daughter inside and asked another counselor to sit with my daughter while we went into her office to talk.
While in the counselor's office, I signed a form giving two residents at the shelter consent to watch my daughter for up to 72 hours, and another giving consent to another shelter to take her temporarily in the event I was gone longer than 72 hours. She then left the room to call the mental health facility, and returned saying that as a result of the influx of patients as it was the holiday season, the facility said that they would turn me away at the door if I checked in voluntarily, and that the only way I'd be seen was if I went in under a Baker Act (non-voluntary admittance to mental health facility for stabilization). The counselor said if I was willing to agree to that, she'd call the police to transport me, saying she'd have to tell them I was suicidal. As I was desperate for resources at that point and she seemed like she was trying to help me, I agreed.
Upon arriving at the facility, as I had not yet received prenatal care, and I wasn't completely sure of my due date, they transferred me to the hospital for medical clearance. I was kept overnight for observation, and then held for 8 days while waiting for a bed in the mental health facility. While in the hospital (January 2, 2010), I was informed that my daughter had been taken by DCF and placed in foster care. When I called the shelter and spoke to the counselor to find out what was going on, she said "You said you were going to kill your baby." I said that I needed to consider my options, abortion is perfectly legal, and I was upset, and I asked what on earth that had to do with my daughter being taken. She refused to answer, and quickly ended the conversation.
When I returned to the mental health facility, I was told that what the counselor had told me about a Baker Act being necessary to receive treatment was completely false. I left on my second day and went to a different branch of the shelter. When I spoke to DCF, I was informed that there were allegations that I had threatened to kill myself and my daughter. This was by the counselor, and she apparently had also coached my daughter to say the same thing. My daughter's statement was eventually thrown out, by the way, due to her age. My court appointed attorney said that whether I actually said it or not didn't really matter, and that my best bet was to just cooperate with DCF, which I've done.
The case plan with DCF stated that the reason for her removal was concerns about my mental health, and that once I was shown not to be a threat to myself or my daughter, she could be returned. On my case plan, I have two tasks. The first being to receive a mental health evaluation (which I did), and the second was to follow the recommendations of the evaluation (which I have done). Note, my doctor and therapist have stated on record at each visit that I am not a threat to myself or others, and I have copies of the medical records showing as such. DCF assigned a case manager through Lutheran Family Services (a sub-contractor of DCF) to handle the case at the case planning conference. I was also given one weekly three hour supervised visit by the judge.
During my daughter's stay in the foster home, the case manager has cancelled and shortened several of my visits due to her busy schedule and her personal life. One visit was cancelled 20 minutes beforehand because her daughter was sick, in example. During our first visit, my daughter was covered in a rash which I was informed was Scabies. While examining the rash, I found several small, round bruises. My daughter informed me they were from other children pinching her. The case manager said that my daughter had began lying, stealing, acting out violently, and breaking other children's toys (which is NOT like her) and that made the abuse acceptable.
My daughter has begun having accidents (urinating and defecating on herself), and has arrived to many of the visits wearing dirty panties, with feces dried on her buttocks and genitalia, and wearing urine soaked socks and shoes. This was mentioned to the case manager. 3 weeks ago, she complained during a visit that it burned when she urinated, I went over wiping habits to be sure she was wiping properly (which she was), and called the case manager (as at this point she'd begun having another woman supervise the visits) to inform her and request that my daughter receive medical attention for a possible urinary tract infection. When I called back the next week to inquire if she'd received medical attention, the case manager did not know. When I called her supervisor to find out, the case manager quickly called me back, berating me for calling her supervisor, stating that she had other clients to deal with too, but that she did check, and that no, my daughter had not received medical attention, nor would she be receiving medical attention as she had not complained to the foster mother. My daughter continued complaining of burning upon urination at subsequent visits and I reported it to to the case manager.
At my last two visits (one make up visit on Thursday as they owed us 11 hours at that point, and my regular visit on Friday), my daughter continued complaining of burning during urination, and complained that her vulva itched badly. She still has not received medical attention. She has also started pulling her own hair out.
Several weeks ago (when I found the bruises), I asked the case manager if my daughter was seeing a therapist, she said no, I asked why and wanted to know when she would be because her behavioral changes and lower self esteem concerned me, and she said she'd check into it. When I inquired again later, she said that my daughter had begun treatment. Friday, I received a call from a man who identified himself as my daughter's therapist. He was calling to set up her first appointment. He had never met with her before, and was not aware that she was still in foster care. I have been unable to reach the case manager or anyone in her organization to find out why I had been told my daughter was in therapy, or why she currently isn't.
During our last court date (two weeks ago), my lawyer said that I had finished my case plan and would like to set a court date for reunification. The DCF attorney immediately jumped in stating that I had not completed my case plan. She would not say what I have not done, my lawyer can not figure out what I have not done, and the case manager says she "thinks" I'm done.
Also, DCF is requesting that I sign a release giving them access to my prenatal records for my current pregnancy. Several people have told me to refuse. I'm not sure what to do about that.
It is very difficult for me to get ahold of my lawyer, when I do speak to her, it's usually only for a couple minutes before court, and I'm at a loss as to how to deal with any of this. I'm concerned about my daughter's welfare, psychological and physical, I'm worried about my unborn child (due early August), and I want my family reunited. Can anyone give me some insight?
In late December 2009, my 5 year old daughter (then 4) and I entered into a domestic violence shelter in SW Florida. I'm also diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Directly before going to the shelter, I learned I was pregnant. After being in the shelter for approximately 2 weeks, I spoke to the father of my unborn child on the phone, and I was informed that he had no intention of having anything to do with the child. I was scared and upset. I went outside so that my daughter could play on the playground across the yard, and I could sit and think. A counselor had overheard the conversation, came outside, and asked if I'd like to talk. I said I did want to talk, and said that I was considering abortion. At this point in time, I was approximately 8.5 weeks along (though at the time, I wasn't sure exactly how far along, and estimated no more than 9-10 weeks). She told me that legally it was too late to abort, which I knew was untrue, and I asked if she knew of any local resources I could call to discuss it further. I also mentioned that I'd really wanted to keep the baby from the beginning, but feared it wouldn't be fair to my daughter, myself, or the baby given the circumstances. She brought up that I seemed depressed, and I said, of course I was in the current situation. I'd been asking for referrals for therapy since I arrived (mostly to cope with my social anxiety). As my social anxiety prevents me from being able to take public buses, the counselor suggested that I go to inpatient care at the local mental health facility for a couple days so that I could see if there were any medications I could take while pregnant (I was on Xanax prior to my pregnancy) and if they had any programs that could help me obtain therapy, and asked if I would be interested in that if someone at the shelter could watch my daughter while I was there. I said yes. She inquired if I was considering suicide several times during the conversation, and each time, I said no. Once I expressed interest in inpatient treatment, she brought myself and my daughter inside and asked another counselor to sit with my daughter while we went into her office to talk.
While in the counselor's office, I signed a form giving two residents at the shelter consent to watch my daughter for up to 72 hours, and another giving consent to another shelter to take her temporarily in the event I was gone longer than 72 hours. She then left the room to call the mental health facility, and returned saying that as a result of the influx of patients as it was the holiday season, the facility said that they would turn me away at the door if I checked in voluntarily, and that the only way I'd be seen was if I went in under a Baker Act (non-voluntary admittance to mental health facility for stabilization). The counselor said if I was willing to agree to that, she'd call the police to transport me, saying she'd have to tell them I was suicidal. As I was desperate for resources at that point and she seemed like she was trying to help me, I agreed.
Upon arriving at the facility, as I had not yet received prenatal care, and I wasn't completely sure of my due date, they transferred me to the hospital for medical clearance. I was kept overnight for observation, and then held for 8 days while waiting for a bed in the mental health facility. While in the hospital (January 2, 2010), I was informed that my daughter had been taken by DCF and placed in foster care. When I called the shelter and spoke to the counselor to find out what was going on, she said "You said you were going to kill your baby." I said that I needed to consider my options, abortion is perfectly legal, and I was upset, and I asked what on earth that had to do with my daughter being taken. She refused to answer, and quickly ended the conversation.
When I returned to the mental health facility, I was told that what the counselor had told me about a Baker Act being necessary to receive treatment was completely false. I left on my second day and went to a different branch of the shelter. When I spoke to DCF, I was informed that there were allegations that I had threatened to kill myself and my daughter. This was by the counselor, and she apparently had also coached my daughter to say the same thing. My daughter's statement was eventually thrown out, by the way, due to her age. My court appointed attorney said that whether I actually said it or not didn't really matter, and that my best bet was to just cooperate with DCF, which I've done.
The case plan with DCF stated that the reason for her removal was concerns about my mental health, and that once I was shown not to be a threat to myself or my daughter, she could be returned. On my case plan, I have two tasks. The first being to receive a mental health evaluation (which I did), and the second was to follow the recommendations of the evaluation (which I have done). Note, my doctor and therapist have stated on record at each visit that I am not a threat to myself or others, and I have copies of the medical records showing as such. DCF assigned a case manager through Lutheran Family Services (a sub-contractor of DCF) to handle the case at the case planning conference. I was also given one weekly three hour supervised visit by the judge.
During my daughter's stay in the foster home, the case manager has cancelled and shortened several of my visits due to her busy schedule and her personal life. One visit was cancelled 20 minutes beforehand because her daughter was sick, in example. During our first visit, my daughter was covered in a rash which I was informed was Scabies. While examining the rash, I found several small, round bruises. My daughter informed me they were from other children pinching her. The case manager said that my daughter had began lying, stealing, acting out violently, and breaking other children's toys (which is NOT like her) and that made the abuse acceptable.
My daughter has begun having accidents (urinating and defecating on herself), and has arrived to many of the visits wearing dirty panties, with feces dried on her buttocks and genitalia, and wearing urine soaked socks and shoes. This was mentioned to the case manager. 3 weeks ago, she complained during a visit that it burned when she urinated, I went over wiping habits to be sure she was wiping properly (which she was), and called the case manager (as at this point she'd begun having another woman supervise the visits) to inform her and request that my daughter receive medical attention for a possible urinary tract infection. When I called back the next week to inquire if she'd received medical attention, the case manager did not know. When I called her supervisor to find out, the case manager quickly called me back, berating me for calling her supervisor, stating that she had other clients to deal with too, but that she did check, and that no, my daughter had not received medical attention, nor would she be receiving medical attention as she had not complained to the foster mother. My daughter continued complaining of burning upon urination at subsequent visits and I reported it to to the case manager.
At my last two visits (one make up visit on Thursday as they owed us 11 hours at that point, and my regular visit on Friday), my daughter continued complaining of burning during urination, and complained that her vulva itched badly. She still has not received medical attention. She has also started pulling her own hair out.
Several weeks ago (when I found the bruises), I asked the case manager if my daughter was seeing a therapist, she said no, I asked why and wanted to know when she would be because her behavioral changes and lower self esteem concerned me, and she said she'd check into it. When I inquired again later, she said that my daughter had begun treatment. Friday, I received a call from a man who identified himself as my daughter's therapist. He was calling to set up her first appointment. He had never met with her before, and was not aware that she was still in foster care. I have been unable to reach the case manager or anyone in her organization to find out why I had been told my daughter was in therapy, or why she currently isn't.
During our last court date (two weeks ago), my lawyer said that I had finished my case plan and would like to set a court date for reunification. The DCF attorney immediately jumped in stating that I had not completed my case plan. She would not say what I have not done, my lawyer can not figure out what I have not done, and the case manager says she "thinks" I'm done.
Also, DCF is requesting that I sign a release giving them access to my prenatal records for my current pregnancy. Several people have told me to refuse. I'm not sure what to do about that.
It is very difficult for me to get ahold of my lawyer, when I do speak to her, it's usually only for a couple minutes before court, and I'm at a loss as to how to deal with any of this. I'm concerned about my daughter's welfare, psychological and physical, I'm worried about my unborn child (due early August), and I want my family reunited. Can anyone give me some insight?
