Daughter being verbally abused by mother

[mikeoffy]

My 14yr old daughter is being verbally abused by her mother. There are times where she also says her mother has choked her. I am sure it is not with intent to harm but non the less it is not good. I have joint legal placement and custody. My daughter stays with me Monday thru Friday and is with her mother Friday nights, Saturday and Sunday. The last 3 weekends I get calls from both my daughter and her mom complaining about each other. I here in the background a lot of swearing going on and name calling and it is just not a healthy situation for either parties involved. I have already gone over and picked my daughter up to get her out of the situation she is in. Last weekend her mother called me 3 hours after Kristy got home from school on Friday asking if she can drop her off. Then the next morning she called and said you keep her I don't want to deal with her. Her mother needs help. There is a lot more to this but that's what's going on lately.


What rights do I have to protect my daughter? Do I need to force my daughter go by her mom and subject her to this kind of treatment? If I dont send her or let her go to her moms what kind of legal trouble would that mean for me?

 

[WhirledPeas]

You're saying that Mom is voluntarily shortening or eliminating the visits, so document that and her reasons and your observations. You may want to sit down with mom and talk about an agreed modification of the parenting schedule, then filing it with the court.

If mom pushes the issue and demands her time and you haven't modified the parenting schedule, you do have to do what you can to get your daughter there - IF you're responsible for transportation. If not, just don't appear to be supportive of daughter not going there and don't fetch her from mom's without moms permission.

Have you suggested family counseling to mom? At minimum, I'd get your daughter into counseling for herself either to help cope with a difficult parent or to learn how to manage her own behavior, or both.

Either way, you've got four more years of this. Mom could choose to just let this fade into infrequent visits or she could decide she wanted her full time whether daughter wants it or not. Getting schedule changes on paper and legal will help all three of you.

 

[mikeoffy]

Thanks for the advice.