custody of 11 yr old daughter

[mebemama]

I have an 11 yr old daughter and her real father has never been around and is not on birth certificate.
my father wants to adopt her so we can share custody of her but I am not sure how to do or what's to even call it any help you can give would be great

 

[calalily]

What exactly do you think will happen if he adopts her? What would be the benefit? In a marriage the step spouse can adopt the step child if other parent forfeits parental rights. The procedure for your father to adopt would be more complicated and may require you to give up parental rights as well as the birth father. So exactly what do you mean share custody? Is this for insurance/medical coverage or something like that? Duranie is really good about this type of information so hold on an I'm sure she'll have more information for you.

 

[Duranie]

Generally unless this man is the father or your husband he cannot adopt. It would be wierd explaining to people why your father is the legal dad. Most courts do not allow this.

If real dad is not on any birth paperwork he has no rights anyways.

 

[calalily]

Found this in a woman's digest magazine.
ADOPTION
A grandparent may adopt a grandchild if the parents' parental rights are terminated in a dependency proceeding, if the child's parents are deceased or if the parents consent. The adoption of a child is permanent. The child's biological parents no longer have any legal rights or responsibilities where the child is concerned. A court order is required. The adoptive parents may allow visitation between the child and the biological parents unless there is a court order prohibiting visitation. The biological parents are not required to pay child support to the adoptive parents, though they may be required to pay past due child support that was owed before the child was adopted. If the parents consent to the adoption or if the parents are deceased, this procedure can be completed in a few months. Grandparents, other relatives and persons who are not related to the child may be considered as prospective adoptive parents.

Since you mention joint custody then adoption is not what you want to do or even guardianship as you would have to terminate your parental rights through court.

 

[Duranie]

Also in order for you to terminate dads rights, paternity will need to be established. Not sure if it is worth the headache to track him down and confirm paternity.