TXMontanan
New Member
This is complicated; I am very sorry that it is so long.
My husband and I have been married for five years and have been separated for three but never bothered to seek divorce because it never seemed that important. However, custody issues have arisen that have made this not only crucial but have had potentially devastating consequences.
We started out together in North Carolina, were stationed together in the Marines, and had one child together there. When we separated (we never legally filed) it was agreed that I would have primary custody and he would have secondary custody. He moved to Montana while I stayed behind (he got out and I was still in). He took our son for three months to visit him, but our son stayed with my ex's parents instead of his father. Our son returned after the summer visit.
I got pregnant by another man shortly before my son returned, and it was arranged that our son would return for another summer visit shortly before my arranged c-section since it coincided well with the circumstances anyway. Our son, once again, stayed with his grandparents instead of his father, which I said bothered me, but I allowed He was scheduled to return to me when I got out of the Marines, which was scheduled for the end of the summer. However, I was extended indefinitely for a medical procedure, and I allowed our son to stay there instead of having him return without knowing when exactly I would get out.
He had been in Montana with his grandparents for nearly a year by the time I got out, and, when I returned to get him, planning to continue on to my parents' place in Texas, I stayed with my ex for a couple of days to rest after the long car trip and to let our son get used to me again.
One day after I had gotten there my ex called his parents in the middle of the night and they came and got our son. I was not told that he was going to call them. He did not want me to take our son to Texas. I did not physically resist this because my son was used to his grandparents and I did not want to traumatize him.
I decided to stay in Montana to ease the custody situation, which broke me financially, and I was homeless for three months (in a shelter) while collecting the pieces. I got an apartment and had a job and was doing all right, while planning to get custody of my son soon, but then severe car problems made it financially impossible for me to stay, so I had to move back to Texas with my daughter, and I did not take my son. I seldom got to see him while I was in Montana because he was two hundred miles away, with his grandparents, not his father (who is emotionally unstable and who worked a night shift), and I was dependent on his father and my work schedule for transportation. The car I had was not capable of making that long of a trip, as was evidenced by its complete failure shortly after.
I moved back to Texas with the understanding that I would be getting my son shortly after, and I have been saving money and have moved in with my boyfriend and out of my parents' place. I have been here for about nine months and have had minimal contact with my son; I seldom call because they rarely picked up the phone when I tried and I also do not think that is the best way to get to know him again. I do not wish to speak to his grandparents because they are liars who, in taking him that night, took shameful advantage of an upper hand to monopolize my son. They have taken him out of state repeatedly without notifying me of the trips they were taking.
We arranged that he would file for divorce, but when I got the parenting plan I was appalled. It demands that I have ten supervised visits and take a parenting class before I am able to see my son unsupervised (this is while he's in another state due to no fault of mine), I will not be able to see him outside of Montana, and it states that his father will "continue" to have custody of him whenever it has never been that way - he has never lived by himself with my son; he has only lived with him either when we were together or when he was staying with his parents. I am not sure if this would impact the situation since I know that my ex would just leave my son with his parents for even longer.
What can I do against this? This is the initial filing and I know that I need to file a reply, but I can't think of anything short of writing "NO" on a piece of paper and submitting it. I have not had any hostile communications with my ex since then (or in months) because it seems unwise.
Please help. I do not have a great deal of money and I have one other child (who has been mentioned minimally because that doesn't seem relevant) to care for, and, while planning to move back to Montana ASAP, cannot do so immediately because it would be financially unwise. I know that I cannot get legal aid here because it's cross-state and I cannot get legal aid there because I am not a resident. He has me well and truly screwed.
Anyone who knows me would attest that I am a good parent, that I take good care of my daughter, that I took good care of my son while it was just the two of us, and that my boyfriend is excellent with my daughter as well (since we live together and that may be a concern).
The jurisdiction is in Cascade County, Montana. I am in Tarrant County, TX.
My husband and I have been married for five years and have been separated for three but never bothered to seek divorce because it never seemed that important. However, custody issues have arisen that have made this not only crucial but have had potentially devastating consequences.
We started out together in North Carolina, were stationed together in the Marines, and had one child together there. When we separated (we never legally filed) it was agreed that I would have primary custody and he would have secondary custody. He moved to Montana while I stayed behind (he got out and I was still in). He took our son for three months to visit him, but our son stayed with my ex's parents instead of his father. Our son returned after the summer visit.
I got pregnant by another man shortly before my son returned, and it was arranged that our son would return for another summer visit shortly before my arranged c-section since it coincided well with the circumstances anyway. Our son, once again, stayed with his grandparents instead of his father, which I said bothered me, but I allowed He was scheduled to return to me when I got out of the Marines, which was scheduled for the end of the summer. However, I was extended indefinitely for a medical procedure, and I allowed our son to stay there instead of having him return without knowing when exactly I would get out.
He had been in Montana with his grandparents for nearly a year by the time I got out, and, when I returned to get him, planning to continue on to my parents' place in Texas, I stayed with my ex for a couple of days to rest after the long car trip and to let our son get used to me again.
One day after I had gotten there my ex called his parents in the middle of the night and they came and got our son. I was not told that he was going to call them. He did not want me to take our son to Texas. I did not physically resist this because my son was used to his grandparents and I did not want to traumatize him.
I decided to stay in Montana to ease the custody situation, which broke me financially, and I was homeless for three months (in a shelter) while collecting the pieces. I got an apartment and had a job and was doing all right, while planning to get custody of my son soon, but then severe car problems made it financially impossible for me to stay, so I had to move back to Texas with my daughter, and I did not take my son. I seldom got to see him while I was in Montana because he was two hundred miles away, with his grandparents, not his father (who is emotionally unstable and who worked a night shift), and I was dependent on his father and my work schedule for transportation. The car I had was not capable of making that long of a trip, as was evidenced by its complete failure shortly after.
I moved back to Texas with the understanding that I would be getting my son shortly after, and I have been saving money and have moved in with my boyfriend and out of my parents' place. I have been here for about nine months and have had minimal contact with my son; I seldom call because they rarely picked up the phone when I tried and I also do not think that is the best way to get to know him again. I do not wish to speak to his grandparents because they are liars who, in taking him that night, took shameful advantage of an upper hand to monopolize my son. They have taken him out of state repeatedly without notifying me of the trips they were taking.
We arranged that he would file for divorce, but when I got the parenting plan I was appalled. It demands that I have ten supervised visits and take a parenting class before I am able to see my son unsupervised (this is while he's in another state due to no fault of mine), I will not be able to see him outside of Montana, and it states that his father will "continue" to have custody of him whenever it has never been that way - he has never lived by himself with my son; he has only lived with him either when we were together or when he was staying with his parents. I am not sure if this would impact the situation since I know that my ex would just leave my son with his parents for even longer.
What can I do against this? This is the initial filing and I know that I need to file a reply, but I can't think of anything short of writing "NO" on a piece of paper and submitting it. I have not had any hostile communications with my ex since then (or in months) because it seems unwise.
Please help. I do not have a great deal of money and I have one other child (who has been mentioned minimally because that doesn't seem relevant) to care for, and, while planning to move back to Montana ASAP, cannot do so immediately because it would be financially unwise. I know that I cannot get legal aid here because it's cross-state and I cannot get legal aid there because I am not a resident. He has me well and truly screwed.
Anyone who knows me would attest that I am a good parent, that I take good care of my daughter, that I took good care of my son while it was just the two of us, and that my boyfriend is excellent with my daughter as well (since we live together and that may be a concern).
The jurisdiction is in Cascade County, Montana. I am in Tarrant County, TX.
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