Recently I've been caring for a 11 year old boy while he was visiting his mother for the summer. I've been babysitting him while she works and we've become like brothers which makes my concern in this situation even stronger. He's told me of some of the stuff that goes on at his dad's including his step mother terrorizing him by telling him people are going to come in his room at night and kill him to the point that the kid just can't sleep because he's so scared.
His dad is never around so he's pretty much under the thumb of this woman most of the time and she's causing him a great deal of mental and emotional abuse as well as having beat him in the past with everything from a cane to a wire hanger. She's given him black eyes and everything but there's never any physical evidence for anyone concerned to act on because they live a state away so his mother really doesn't see it and his phone calls are monitored so he can't really tell her without suffering more.
I've seen the emotional scars this poor kid has because he's opened up to me and told me everything. I know he's telling the truth because he was blindsided when I talked to him so it wasn't like he had something made up in his head or was making it up in his head. The things they do to this child make me cry because I love him a great deal and I hate to see him hurt so much by someone who's supposed to love him.
His dad pretty much verbally abuses him to the point that I've seen pure hatred in that boy's eyes for his father. He didn't even have the kid for 10 minutes this week and he was already tearing him apart in the parking lot on how bad he is and how worthless he is. I wanted so much to step in and punch him in the face but I've swore to the child that I'd only act in his best interest and getting the one person he feels comfortable opening up to thrown out of his life for punching his father isn't in his best interest.
I know that, I know it's really not my place to step in but my first instinct is to protect the child and seeing him taunted by his father for cowering behind his mother got to be too much for me to bear and I had to walk away. I did not walk away from the child, I will never turn my back on him but I had to walk away before I did something that wasn't in anyone's best interest. I literally shook for 5 hours after getting home I was so enraged that anyone could hurt this precious little boy so much.
I think that whole situation was partly for my benefit because his father acts like the type of guy who enjoys tearing that kid down. He sees me as a threat because he knows I love his son and would do anything in the world for him and he knows his son loves me right back. So that was just a show that in his mind was going to drive a wedge between us. Like if I knew what a little monster the kid was I would turn on him and not want anything to do with him. I didn't work it just made my determination to help him even stronger.
I know what a great kid he is. He's not a monster. He may be a monster with him because that's the way he's treated. That kid is treated like dirt and he hates being there because of it. But I've seen so deep into that child's heart and I know he's not bad. He has alot of problems that they've caused for him but he's not a bad boy.
I tell him all the time that he's not a bad boy because he isn't. He has alot of wonderful qualities that make him a blessing on this earth. It's just a pity his father can't see them. I'm proud to call him my little brother which is what our relationship has developed into. He's more than just some kid I babysat for now just like I'm more than just some guy who watched him to him. We've adopted each other and we'll be brothers forever in our hearts.
He uses him to hurt his mother and it's not right because he's a little boy, he has feelings. He does not deserve to be treated in this manner by his own father. I see how much it hurts him and he's old enough and smart enough to see thru what his father does.
He knows he uses him to hurt his mom, he knows that his father tries to buy his love because he knows his mom can't afford to give him the things he can. But the kid sees the bigger picture because he's so unhappy there that he's wants to go live with his mother who couldn't afford to give him everything he wants.
The kid is even so unhappy there that he asked if he could live with me and I've only known him a little over a month. He tore my heart out when he asked me that because if I thought that was a remote possibility I would be the least of his problems. I know what he's told me is true so I would take him away from that in a heartbeat if I could.
I've searched but I can't find anything detailing what would need to be done to allow for that to happen. I don't think his mother would be hard to convince that if the kid can't be with her, he's better off here than in an abusive environment. His dad might be harder to convince but I think it would be possible since he doesn't want the kid and just uses him to hurt his mother. He's told him he doesn't want to deal with him. He's even told him that if it came down between his step-mother and him, he'd be the one who leaves.
Which just makes me even angrier that he would chose a woman over his own son. It's pathetic really because I would give anything to keep that boy in my life because there's so much true love in my heart for him and the so-called man that has him in his life and should love him more than I do doesn't want him, doesn't spend time with him and treats him like dirt. It just doesn't make sense to me.
I see how that hurts him and it makes me sad and angry. I give that kid so much love and I am no one to him, but his own father can't give him love. I don't think he's ever hugged that kid. I've given him friendly hugs here and there and it seems like a foreign concept to him. That a man would actually display affection for him. He's becoming used to it from me because he's starting to understand that it is alright for a man to display affection for him.
I seriously don't think he gets alot of love from his father. Just seeing how his father acts towards him I'm pretty sure of it. He has so many people who are supposed to love him tearing him down and making him feel bad. I'm glad I can be someone who builds him up, makes him feel good about himself and makes him feel loved. His mother said he broke down and cried because I told him I love him before hanging up the phone. He got off the phone with me and went "Tom just told me he loves me and that felt so good" and just broke down crying. I guess in that moment it just hit him that I really mean it because I've said it before.
He's even told that kid that he's not even going to deal with him any more and he can go live with his mother if he wants and he'll never see him again. I hope to God he lets him make that choice. That he would terminate his rights and let his mother have him. Because that's what's in the best interest of the child.
That little boy I saw Sunday was not the little boy I know. That kid looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He went on and on and on about me about how I was like the big brother he never had and how good I am to him to his dad. But when he had the opportunity to introduce us he didn't. I understand. He knows me well enough to know that would be like lighting the fuse on a stick of dynamite. Especially if he would have started hurting that boy emotionally.
I understand why he didn't hug me with much emotion as well. He doesn't want his dad to know just how much he loves me so I can be something he can use to hurt him. But that boy looked back at him with such hatred in his eyes because he knows he's being tore away from a place where he is loved and treated good to go back to somewhere where he's made to suffer. I fully understand his reasoning there. He hates having to go, I hate him having to go.
I want to help him so much because I know he's hurting, I know he's desperate for a way out and there's so little I can do. His mother was declared unfit for some reason but that was awhile back so maybe there's a way to overturn that decision. Maybe his father will do what's in his best interest and let him go. I doubt it because he wouldn't have that to hold over his mother any more. His mother can't afford a lawyer and from what she says there's no cheap or free legal counsel available in cases like this. Surely, something can be done to help get this kid out of the situation he's in. I just can't find it.
His dad is never around so he's pretty much under the thumb of this woman most of the time and she's causing him a great deal of mental and emotional abuse as well as having beat him in the past with everything from a cane to a wire hanger. She's given him black eyes and everything but there's never any physical evidence for anyone concerned to act on because they live a state away so his mother really doesn't see it and his phone calls are monitored so he can't really tell her without suffering more.
I've seen the emotional scars this poor kid has because he's opened up to me and told me everything. I know he's telling the truth because he was blindsided when I talked to him so it wasn't like he had something made up in his head or was making it up in his head. The things they do to this child make me cry because I love him a great deal and I hate to see him hurt so much by someone who's supposed to love him.
His dad pretty much verbally abuses him to the point that I've seen pure hatred in that boy's eyes for his father. He didn't even have the kid for 10 minutes this week and he was already tearing him apart in the parking lot on how bad he is and how worthless he is. I wanted so much to step in and punch him in the face but I've swore to the child that I'd only act in his best interest and getting the one person he feels comfortable opening up to thrown out of his life for punching his father isn't in his best interest.
I know that, I know it's really not my place to step in but my first instinct is to protect the child and seeing him taunted by his father for cowering behind his mother got to be too much for me to bear and I had to walk away. I did not walk away from the child, I will never turn my back on him but I had to walk away before I did something that wasn't in anyone's best interest. I literally shook for 5 hours after getting home I was so enraged that anyone could hurt this precious little boy so much.
I think that whole situation was partly for my benefit because his father acts like the type of guy who enjoys tearing that kid down. He sees me as a threat because he knows I love his son and would do anything in the world for him and he knows his son loves me right back. So that was just a show that in his mind was going to drive a wedge between us. Like if I knew what a little monster the kid was I would turn on him and not want anything to do with him. I didn't work it just made my determination to help him even stronger.
I know what a great kid he is. He's not a monster. He may be a monster with him because that's the way he's treated. That kid is treated like dirt and he hates being there because of it. But I've seen so deep into that child's heart and I know he's not bad. He has alot of problems that they've caused for him but he's not a bad boy.
I tell him all the time that he's not a bad boy because he isn't. He has alot of wonderful qualities that make him a blessing on this earth. It's just a pity his father can't see them. I'm proud to call him my little brother which is what our relationship has developed into. He's more than just some kid I babysat for now just like I'm more than just some guy who watched him to him. We've adopted each other and we'll be brothers forever in our hearts.
He uses him to hurt his mother and it's not right because he's a little boy, he has feelings. He does not deserve to be treated in this manner by his own father. I see how much it hurts him and he's old enough and smart enough to see thru what his father does.
He knows he uses him to hurt his mom, he knows that his father tries to buy his love because he knows his mom can't afford to give him the things he can. But the kid sees the bigger picture because he's so unhappy there that he's wants to go live with his mother who couldn't afford to give him everything he wants.
The kid is even so unhappy there that he asked if he could live with me and I've only known him a little over a month. He tore my heart out when he asked me that because if I thought that was a remote possibility I would be the least of his problems. I know what he's told me is true so I would take him away from that in a heartbeat if I could.
I've searched but I can't find anything detailing what would need to be done to allow for that to happen. I don't think his mother would be hard to convince that if the kid can't be with her, he's better off here than in an abusive environment. His dad might be harder to convince but I think it would be possible since he doesn't want the kid and just uses him to hurt his mother. He's told him he doesn't want to deal with him. He's even told him that if it came down between his step-mother and him, he'd be the one who leaves.
Which just makes me even angrier that he would chose a woman over his own son. It's pathetic really because I would give anything to keep that boy in my life because there's so much true love in my heart for him and the so-called man that has him in his life and should love him more than I do doesn't want him, doesn't spend time with him and treats him like dirt. It just doesn't make sense to me.
I see how that hurts him and it makes me sad and angry. I give that kid so much love and I am no one to him, but his own father can't give him love. I don't think he's ever hugged that kid. I've given him friendly hugs here and there and it seems like a foreign concept to him. That a man would actually display affection for him. He's becoming used to it from me because he's starting to understand that it is alright for a man to display affection for him.
I seriously don't think he gets alot of love from his father. Just seeing how his father acts towards him I'm pretty sure of it. He has so many people who are supposed to love him tearing him down and making him feel bad. I'm glad I can be someone who builds him up, makes him feel good about himself and makes him feel loved. His mother said he broke down and cried because I told him I love him before hanging up the phone. He got off the phone with me and went "Tom just told me he loves me and that felt so good" and just broke down crying. I guess in that moment it just hit him that I really mean it because I've said it before.
He's even told that kid that he's not even going to deal with him any more and he can go live with his mother if he wants and he'll never see him again. I hope to God he lets him make that choice. That he would terminate his rights and let his mother have him. Because that's what's in the best interest of the child.
That little boy I saw Sunday was not the little boy I know. That kid looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He went on and on and on about me about how I was like the big brother he never had and how good I am to him to his dad. But when he had the opportunity to introduce us he didn't. I understand. He knows me well enough to know that would be like lighting the fuse on a stick of dynamite. Especially if he would have started hurting that boy emotionally.
I understand why he didn't hug me with much emotion as well. He doesn't want his dad to know just how much he loves me so I can be something he can use to hurt him. But that boy looked back at him with such hatred in his eyes because he knows he's being tore away from a place where he is loved and treated good to go back to somewhere where he's made to suffer. I fully understand his reasoning there. He hates having to go, I hate him having to go.
I want to help him so much because I know he's hurting, I know he's desperate for a way out and there's so little I can do. His mother was declared unfit for some reason but that was awhile back so maybe there's a way to overturn that decision. Maybe his father will do what's in his best interest and let him go. I doubt it because he wouldn't have that to hold over his mother any more. His mother can't afford a lawyer and from what she says there's no cheap or free legal counsel available in cases like this. Surely, something can be done to help get this kid out of the situation he's in. I just can't find it.
