Anon-e-Mouse
Member
- Jurisdiction
- California
First I want to apologize for asking a long and complicated question. I wasn't sure what category to put it in so I put it here. I believe I asked a similar question here some time ago, but (a) this is different, and (b) I couldn't find my previously asked question either.
I have an elderly relative for whom I have medical POA and for whom I am also listed as the executor of their estate. My relative lives in a continuous care facility. I am their closest blood relative. I live 1/2 way across the country from them and have, myself, become disabled, though I do have a good job and am still working full time with accommodation. It would be impossible for me to travel to California to see for myself what is going on. So whatever I do to look out for my relative needs to be done at a distance.
My relative has wanted to invoke their state's "Death With Dignity" law ever since it became law. It allows terminally ill people to choose when and where to end their life, with a prescription for a lethal dose of a drug. The law specifically excludes old age as a qualifying "terminal" illness. And my relative doesn't have a terminal illness. In fact they are remarkably healthy, physically, except for some knee pain and a possible heart problem that developed years ago after a car accident. They still have a top notch heart doctor, who says their heart is in great shape now, and keeps telling them their heart isn't likely to kill them anytime soon.
However this relative has had life-long struggles with mental health issues, including recurring depression. My relative is suspicious of what they call "the medical-industrial complex," and has always refused all medically prescribed treatment for mental health conditions. I.e., they would rather commit physician-assisted suicide than take an anti-depressant. I have been on numerous conference calls with my relative and their primary care doctor about this issue, to no avail. My relative is attracted to, and uses, a number of alternative remedies recommended by alternative practitioners for various things. My relative does not have dementia. But the isolation of the global pandemic definitely has made her depression, hopelessness, and isolation worse.
This situation has taken an alarming turn. My relative found a foreign doctor, who appears to be an MD but who mostly lives and practices overseas. This foreign doctor told my relative to immediately stop (cold turkey!) taking a hormone medication the relative has taken for the past 80 (sic) years. My relative's childhood doctor prescribed it to them as a teenager. Other doctors have tried, unsuccessfully, to wean them off it, and have reduced it to the lowest possible level before dangerous symptoms started setting in. This foreign dr told my relative to stop taking that medication altogether (which could be dangerous) and prescribed another medication to lower my relative's blood pressure, which already borders on too low all the time, roughly 100/55 (sic) or so. Doing these 2 things at once could kill them. I asked to speak to the foreign dr who will not return emails or phone calls. My relative says the doctor lives in India. The facility where my relative lives was somehow involved ... I'm not exactly sure how ... in putting this foreign dr in touch with several of their residents.
I try not to be a paranoid person, but the worst-case scenario seems to me like the facility is trying to bump off the oldest and longest-term residents (who don't pay as much as newer patients) so they can have space to bring in new higher-paying patients. I don't really want to accuse them of anything like that because I have absolutely no proof whatsoever. But I'm just very concerned that something doesn't smell right to me here.
So finally my question: What are my options here?
Thank you for reading this far. I'm looking forward to any decent thoughts and ideas I can get.
I have an elderly relative for whom I have medical POA and for whom I am also listed as the executor of their estate. My relative lives in a continuous care facility. I am their closest blood relative. I live 1/2 way across the country from them and have, myself, become disabled, though I do have a good job and am still working full time with accommodation. It would be impossible for me to travel to California to see for myself what is going on. So whatever I do to look out for my relative needs to be done at a distance.
My relative has wanted to invoke their state's "Death With Dignity" law ever since it became law. It allows terminally ill people to choose when and where to end their life, with a prescription for a lethal dose of a drug. The law specifically excludes old age as a qualifying "terminal" illness. And my relative doesn't have a terminal illness. In fact they are remarkably healthy, physically, except for some knee pain and a possible heart problem that developed years ago after a car accident. They still have a top notch heart doctor, who says their heart is in great shape now, and keeps telling them their heart isn't likely to kill them anytime soon.
However this relative has had life-long struggles with mental health issues, including recurring depression. My relative is suspicious of what they call "the medical-industrial complex," and has always refused all medically prescribed treatment for mental health conditions. I.e., they would rather commit physician-assisted suicide than take an anti-depressant. I have been on numerous conference calls with my relative and their primary care doctor about this issue, to no avail. My relative is attracted to, and uses, a number of alternative remedies recommended by alternative practitioners for various things. My relative does not have dementia. But the isolation of the global pandemic definitely has made her depression, hopelessness, and isolation worse.
This situation has taken an alarming turn. My relative found a foreign doctor, who appears to be an MD but who mostly lives and practices overseas. This foreign doctor told my relative to immediately stop (cold turkey!) taking a hormone medication the relative has taken for the past 80 (sic) years. My relative's childhood doctor prescribed it to them as a teenager. Other doctors have tried, unsuccessfully, to wean them off it, and have reduced it to the lowest possible level before dangerous symptoms started setting in. This foreign dr told my relative to stop taking that medication altogether (which could be dangerous) and prescribed another medication to lower my relative's blood pressure, which already borders on too low all the time, roughly 100/55 (sic) or so. Doing these 2 things at once could kill them. I asked to speak to the foreign dr who will not return emails or phone calls. My relative says the doctor lives in India. The facility where my relative lives was somehow involved ... I'm not exactly sure how ... in putting this foreign dr in touch with several of their residents.
I try not to be a paranoid person, but the worst-case scenario seems to me like the facility is trying to bump off the oldest and longest-term residents (who don't pay as much as newer patients) so they can have space to bring in new higher-paying patients. I don't really want to accuse them of anything like that because I have absolutely no proof whatsoever. But I'm just very concerned that something doesn't smell right to me here.
So finally my question: What are my options here?
Thank you for reading this far. I'm looking forward to any decent thoughts and ideas I can get.