Common Law questions

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commonbeck

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Folks,
I have some common law marriage questions and I really need some advice. I have been living with a girl in the state of Texas for 5 years. We do not share bank accounts, the house is under my name and she lives here without paying any bills. We both agree we are not married and introduce ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. According to the rules of common law marriage in Texas we are not common law married, but am I properly protected, or should we get some other form of documentation to protect myself from her one day trying to claim we are in fact common law married? At this time, she is not interested in being married but as we all know people change.

Next question and a lot more complicated; Our families are not thrilled regarding our arrangement. to appease them we have decided to have a sham wedding in another country. The plan is to go through the process in Mexico, but never file anything in the US. We don't plan on changing our names or changing our living arrangements. What strongly bothers me is that after going through that whole process of sham marriage, this may be construed as common law. Especially if we end up introducing ourselves as married. Is there some way to protect myself?

She is okay signing whatever is necessary, if anything is really necessary.
Please help
 
commonbeck said:
Folks,
I have some common law marriage questions and I really need some advice. I have been living with a girl in the state of Texas for 5 years. We do not share bank accounts, the house is under my name and she lives here without paying any bills. We both agree we are not married and introduce ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. According to the rules of common law marriage in Texas we are not common law married, but am I properly protected, or should we get some other form of documentation to protect myself from her one day trying to claim we are in fact common law married? At this time, she is not interested in being married but as we all know people change.

Next question and a lot more complicated; Our families are not thrilled regarding our arrangement. to appease them we have decided to have a sham wedding in another country. The plan is to go through the process in Mexico, but never file anything in the US. We don't plan on changing our names or changing our living arrangements. What strongly bothers me is that after going through that whole process of sham marriage, this may be construed as common law. Especially if we end up introducing ourselves as married. Is there some way to protect myself?

She is okay signing whatever is necessary, if anything is really necessary.
Please help
Click to expand...

First of all, there is no common law marriage simply by a public pronouncement, or by being together in Texas.

You must do the following, before your common law marriage is recognized by the state of Texas.

A couple that wishes to formalize a common law marriage can file a Declaration of Marriage. To do this, the couple should get a form for filing a Declaration of Marriage, sign it, and file it with the County Clerk in the County where the couple lives.

If you don't file the form, you aren't in a common law marriage.

Okay, if you marry her in Mexico, it won't be considered a SHAM marriage. It'll be considered a MARRIAGE, if she one day gets angry, becomes disenchanted with you, trust me, she'll seek a divorce.

Or, the day might come when you want to marry someone other than her, and she'll seek a divorce and a bunch of your money.

Don't play house, it ain't a joke, it'll make you broke.

Then there's the issue of birth control. God forbid a child pops up along the way.

I suggest you get out of this SHAM arrangement before both of you do something very, very stupid that you'll regret or it'll cost you a mint!!!!

Otherwise, if you're her MR. RIGHT and she's your MS. RIGHT, go ahead and marry her in Mexico or Texas.

My recommendation to young men, after decades of being happily married, don't do it!!!!

It takes (in my case and my wife's - TOOK) too much work. We got lucky. Remember, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Statistically marriage is a very dumb bet.



http://texaslawhelp.org/files/685E9...5BA6E78F/407091LHT 32_1 Comm Law Marriage.pdf
 
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The pretend marriage is a done deal. There is no going back. It is what we do after is what matters.

A few more questions:

1) Are you sure a Mexico wedding is still considered legal in the US? Everything I looked at and read says otherwise.

2) If it is a legit wedding can I just get it annulled as soon as we get back?

3) Does an annulment then protect me from future common law marriage or do I need a new set of paperwork for better protection. Again, she says she will sign or do anything to give me that security.
 
commonbeck said:
The pretend marriage is a done deal. There is no going back. It is what we do after is what matters.

A few more questions:

1) Are you sure a Mexico wedding is still considered legal in the US? Everything I looked at and read says otherwise.

2) If it is a legit wedding can I just get it annulled as soon as we get back?

3) Does an annulment then protect me from future common law marriage or do I need a new set of paperwork for better protection. Again, she says she will sign or do anything to give me that security.
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I do understand, or I wouldn't have posted it.
I'm a lawyer, and a judge.
I gave you a link that explains common law marriages in Texas. Read it.

You don't understand the legal ramifications of what you're doing (or already have done).
I suggest you discuss this with an attorney.
You are misinformed.

You'll understand it when she wants out, or you want out.

A proper marriage in Mexico isn't a sham. It's as valid as proper marriage in the US.
 
If you have already done this why are you here? Its too late for us to advise you now you have already made your choice. By the way in my humble opinion if you cant seal the deal by taking your vows you don't need to be playing house! I assume when you agreed to live together the plan was for this to be permanent. If so then why not marry, if not why move in? By the way sooner or later one of you would want to marry regardless of how you felt at start. That conversation itself could be deal breaker if one of you is happy with your BF/GF status
 
FYI:

There are actually 2 ways to do it in Texas.

Under § 2.401 of the Texas Family Code, an informal marriage can be established either by declaration (registering at the county courthouse without having a ceremony), or by meeting a three-prong test showing evidence of (1) an agreement to be married; (2) cohabitation in Texas; and (3) representation to others that the parties are married.
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Proserpina said:
FYI:

There are actually 2 ways to do it in Texas.
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Again, it isn't that easy.

The problem isn't so troublesome for those declaring themselves to be common law married.

It's more troublesome for the heirs.

It's also troublesome when one or both want out of the ARRANGEMENT, whatever they (or anyone) wants to call it.

Anyway, that's why I provided this link above and now below:

http://texaslawhelp.org/files/685E9...5BA6E78F/407091LHT 32_1 Comm Law Marriage.pdf

Texas Legal Aid lawyers explain the entire process (BOTH OF THEM) thoroughly.
 
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army judge said:
I do understand, or I wouldn't have posted it.
I'm a lawyer, and a judge.
I gave you a link that explains common law marriages in Texas. Read it.

You don't understand the legal ramifications of what you're doing (or already have done).
I suggest you discuss this with an attorney.
You are misinformed.

You'll understand it when she wants out, or you want out.

A proper marriage in Mexico isn't a sham. It's as valid as proper marriage in the US.
Click to expand...

Ok, thanks for that brutal advice. I needed it. We have lived together for 5 years, 4 of which have been in Texas. We get along great together. But I also understand reality, and in the real world anything can change including how we both feel about each other. I have read the PDF you sent, including similar documents prior to posting. Unfortunately none of them discussed marriage out of the country.

So now I got myself in this situation. I need to think forward and not backwards. How do I protect myself going forward?

Do I get it annulled as soon as we get back home?
Do we then file some form of legal document stating we are to not be recognized as common law married? Does a document such as this exist. What are my options now?
When we get back home we are to still keep accounts separate, and file taxes as single since in our eyes we are not married. Does this account for anything?

Also, the wedding in Mexico will not be official, it will be a symbolic wedding only. Does this matter?
 
commonbeck said:
Ok, thanks for that brutal advice. I needed it. We have lived together for 5 years, 4 of which have been in Texas. We get along great together. But I also understand reality, and in the real world anything can change including how we both feel about each other. I have read the PDF you sent, including similar documents prior to posting. Unfortunately none of them discussed marriage out of the country.

So now I got myself in this situation. I need to think forward and not backwards. How do I protect myself going forward?

Do I get it annulled as soon as we get back home?
Do we then file some form of legal document stating we are to not be recognized as common law married? Does a document such as this exist. What are my options now?
When we get back home we are to still keep accounts separate, and file taxes as single since in our eyes we are not married. Does this account for anything?

Also, the wedding in Mexico will not be official, it will be a symbolic wedding only. Does this matter?
Click to expand...


The fact that you're asking these kinds of questions tells me this was more her idea than yours. It usually is the woman who instigates nesting. Next she'll start with wanting to have a baby, maybe babies.

It might be time for you to discuss a prenup with an attorney in your county. You're reluctant to go much farther, yet she wants to go all the way - as in actually marry.

The Mexico sham wedding was likely a compromise.

But, that'll appease things for only so long.

The feelings to marry, have children, etc... Will grow stronger in the one that wants it.

Why not just live apart, if you are worried about WHAT IF?

No, there is nothing to file saying we aren't common law, just friends.

She lives with you for NOTHING. I'd ask myself why any woman would want to not contribute to her care and upkeep. I know women do this when a man rides their mule for free.

I'd only want to live with my wife. Should my wife predecease me, no woman will ever sleep under that roof. It has nothing to do with morality, but everything to do with protecting myself. Unfortunately, you may already be living in a common law marriage.

The three prong test, Proserpina posted is also in the PDF. It's the argument she might try to make to establish that you have lived as common law for five years to get half of your stuff.

If you're worried about WHAT IF, you can stop it now. Why go through the sham (what we call Tom-Tom Marriage) in Mexico?

People do get ill, don't they?

Whatever you decide, I wish you well.
 
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To answer your questions:

I make a pretty good living and want her to live for free because any dollar that she makes is used to buy her things she wants. I don't have to buy her anything. Which helps in both our happiness.

Neither of us want kids for a few more years.

I believe we currently do not fill the three prong test for common law because neither of us say we are married or pass ourselves off as married. But I guess a good lawyer can prove anything if pushed hard enough.

Yes she wanted to be married, or more impertinently she really wanted a ring which she now has. The not officially getting married is a communal decision for quite a few reasons. Financially getting married is a hug liability. She is going back to school in several months and is less likely to get aid when married. Also if married now, half of her degree would be mine and she is looking to make a very good income once out. She has an annuity which she wants to protect as well. Lastly, once she does start making the higher income, the tax liability will increase even further. Practically speaking there is very little advantage to being married, and she completely agrees with that. Lastly, doing a prenup was something she has offered in the past, but figured we did not need one because we were not really get married. All in all, I think I have a lot more to lose in some future divorce.

Back to my questions:
1) Should we just get the marriage annulled once we get back into The States? We really don't want to be married, but need to be in the eyes of her parents.
2) Do we need to file some form of document like a pre-nup to protect assets? For those who are not married and co-habitate, is there a protective document available for them? Again, at the end of the day people can change and I want to make sure I have some form of protection.
 

First of all, those questions didn't need to be answered for my benefit.

Those are answers you need.

I have no dog in this fight, and my horse isn't running until the fifth race.




commonbeck said:
Back to my questions:
1) Should we just get the marriage annulled once we get back into The States? We really don't want to be married, but need to be in the eyes of her parents.
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Before I go any further, how old are you and your beloved?

You said the marriage was a sham.

By sham, do you mean it was simply a marriage performed by a religious officiant without a license (or in some Mexican states, only civil marriages are recognized as legal marriages), or was it performed in a civil ceremony by a civil officer (judge, mayor, other Mexican civil official authorized to perform marriages)?

If it is a sham, meaning not a civil ceremony (only true in some Mexican states), there's nothing to annul.

If you've actually married her in Mexico (marriage by a civil official), then getting it annulled in the US (or Mexico) after living with her for over five years is going to be very hard.

There are generally a half dozen or so reasons used to annul a marriage.

This lawyer lays out seven, none of which seem applicable in your situation. :

http://obelisk.hubpages.com/hub/7-Reasons-For-An-Annulment-Of-Marriage




commonbeck said:


2) Do we need to file some form of document like a pre-nup to protect assets?

For those who are not married and co-habitate, is there a protective document available for them? Again, at the end of the day people can change and I want to make sure I have some form of protection.
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But, you are married.

That's what I keep trying to tell you.

Your marriage is either legitimate, or a sham.

If you acquired a marriage license, and did the things required by Mexico to marry, that is a legal marriage.

This Mexican lawyer lays it out clearly.

Is this what you did to get married in Mexico (or some form of this process)?

http://www.mexicolaw.com/Marriage in Mexico.htm



Another discussion of marriage in Mexico:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/08/getting-married-in-mexico_n_1264026.html



There seems to be some confusion, and this is a complex and difficult topic.

I suggest you both meet with a family relations or general practitioner attorney.

These are questions you might want to go into some detail, before deciding what is best for you and your beloved.

Generally, the first meeting is offered free of charge.

That will help you determine what it is you want to do.

From what you said, you already have (albeit unintentionally), done enough for either of you (or, as you said a good attorney), to establish a case that you have lived in a common law marriage for five years.

There is no form that you can file, NOW, that will absolve you of the five years you've lived together.

That said, there is no form you could have filed (short of a pre-nup to protect certain assets) that you filed before you began housekeeping.

You also need to know, that if the Mexican marriage isn't a sham, it could be considered fraud, insofar as the school grants could be concerned.

That marriage may have solved some personal issues, but it could have possibly opened up some legal complications.

Again, you might wish to meet with an attorney and disclose EVERYTHING so that you can be properly advised.

At any rate, I wish you both much love, good health, and great happiness in the days ahead.

 
I doubt you can get this marriage annulled. Getting an annulment is not an easy process. If you divorce then you establish there was a marriage this is also likely if you seek annulment. You say you get along great (that's your perception) if this was true why did you need to appease her with sham marriage?
 
I'm getting the distinct feeling that one half of this couple wants marriage far more than the other party.

That aside? PRE NUP.

:)

Or post-nup if necessary.

Or you could look on the bright side - Texas has a cap on alimony (for the most part)
 
To answer some more of your questions:

We are 37 and 27 and been together for 6 years.
Yes, women usually want to get married more than men, but she also understands there is no advantage to us being married and therefor we are amicably discussing our alternatives.

To clear some more things up, this wedding in Mexico has yet to happen (mid March). According to the rules of that province, you must be there for 5 business days for the marriage to count as legal. Otherwise it is only a "show" wedding but still officiated by a civil official. They state to make it legit, we would then have to file documentation back in the US.

If this wedding does actually count, then maybe getting that annulment would be the best thing. According to the document you provided, an annulment can be done if #3 there is miscommunication about kids. IE: I want kids, she does not, or #6 that the marriage was mutual mistake of law. Why is that such a difficult task. Wouldn't said annulment prove the last 5 years we were not common law married, and also prove that we have no interest in getting married making it even difficult for a good lawyer to prove common law.

I agree that I need legal council, unfortunately I do not know where to turn. I doubt the phone book is a good place. BTW, I live in Houston
 
Oh, there's an advantage for her, believe me.

You get married in Mexico = you want to be married.
 
No, OP, the Yellow Pages isn't the best place to find a plumber, either.

A better place is ask your friends, family, co-workers, business associates, church members, civic and social clubs, and other people you know and trust; some have had legal needs and can recommend an attorney, just as we recommend a dentist, a psychologist, a mechanic, or car salesman.

You can also contact the Harris County Bar Association or the Texas State Bar for specific referrals.

You can then check the Texas State Bar Association website to see if the attorney has ever been disciplined.

http://www.texasbar.com/am/template.cfm?section=advanced_search
 
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