changing primary custody

[mwdwolf]

I have Joint Legal custody with my ex and she has primary physical custody. The decision was made in Virginia. I am currently in Japan. Visitation is stated that we have to split a roundtrip ticket for my daughter. Well do to the age of my daughter it is not possible to purchase one childs roundtrip ticket. We agreed that I would pay and bring her to Japan and she would come pick her up. Now it is time for the mother to pickup our daughter and she cant afford to. She has agreed to keep her here until she gets the money. The problem I have is our daughter is enrolled in school and the mother has very little contact with our daughter by her choice. Is their anything I can do to get the case reviewed and primary physical custody changed? It is almost like her mom has abandoned her over here? Any help would be appreciated

 

[irish223]

I have Joint Legal custody with my ex and she has primary physical custody. The decision was made in Virginia. I am currently in Japan. Visitation is stated that we have to split a roundtrip ticket for my daughter. Well do to the age of my daughter it is not possible to purchase one childs roundtrip ticket. We agreed that I would pay and bring her to Japan and she would come pick her up. Now it is time for the mother to pickup our daughter and she cant afford to. She has agreed to keep her here until she gets the money. The problem I have is our daughter is enrolled in school and the mother has very little contact with our daughter by her choice. Is their anything I can do to get the case reviewed and primary physical custody changed? It is almost like her mom has abandoned her over here? Any help would be appreciated

Are you in the military?
How old is your daughter?
How long has she been with you?
Does the mother work?
Is a round-trip ticket feasible on her earnings?
Are you saying the child is enrolled in school in VA?
How old is the custody/visitation order?

 

[mwdwolf]

Are you in the military? yes
How old is your daughter? 5
How long has she been with you? 2months
Does the mother work? yes
Is a round-trip ticket feasible on her earnings? yes, including me paying 500 for child support
Are you saying the child is enrolled in school in VA? No here in Japn
How old is the custody/visitation order? 5 months
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[ohiogranny]

You're saying mom has custody, but you've enrolled her in school? They let you do that?
And when mom gets the money, she's going to take her back to the US to go to school?
How is that good for your daughter? And she's just starting kindergarten?

You can't file in Japan if she's only been there for 2 months. Would mom agree to a change in custody?

 

[mwdwolf]

I know its not good for my daughter to start school hear and go thier. But I cant just let my daughter not go to school. I gave her mom plenty of time to get the money and come and get her and didnt find out thier was a problem until about a week ago. So she didnt give me much time to try and help. I know I cant file here but I was curious if I could file back in virginia again or if I would have to wait. Also I was curious if I could write a letter to the judges clerk and maybe get them to see the light and reverse the order. I tried to get mom to agree to change in custody and she states that she dont want to go against the court order.

 

[irish223]

Are you in the military? yes
How old is your daughter? 5
How long has she been with you? 2months
Does the mother work? yes
Is a round-trip ticket feasible on her earnings? yes, including me paying 500 for child support
Are you saying the child is enrolled in school in VA? No here in Japn
How old is the custody/visitation order? 5 months

I know its not good for my daughter to start school hear and go thier. But I cant just let my daughter not go to school. I gave her mom plenty of time to get the money and come and get her and didnt find out thier was a problem until about a week ago. So she didnt give me much time to try and help. I know I cant file here but I was curious if I could file back in virginia again or if I would have to wait. Also I was curious if I could write a letter to the judges clerk and maybe get them to see the light and reverse the order. I tried to get mom to agree to change in custody and she states that she dont want to go against the court order.

Are you eligible to use military transport to get back and forth to Virginia with your daughter? To be honest, I would have a hard time coming up with the money for a round trip ticket to Japan, and I make a decent salary. Isn't it about $3000? Plus, your child support is not intended to pay for airfare. It's to help provide the basic needs of your daughter, such as housing, food, clothing, daycare, etc.

I don't understand why you enrolled your child in school, unless it's part of a daycare program. At 5yo, she's only entering kindergarten, isn't she?

You will get nowhere with writing a letter to the court. If you want to change custody, you will have to file for a modification in Virginia. Since your order is so new, it may be denied outright. If not, you will have to show a substantial change in circumstance that affects the best interests of your daughter. I don't think you can claim that mom has abandoned the child if she truly cannot afford the airfare, and I don't think that argument would get you very far in court.

I also think that you will be in contempt if you do not return the chld to VA. Your court order only specified that you would split the child's airfare. Right now she's with you, so the burden of returning her is on you. This airfare issue is one thing that you may be able to change in your current order.

You need to speak with an attorney.