cannot cope with the crap

[vivettewallace]

I work for the county of which I reside and have done so for the past 7 yrs. Throughout these 7 yrs. I have had no problems. On our job we switch posts every year, so I have worked in evey one of our. buildings. I now work at the probation department. Here we detain probation violators at the request of their P.O. I have a partner that I got along very well with. He the male I am female. He worked at the facility before an trained me. He had me thinking that males detain males and female detain females. Starting in May I had P.O.s ask me if I counld detain anyone. I thought that strange due to the fact that is what I there for. I did detain said person walked them over to the holding area and my partner made a childish sound when I walked past him and did not assist me. Another time I went on a stand by for a PV who need a breathalizer and my partner showed up stepped in front of me and asked me could I run an errand for him. That meaning go away he was going to do my detainment. Another time he called our supervisor to help him recuff a prisoner right in front of me. I asked him why did you call I am standing right here? And it goes on and on. I have gone to my Doctor and he says that the situation is stressing me out. I have told my supervisor what I feel, the bad part about that is he is best friends with this partner of mine. Suggestions?

 

[muggsyj]

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!


You are clearly very upset about this situation and feel you are being down trodden over your work colleagues actions. It sounds like he is undermining your authority to do your job; it is so hard in this type of situation to get the point across sometimes, which is why you are feeling stressed and inadequate to deal with this situation. Maybe you should try discussing this with your work colleague and telling him how he is coming across to you. He maybe seeing a different angle to you and thinks the situation is ok. It is like when you have a best friend and they have annoying habits that you can't stand and that they are unaware they have.
You have two options as I see it,
1. Lay your cards on the table "with a professional approach" and say you want to see a change or you will consider moving to another department.
2. Maybe get the senior officer in charge to have a diplomatic "Quiet word in his ear". If this fails your "partner relationship" maybe at its end and ONE of you will have to give way and move to another department.
I can sympathise with your situation, but it is not legal advice you need. Only you have the ability to change this situation and try not to get too stressed.
I know it is easy for me to say as it is not my problem but you can sort this out and time will heal your burden.


Hope this gives you some ray of light in your dark hour of need. Keep your chin up and take care.

 

[vivettewallace]

thank you

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!


You are clearly very upset about this situation and feel you are being down trodden over your work colleagues actions. It sounds like he is undermining your authority to do your job; it is so hard in this type of situation to get the point across sometimes, which is why you are feeling stressed and inadequate to deal with this situation. Maybe you should try discussing this with your work colleague and telling him how he is coming across to you. He maybe seeing a different angle to you and thinks the situation is ok. It is like when you have a best friend and they have annoying habits that you can't stand and that they are unaware they have.
You have two options as I see it,
1. Lay your cards on the table "with a professional approach" and say you want to see a change or you will consider moving to another department.
2. Maybe get the senior officer in charge to have a diplomatic "Quiet word in his ear". If this fails your "partner relationship" maybe at its end and ONE of you will have to give way and move to another department.
I can sympathise with your situation, but it is not legal advice you need. Only you have the ability to change this situation and try not to get too stressed.
I know it is easy for me to say as it is not my problem but you can sort this out and time will heal your burden.


Hope this gives you some ray of light in your dark hour of need. Keep your chin up and take care.

Thank you for responding to me. I guess you are right the only thing is this guy never thinks he is wron. I will try your advice. take ,vivette

 

[muggsyj]

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!


You are welcome and we all hope it works out for the best. Take care and let us all know how you get on.



Mark.

 

[vivettewallace]

follow up

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!


You are welcome and we all hope it works out for the best. Take care and let us all know how you get on.



Mark.

I went in to work the day after I posted my problem and asked my supervisor if he was going sit down and discuss with me what was going on. He said if you want to talk we can talk. I said you told me that you would discuss this matter when I returned to work. He said if you want to talk we can. The whole workday passed and nothing happened. The next day I called my Union Representative and explained this. Next thing I knew the Sgt. was calling me and saying that at 1200pm we were going down to our headquaters to discuss the situaton. My Representative and I, he Sgt. and both of our Lts. were there. They asked what was going on I told them. Basically they tried very hard to sweep the situation under the rug. This is when I got mad. They sat up took notice and requested that my partner come down as well. He arrived and stated that he di not have a problem with me nor my work performance. I turned and asked him then why did you change? He started to stutter. Thats when I had him. He knows that I am very capable of doing my job. He just wants to control everything and everyone this one wont be controlled. The bottom line here is all supervision had to say was for the both of us to act professional and work together as we did before the crap started. As I told them I only have 6 months remaing at this post so I want them to go smoothly until that point. All has been going well for now . Lets just hope this is the end of the crap.. Thank you for your interest in my situation.

 

[muggsyj]

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!


Wow, you got mad! I thought you were going to remain calm?
Never mind, we all have to deal with things in our own way, as long as you feel you did the right thing that's all that matters.

I hope it is all off your chest now and you can go about your day feelling ok, instead of depressed. I am sure in time things will all be back to normal and at least people know now where you draw the line.
I feel it is a shame though that people have to push you in to a corner before you release that emotion that you build up. You should always try and be fair but firm with anyone you are dealing with. It sounds like you allow people to take your kindness as a weekness.

This is purley just an obsevation of the conversation thus far, please do not feel i am trying to judge you. There are nicer things to come in life that are not so serious, so go treat yourself to some indulgance in a nice tub of ice cream and a sad film.

Keep your chin up!

Yours truly

Mark.

 

[vivettewallace]

two months later

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!


Wow, you got mad! I thought you were going to remain calm?
Never mind, we all have to deal with things in our own way, as long as you feel you did the right thing that's all that matters.

I hope it is all off your chest now and you can go about your day feelling ok, instead of depressed. I am sure in time things will all be back to normal and at least people know now where you draw the line.
I feel it is a shame though that people have to push you in to a corner before you release that emotion that you build up. You should always try and be fair but firm with anyone you are dealing with. It sounds like you allow people to take your kindness as a weekness.

This is purley just an obsevation of the conversation thus far, please do not feel i am trying to judge you. There are nicer things to come in life that are not so serious, so go treat yourself to some indulgance in a nice tub of ice cream and a sad film.

Keep your chin up!

Yours truly

Mark.

Just to bring you up to date on my situation. The other day one of the po's on my side walked up to me at 225pm and said that the probationer with him was to be detained until he heard back from the judge. I said ok and took him to the holding area where my partner being a male frisked him and secured him to the holding bench. I stood by as normal did all the paper work and went on my way. At 315pm my supervisor called me and said that he had a complaint lodged against me. I asked the nature of the complaint he said the aforementioned po stated that when he came to my area that i was on my cellphone and told him to go get my partner and continued to talk on the phone. This is a blatant lie I performed duties of post. This po and my partner are buddies and consistantly try to make my job harder. The union says that I shouldnt do anything now because its 2 or 3 against my one and I cant possibly win. Help.