can stepdad get rights over german citizen 13yr without mothers consen

[ULMERSPATZ]

My daughter and I are both german citizens. I want to move back to germany in march with her. Suddenly she's not excited about this move anymore and wants the american family court allowing her to stay with her stepdad. Can SHE really do that without my consent? Bio father is german and on the birth certificate and still has contact with the both of us.

 

[army judge]

My daughter and I are both german citizens. I want to move back to germany in march with her. Suddenly she's not excited about this move anymore and wants the american family court allowing her to stay with her stepdad. Can SHE really do that without my consent? Bio father is german and on the birth certificate and still has contact with the both of us.

A German court ruling means very little in the Us, and vice versa.

That said, how do you propose getting her back to Deutschland?

Is bio-dad in Deutschland?

Does baby have a passport?

Is there currently a US court order? What does it decree?

Is there a German court order?

Have you spoken with the German Embassy?

Why would any court listen to the stepdad?

The child has no say. Why do you feel the court (what court?) is listening to the child?

 

[Proserpina]

Absolutely not.

The ONLY person who can rock the boat is her legal father.

StepDad has absolutely no chance of stopping you, and your child has absolutely no choice in this.

 

[Betty3]

There is no way that the court would allow the 13 year old to remain here with stepdad even if that is what she & stepdad wants. She is too young to make that decision & stepdad doesn't have the authority to make the decision.

 

[Proserpina]

To reiterate and perhaps avoid confusion:

There is, at the moment, absolutely nothing preventing Mom and child from leaving on the first flight to Berlin.

If BioDad doesn't want her to take the child, only he can file something to prevent the child from relocating.

Stepdad's wishes are completely irrelevant. And realistically, the child's wishes are irrelevant.

The only time the child's wishes would come into play is during a custody matter involving Mom & Dad, not Mom & Stepdad.

 

[ULMERSPATZ]

Yes! Daughter has German passport. Yes! Bio dad lives in Germany. There is NO court order here in the US. Stepdad wants to get one though! Based on the grounds that he's been involved in child's life for the last 10 yrs. HE took her green card away but I'm having my daughters passport. He said Wisconsin law would allow my daughter to stay based on the "best Intresed of the child". Yes! Ive talked to the German embassy. They told me since his name is NOT on the BC I should b ok. And since she was born in Germany the German law would rule over the US law. But stepdad said the day I want to leave he would take my daughter in front of judge so she can convince the judge that he should let her stay. Reason....relocation will harm the child and she would b separated from her other siblings! Im just really worried that they might stand a chance doing this. Any advise plz? I have more info if necessary.

 

[Betty3]

I don't see the stepdad's wishes/reasons or the child's wishes/reasons for staying are going to come into play here. I believe your chances of leaving with her are much better than their chances (if there are even any) of her staying.

 

[army judge]

Yes! Daughter has German passport. Yes! Bio dad lives in Germany. There is NO court order here in the US. Stepdad wants to get one though! Based on the grounds that he's been involved in child's life for the last 10 yrs. HE took her green card away but I'm having my daughters passport. He said Wisconsin law would allow my daughter to stay based on the "best Intresed of the child". Yes! Ive talked to the German embassy. They told me since his name is NOT on the BC I should b ok. And since she was born in Germany the German law would rule over the US law. But stepdad said the day I want to leave he would take my daughter in front of judge so she can convince the judge that he should let her stay. Reason....relocation will harm the child and she would b separated from her other siblings! Im just really worried that they might stand a chance doing this. Any advise plz? I have more info if necessary.

I suggest you make your travel arrangements and keep them to yourself. Don't even tell the child. When the time comes to leave, just go. Don't worry about packing a bunch of stuff. Pack light a day or two ahead, or ship some stuff.

Take child to store, mall, etc... Don't tell child until you're walking in the airport. Take cell phone away from kid, or deactivate it to shut down at certain time, or hide it. Your goal, get on the plane, get gone.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes! Daughter has German passport. Yes! Bio dad lives in Germany. There is NO court order here in the US. Stepdad wants to get one though! Based on the grounds that he's been involved in child's life for the last 10 yrs. HE took her green card away but I'm having my daughters passport. He said Wisconsin law would allow my daughter to stay based on the "best Intresed of the child". Yes! Ive talked to the German embassy. They told me since his name is NOT on the BC I should b ok. And since she was born in Germany the German law would rule over the US law. But stepdad said the day I want to leave he would take my daughter in front of judge so she can convince the judge that he should let her stay. Reason....relocation will harm the child and she would b separated from her other siblings! Im just really worried that they might stand a chance doing this. Any advise plz? I have more info if necessary.

Okay hon. Please listen to me.

Stepdad can't even FILE anything with the court. He doesn't have "standing" to do so.

He WILL NOT WIN.

There is absolutely NO CHANCE he can stop you from taking your child back to Germany.

Do you have any way of completely staying away of him until March? You need to stop all contact if possible. No calls or texts.

Can you move your leaving date forward?

 

[ULMERSPATZ]

First of all I want to thank everyone on here for the helpful answers. NOW...no, I can not go anywhere else til March. My daughter once again told me that she's not going to Germany with me. I'm still very worried about them filing a petition. Supposedly her stepdad does have a chance... I was married to him back in Germany and got a divorce over there. When I got pregnant we were already seperated and he was already living in the US again. I can't make a big secret about move cuz I've filed taxes "single" this time. So....he kinda figured it out. I am SOOOO scared rite now that I might have to leave my daughter here. It seems very impossible that a Judge would rule in HER favor . But I've heard so many horrible stories about child custody over here....I just don't know on what to believe anymore . Again....I appreciate any answer/advise from u guys. So plz, if u know anything ...would b really helpful. Thank u!!

 

[Proserpina]

Here's the thing.

If Germany recognizes stepparent rights, he must file in Germany to exercise those rights AND he would need to sue your child's father too.

If Germany does not recognize stepparent rights, then he has nothing. Still.

May I ask who is telling you all of this nonsense?

 

[Betty3]

I think you are over worrying here. You most likely will leave with your child & there will be no problem.

 

[ULMERSPATZ]

Germany does NOT recognize stepparent . Already spoke to the CPS over there. But one Lawyer here in Wisconsin told me that he had a similar case a few yrs ago and the child was granted to remain here. He also said that if my daughter is NOT an American citizen then she will NOT have presumption on her side . I don't even know what that means exactly. And my soon to be X keeps telling me that my daughter will be heard by a judge and that HE will be able to keep her and all that I would get will be visitation rights. I'm sorry, but I can't help being so worried . Unfortunately I don't have all this money to hire a Lawyer. And on the other hand, I never thought I'd needed one. May I ask if u guys are Law Students? You seem to know a whole lot about this matter.

 

[Proserpina]

Does she have dual citizenship?

 

[Proserpina]

Afterthought: which US state is involved?

 

[army judge]

Que sera sera​

When I was just a little boy
I asked my mother, "What will I be?
Will I be handsome, will I be rich?"
Here's what she said to me

"Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be"

When I grew up, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart, "What lies ahead?
Will we have rainbows, day after day?"
Here's what my sweetheart said

"Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be"

Now I have children of my own
They ask their father, "What will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich?"
I tell them tenderly

"Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be"




​

 

[ULMERSPATZ]

No. She is German citizen. She has a German passport . Well, and a green card. US STATE is Wisconsin

 

[ULMERSPATZ]

@ army judge.... Why those lyrics ??

 

[disagreeable]

If you have her passport and she is not a US citizen, put her on a plane and leave before it gets complicated.

 

[Proserpina]

Excellent. I hope this makes you relax a little.

Your child is not a US citizen.

You are obviously not unfit.

Your ex is what's called a "legal stranger". He is not your child's father either legally or biologically.

This is directly from Wisconsin:

In a custody dispute between a parent and a 3rd party, unless the court finds that the parent is unfit or unable to care for the child, or that there are compelling reasons for denying custody to the parent, the court must grant custody to the parent. Barstad v. Frazier, 118 Wis. 2d 549, 348 N.W.2d 479 (1984).

And to expand a little:

Even more rare than third party visitation is third party custody and placement, but the court is empowered to do this by statute. The rule is essentially as follows: If the interest of any child demands it, and if the court finds that neither parent is able to care for the child adequately or that neither parent is fit and proper to have the care and custody of the child, the court may declare the child to be in need of protection or services and transfer legal custody to a relative or agency.

Third party placement sometimes occurs when the parents have had difficulties in life and have allowed relatives to care for the children, and then when the parents seek divorce the relatives step in seek custody and placement. When this occurs, the appropriate standard which the court uses to decide the issue is known as the Barstad standard after the case of Barstad v. Frazier, 118 W2d 549, 348 NW2d 479 (1984), in which the standard was articulated. In recognition of the strong preference for parental custody required by constitutional law, the Barstad standard says that custody shall be awarded to a parent unless both parents are either unfit or unable to care for the children or there are compelling reasons for awarding custody to a third party. Compelling reasons include abandonment, persistent neglect of parental responsibilities, extended disruption of parental custody, or other similar extraordinary circumstances that would drastically affect the welfare of the child. If the court finds such compelling reasons, it may award custody to a third party if the best interests of the children would be promoted thereby.

None of these apply to you. But even if they did, your ex STILL can't keep your daughter, and the very second she's back in Germany, it's a done deal.