New Brunswick, Canada
My brother separated from his girlfriend of seven-eight years last fall. When they met she had a 1yo daughter, now nine (my niece). They had a son together, now six. The biological father of her daughter has never been in the picture - my brother is the only father she has ever known.
It has been a rough road for all of them since the separation and it shows in the kids as they are always present and put in the middle of any arguments. My niece being older and understanding more is impacted by it more. Her and I have always been very close, I am her confidant and I am her rescue when her parents fight. Yesterday was her birthday and instead of it being a happy day for her it was a day of terror watching and hearing her parents yelling at each other - she was in tears when I had to leave last night; Matter of fact she's always upset when I leave wishing she could just stay with me.
Both my brother and his ex have now been in new relationships for quite some time now. He split up with his current girlfriend for a period of a couple months and considered trying to go back to his ex if she would have him. Things looked like they were going to go that way but turns out she was already pregnant with her current boyfriends child and was just leading my brother on for money. So that caused all kinds of chaos again and now there's all kinds of accusations and threats, etc., and he has gone back to his new girlfriend.
Neither my brother nor my "ex sister-in-law" we'll call her, are fit to be parents right now. The kids come last in everything be it doing stuff with them, providing and taking care of them sufficiently - my niece has gone days without a bath and it showed when she came to stay with me one night (I of course bathed her). My brother focuses on smoking pot and spending time with his girlfriend more than the kids (though he is doing more with them to try and win them over) and their mother is pretty much an alcoholic and so is her boyfriend - I've gone there and seen an empty fridge and four "2-4" cases of beer + wine sitting next to it. I went there one night and yes I check things out to see how they're holding up and the fridge was empty, cupboards empty, case of beer next to the fridge. I went back a few nights later and fridge and cupboards still empty and now four cases of beer + other liquor.
I won't say it's full on neglect, they're just not putting priorities first.
Tonight was probably the worst night and my brother was furious over probably nothing. It's a matter of time before things start to come crashing down and the kids are going to bare the worst of it. If things do go down, I won't protect my brother nor the kids mother for anything. They don't act like parents, admittedly never wanted to be parents so I can't stand by and watch them do that to the kids, even though they love both sides.
My fear is that children's aid or CPS will eventually be involved. I don't know the methods or routines they follow but the kids will be probably be removed correct? Where will they go? Would I have any chance of taking custody of them permanently or at least temporarily until things are worked out? Would I have to submit some form of application to do so? I can't imagine the kids being comfortable staying with anyone other than me, especially my niece, she's very sensitive and shy to where she stays even when she spends the weekends with her dad at his girlfriends which it's been months and she's still not comfortable.
So what do I do? I want the best for the kids but I'd love to see my brother and his ex work things out and being civil with each other. I don't like to interfere but I won't see the kids suffer this way.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
My brother separated from his girlfriend of seven-eight years last fall. When they met she had a 1yo daughter, now nine (my niece). They had a son together, now six. The biological father of her daughter has never been in the picture - my brother is the only father she has ever known.
It has been a rough road for all of them since the separation and it shows in the kids as they are always present and put in the middle of any arguments. My niece being older and understanding more is impacted by it more. Her and I have always been very close, I am her confidant and I am her rescue when her parents fight. Yesterday was her birthday and instead of it being a happy day for her it was a day of terror watching and hearing her parents yelling at each other - she was in tears when I had to leave last night; Matter of fact she's always upset when I leave wishing she could just stay with me.
Both my brother and his ex have now been in new relationships for quite some time now. He split up with his current girlfriend for a period of a couple months and considered trying to go back to his ex if she would have him. Things looked like they were going to go that way but turns out she was already pregnant with her current boyfriends child and was just leading my brother on for money. So that caused all kinds of chaos again and now there's all kinds of accusations and threats, etc., and he has gone back to his new girlfriend.
Neither my brother nor my "ex sister-in-law" we'll call her, are fit to be parents right now. The kids come last in everything be it doing stuff with them, providing and taking care of them sufficiently - my niece has gone days without a bath and it showed when she came to stay with me one night (I of course bathed her). My brother focuses on smoking pot and spending time with his girlfriend more than the kids (though he is doing more with them to try and win them over) and their mother is pretty much an alcoholic and so is her boyfriend - I've gone there and seen an empty fridge and four "2-4" cases of beer + wine sitting next to it. I went there one night and yes I check things out to see how they're holding up and the fridge was empty, cupboards empty, case of beer next to the fridge. I went back a few nights later and fridge and cupboards still empty and now four cases of beer + other liquor.
I won't say it's full on neglect, they're just not putting priorities first.
Tonight was probably the worst night and my brother was furious over probably nothing. It's a matter of time before things start to come crashing down and the kids are going to bare the worst of it. If things do go down, I won't protect my brother nor the kids mother for anything. They don't act like parents, admittedly never wanted to be parents so I can't stand by and watch them do that to the kids, even though they love both sides.
My fear is that children's aid or CPS will eventually be involved. I don't know the methods or routines they follow but the kids will be probably be removed correct? Where will they go? Would I have any chance of taking custody of them permanently or at least temporarily until things are worked out? Would I have to submit some form of application to do so? I can't imagine the kids being comfortable staying with anyone other than me, especially my niece, she's very sensitive and shy to where she stays even when she spends the weekends with her dad at his girlfriends which it's been months and she's still not comfortable.
So what do I do? I want the best for the kids but I'd love to see my brother and his ex work things out and being civil with each other. I don't like to interfere but I won't see the kids suffer this way.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
