Bit of a Pickle

[MrLeishy]

Hello,

Thank you for reading,

Me and my ex were together for around 4 years and we have a daughter of 18 months, we also have a property together which has only about £6,000 equity.

She is the ideal partner and shes really good with our daughter but I told her that I didnt love her and since then she has been bitter about it.

When we split we both loved the house but to save trouble we agreed that her parents would take on the property as she doesnt have a job and to save uprouting our daughter and I would give the property to her as there was only around £6000 equity.

She decided that she cant live with someone who doesnt love her, I really didnt want to leave but her dad "talked me into it" not physically but very threatening way (maybe i should of got the police involved? i dont know, i just didnt want any hastle), since then I have been living at my mothers which I shouldnt be because she can get into trouble with the council but I have nowhere else to go, could say im homeless?

Anyway it has got to the point now where she has told her farther that I shout at my daughter which I would never do, I love her to bits. I think shes using this to get at me because she knows it hurts when my daughter is involved.

I still have loads of things at the house such as my business documents and she said I can arrange a time to come get them but I know her dad will be there, same as when I arrange to see my daughter so Im a bit scared to go...

We do have an agreement that from next month I will pay half of the mortgage until it is changed out of my name but up until now I have paid all the mortgage and all bills.

Where should I go from here, what should I do?

Thank you again, Richard

 

[redhed1968]

my 2 cents

It sounds from your post your concerns are your afraid to go over to the house.. it might be best if you arrange with them for no one to be home when you go there to avoid any confrontations. They should be mature enough to leave. You have the right to go over and get your items. Nonetheless, I would just go and get it over with and bring someone with you in case they do or say something, theres a witness. Very shortly your name will be off the home and you will have no ties to the house so thats one thing off your plate. As far as the personal issues go, a mediator might help with the verbal bashing and hard feelings going on, and/or maybe she (or both of you) may choose to see a professional (together or separate) to talk to and learn how to work thru the pain and loss that comes with the end of a marriage. Its a huge thing, divorce. And it hurts, especially since one partner didnt want it to end. Otherwise, the animosity will cause problems will continue and will eventually affect your child, believe me. Good luck.

 

[MrLeishy]

I dont think she would leave the house while I get my stuff as she will probably think I will take some of her stuff even though I wouldnt, infact giving her my half to things like plasma tv, freeview recorder, etc as my daughter watches her childrens programmes...

I have arranged for the police to visit the property with me to get my stuff and I have also arranged an appointment with a Solicitor tomorrow.

It is always good to get views from a 3rd person who isnt involved, thank you very much.

 

[redhed1968]

It sounds to me like her behavior, i.e. making things difficult for you is her hurt speaking. Im sure you will see that more than once. Especially when she finds out you have a girlfriend (when you do eventually have one). I hope she gets help and finds peace in herself. Its hard, been there. Having the police there is a good idea. What is a solicitor by the way?