at my wits end

[sam123]

Have been married for 15 years and found out 9 months ago husband has been having an affair. We own an investment property that he has been staying in for the last several months saying he is doing renovations (except for 2 months during the summer when he stayed at home. Would this qualify as us living apart in order for him to file for divorce on those grounds, once a year has passed, or would he have to prove that his intentions were to separate. I am hoping to prolong this in the hopes of removing his mistress from our lives. Even if we end in divorce my concern is that this woman who is 20 years his junior will try to push herself into our childrens lives before they have even had a chance to come to terms with their parents divorce. Is there anyway of restricting her access during his visitation with them at least until a reasonable adjustment period has passed. I am concerned he has already allowed her to move in and our children will be subjected to overnight visits with their father and his new girlfriend before the divorce is even final. Would it be possible for me to suggest that his overnight visits take place at our home and that I would stay elsewhere during those times. How likely would it be that this type of arrangement would be granted. I want our children to have a healthy and respectful relationship with their father in spite of what he has done, but I don' t know how that would be possible if they found out their father has been having an affair. They are old enough to put 2 and 2 together if the other woman is introduced to early. Also, if I decide to file is there any benefit in naming the third party if I file on the grounds of adultery

 

[Duranie]

What state are you in? Most states have no fault divorces, so grounds are not necessary unless you are in a state that has grounds. I understand your concerns about this new woman, certainly Dad should not be bringing her around the kids this soon but there may be nothing you can do to stop it. You should see an attorney. You can certainly ask that neither parent have any non related people sleep over, but restricting her access totally to the kids might be a little hard, but you can try.

 

[garykittrell68]

Any way you look at it.......DIVORCE IS NASTY........I always said that the person you fall head over heels in love with is not the same person you will divorce. The rights you have will vary depending on the state you are in. You need an attorney that can help you get a custody, and visitation schedule. perhaps you can sugest counseling for your children as a way to slowly introduce the changes your children will endure. Try to stay focused on "whats in the childrens best intrests" The court don't care about whats in your or his best intrests........Just the kids........