Am I an internet stalker?

[jocada]

My brother in law (28) is a youth pastor. As such he created a christian teen forum. I have participated on this forum for roughly a year. My participation has been to offer differing points of view on christian subjects as well as basic interaction with the teens through forum games, etc. I am fully represented on the site as the youth pastor's brother in law, a 32 yr old married man.

Within the last 3 months there have been three teen users which are the most active. One male and two female members all approximately 15/16. I have interacted through the forums with them extensively and recently have chatted with them through Instant Messaging. In retrospect I can see how this could look odd.

Yesterday I received a message stating that it was one of the female teen's parent. Unfortunately I did not save it, but it basically stated something to the effect that I was an internet stalker who liked talking to young girls on the internet and offering them emotional support. That he would be attempting to prosecute me for internet stalking and to stop talking to stalking his daughter.

While the implications offend me and my first desire was to respond and set him straight, I can definately understand his protective nature and choose not to respond at all. I never sought out his daughter nor will I now. The only thing I plan to do differently is to not respond to any communication from her. I initially wanted to respond to the accusations but after thinking about the tone from the father I do not believe it would be accepted well, regardless of anything I might say. I feel like he would take it as a challenge. Quite frankly, I will not be participating on the website forum for fear of misunderstanding.

I was never inappropriate and was being more of a mentor through a christian site. Although now after having been accused I can certainly see that if the situation is simply described as a 32 yr old man talking to a 15 yr old girl, it can be quickly assumed to have very questionable connotations.

My question is am I a stalker simply due to the age difference? How much should I worry about being dragged though some sort of legal or criminal situation? What steps should I take from this point?

 

[NYClex]

I can very much understand your position, because I myself for many years have worked in Christian youth groups and what seemed harmless then nowadays might raise concerns. Times have changed. As a father of a daughter I myself would see things differently now.

Yet, it is important not to create an environment where people never learn to trust or to help others. This is the tricky task nowadays.

Now to your legal question.

This is the stalking law in California: http://www.wiredsafety.org/cyberstalking_harassment/us_states/california.html

If you look closely you will see that usually some kind of malicious intent is required. So your conduct would probably not fall under any of these provisions. Most states have similar provisions.

However, I would suggest you look seriously at the implications of your work at the website and talk it through with those responsible for the youth group. There might be grave civil liability issues here they are facing. I would not participate in that work unless the sponsoring organization makes this somewhat "official". Here in NY for example volunteer adult workers in youth groups very often have to undergo background checks by the church and then will be "officially" installed as such workers so that the parents can be assured that the church did perform those background checks and have checked the volunteer's character.

It is sad that out society has come to this point, but that is how it is.