I have a 13 yo daughter who will be 14 in a few months. Her dad and I have court orders for the standard visitation, we were never married. We have followed those orders until a few years ago, possibly 4 years. SHe would see him and they would visit on the phone once or twice a week- I would say they had a pretty good relationship. He is married and has 3 other girls. The last time he saw our daughter for more than 20 minutes was in August. We live approx. 75 miles apart and he hasn't made one effort to come adn see her. He made 2 of her basketball games that he saw her for maybe 20 minutes. He and his wife will call and ask her if she would like to come see them and she tells them she has plans or is busy. He has always left it at that. SHe was supposed to go see them at Christmas but got a Text message from her step mom telling her that she couldn't stay with them if she came. Her dad didn't know anything about this. From that point on she hasn't felt comfortable in going to see her dad, he hasn't pushed the issue nor has he MADE any effort to come see her at all. That is until Sunday he text my daughter and told her that she WOULD be at every visitation, every Holiday that is is and one month in the summer. She told him she would not and he couldn't make her. She is very upset and has told him the reasons why. I have never kept her dad from her and I have encouraged her to see him. She gets physically ill when she has to go. Vomiting, diarhea and crying. She does want to see her dad but she doesn't want to be forced to go if she doesn't want to. I hear many different things about when the child gets to a certain age they can tell the other parent they don't want to go and it not be something that needs to be taken to court. I do believe she needs to see her dad and have that relationship but there is something that mkes her not want to go and makes her sick! What do I do???? Can she tell him NO and he still make her go? Like physically put her in the car?
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Age that a teenager doesn't have to go to all visits
- Thread Starter mytwokids
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I moved. I moved because I got married. We haven't lived in teh same town for 9 years and for the first 4 years we followed the orders then agreed that he would see her when he could because of his work and his wife wouldn't always watch her or meet me on his weekends so the visits got fewer and fewer and when my daughter would call and tell her dad that she wanted to visit, 90% of the time has a reason that he is busy working or that one of his other kids are sick. Her feelings are hurt that he hasn't seen her in a little over 6 months. I believe that if he meets me to pick her up and she says I don't want to go and he doesn't make her go, am I in contempt? He told her last night that he would leave her alone because she kept asking why he was forcing her? I told him and my daughter that I would take her to see him this weekend if she wanted. I have no problems with that at all, but I do have a problem when she gets sick over it and it starts affecting her school work and she gets depressed. Maybe she should seek counseling???
And she doesn't want the visits stopped she just doesn't want to go all the time. She says she feels like a guest and she has to sleep on the floor or the couch, her dad says that this problem as been fixed and her dad told me that when his wife gets mad at him she uses his daughter against him and says ugly things to my daughter.
And she doesn't want the visits stopped she just doesn't want to go all the time. She says she feels like a guest and she has to sleep on the floor or the couch, her dad says that this problem as been fixed and her dad told me that when his wife gets mad at him she uses his daughter against him and says ugly things to my daughter.
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cbg
Super Moderator
The age at which she can decide that she does not want to visit her dad as ordered by the court is the earlier of the following:
1.) The date on which the court says she no longer needs to go unless she wants to
2.) The date on which she reaches the age of majority (which is 18 in most states - there is no state where it is younger; there are a couple of states where it is older)
1.) The date on which the court says she no longer needs to go unless she wants to
2.) The date on which she reaches the age of majority (which is 18 in most states - there is no state where it is younger; there are a couple of states where it is older)
cbg
Super Moderator
No, you could just tell her that she has to go, period.
If you want the visitation order changed, you have to go back to court, yes. There is no guarantee that the judge will agree to change it, however.
If you want the visitation order changed, you have to go back to court, yes. There is no guarantee that the judge will agree to change it, however.
You are the one that moved so regardless of fault, you are partially responsible for the deteriorating relationship. Of course he doesn't see her much because you created the distance. Your post makes it sound like it is totally his fault he has not seen her. At the very minimum you should be providing 50% of transportation for visits, is that happening?
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