abscentparent threats..14 yrs. later!!!

[mandie93]

My jurisdiction is: New York

i was married and divorced at a young age. my ex and i had a son. long story short i moved to ny with our son as he went to nc and started a new life. for months if not longer i went without support after finally establishing thru courts it was a hit or miss on if i would get it. yrs later and over $12000 in arears added up, that was the only thing i had gotten from him was the court ordered support.

there has been no contact for more than 10yrs

. i met someone new and we have a family, been together for about 13 yrs. never married but none the less a family. he is the only father my son knows and that has been there for him, because i never heard from ex i never told my son that the man he calls dad is not biologically. (i know stupid!!) i knew one day he would probably have to be told but it just made my heart ache to even think about it. Anyway, my sone is now 14, and i just recieved an email from biological father thru facebook!!! when i told him that son wanted nothing to do with him at this time and i would let him know if that changed in future, the smug response back was thanx anyway papers already filed. so my questions are,

what can he do??? can i still file abandonment?? would a court side with him?? what can happen?? what should i do?? i have left messages with several lawyers who havent returned my call yet, i need answers now!! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!

 

[Rushia]

As the child's father he can file for visitation.

Now that he has filed (if indeed he has) you probably won't get him for abandonment. The courts probably would not allow your BF to adopt anyway as many judges prefer that a long term MARRIAGE is in place before hand. Judges like to see commitment.

The courts will side with the child. The father does have constitutionally protected rights to be a parent. The court could find that it is the child's best interests to get to know his father and have visitation with him.

He will probably get small supervised visits at first so that the child will get to know him and it will increase from there.

You should probably talk with your son so he will understand what's going to happen. On a personal note, I'd advise therapy for your son as he may have difficulty understanding that the man you portrayed as his father is not. Please don't perceive this as some kind of personal insult, it's just that the courts usually frown upon people who present another person as the child's parent when they are not.

 

[Duranie]

The courts will not always side with the child and there is no constitutional rights to being a parent. This man still has rights to the child. Unless his rights have been terminated and your husband has adopted, he has rights. He is free to pursue visits through the courts, or you can ask him and see if he is willing to terminate rights and your husband adopt. So until you are actually served papers, ignore Dad for now. Dad could just be playing you.

 

[Rushia]

The courts will not always side with the child and there is no constitutional rights to being a parent. This man still has rights to the child. Unless his rights have been terminated and your husband has adopted, he has rights. He is free to pursue visits through the courts, or you can ask him and see if he is willing to terminate rights and your husband adopt. So until you are actually served papers, ignore Dad for now. Dad could just be playing you.

Should worded that better, I meant the courts will determine the best interests of the child. Saying it the way I did implies that the child will have a say and the court would rule on the wishes of the child. Thank you for correcting me.

OP is not married and NY likes to see a year of marriage before allowing a stepparent adoption.