A mom wanting to protect her child.

[babyblue114]

I was with my ex for 3 years and we had a child together towards the end of our relationship. We have tried off and on to work things out and we end up worse than we were. He can be very moody. He does go to counseling when he feels like it and is suppose to be on medication. He also uses drugs in his free time. The type of people he hangs out with have had their children taken away due to abuse and neglect and I fear for my son if he takes him. Our son is only 10 months old right now. There is no custody or child support ordered. I do not have money to get a lawyer. My ex has only used one of the visits that we agreed upon. He has another child with his ex and he gets him every other weekend. There were times that that child had to eat off of dirty dishes and he plays the playstation all weekend while his dad is playing music or partying. I do not know what to do or where to turn. My ex can turn on me in a split second. His moods can show great deal of anger. I'm afraid to stop him from seeing our son but I am afraid to let him take him.

 

[irish223]

I was with my ex for 3 years and we had a child together towards the end of our relationship. We have tried off and on to work things out and we end up worse than we were. He can be very moody. He does go to counseling when he feels like it and is suppose to be on medication. He also uses drugs in his free time. The type of people he hangs out with have had their children taken away due to abuse and neglect and I fear for my son if he takes him. Our son is only 10 months old right now. There is no custody or child support ordered. I do not have money to get a lawyer. My ex has only used one of the visits that we agreed upon. He has another child with his ex and he gets him every other weekend. There were times that that child had to eat off of dirty dishes and he plays the playstation all weekend while his dad is playing music or partying. I do not know what to do or where to turn. My ex can turn on me in a split second. His moods can show great deal of anger. I'm afraid to stop him from seeing our son but I am afraid to let him take him.

The father is entitled to a relationship with his son. If paternity has been legally established, then he can simply file for joint custody or visitation, and he will certainly get it.

Depending on your state, he may or may not need court orders in order to be entitled to visitation.

Since you know so much about his previous parenting and living conditions, it seems apparent that you chose him to be the father of your child in spite of it. Consequently, it will be difficult for you to prove that he is now a danger to the child.

 

[babyblue114]

These actions did not start until a month before we split up. I gave him a chance to change and he would not. He continued to go down hill. He was not like this for the 3 years we were together that is why I am worried now. If he would change back to the person he was before the drug useage and other things I would not have such worries about my son. That is why I am asking what I can do and for any advice. Thank you for your reply. I do appreciate the feed back.

 

[Duranie]

Well the truth is he is dad and actually you have NO evidence he is a danger to the baby. What his friends do does not matter they are not involved. You can certainly file for child support and custody but dad will likely get visits. You can argue that you want supervised, you may or may not get them. I highly doubt all this bad behavior just started up. You chose him to father your child so he was good enough.

Good luck

 

[babyblue114]

He started changing from the man I knew and loved to this when I was 4 months pregnant and I left him. We tried to work things out since then several times and he wouldn't change. His behavior didn't change over night. I found I was pregnant at 6 weeks and 3 days along I left him when I was 4 months along trying to give him time to change. When he raised his hand to me was when I left. He was never like this. I thought this place was where you could ask legal questions and get advice and answers. But thank you anyways I will find another way to get advice.

 

[irish223]

You have received answers and advice. Based on your post, it will be difficult to prove that the father is a danger to the child. If you feel that you can prove that he is a danger, then you can request supervised visitation.