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WVgal

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West Virginia
After ending an online relationship I have been defamed, harassed, publically humiliated..it goes on and on. This man continually contacts my family, my friends, my workplace. He has even sent pictures of me to them that were private. I've asked him to stop, but he refuses. Continually posting on Facebook about me, sending things thru the mail, ect. Is there anything that can be done to stop this? It has mentally brought me down. Please help if you can. Thank you.
 
Look in to obtaining a restraining order.
If you obtain an order against him and he violates that order he can be arrested every time.
A judge will have to decide if your reasons for wanting a restraining order are justified.
 
mightymoose said:
Look in to obtaining a restraining order.
If you obtain an order against him and he violates that order he can be arrested every time.
A judge will have to decide if your reasons for wanting a restraining order are justified.
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Thank you. He lives in a different state than I do, and went as far as flying here. I didn't even know he was in my area till after he went back home. He doesn't know anyone here, so his motive is very scary to me.
 
WVgal said:
Thank you. He lives in a different state than I do, and went as far as flying here. I didn't even know he was in my area till after he went back home. He doesn't know anyone here, so his motive is very scary to me.
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If he doesn't reside in your state, a restraining order isn't viable or practical.

Even if he and you reside in the same state, restraining orders rarely achieve the protection people are seeking.

I'm sure you've read about a person having an active restraining order and ended up being killed, raped, or assaulted by the person that was supposed to have obeyed the order.

That's the problem with restraining orders, they require the abuser's compliance with the order.

Miscreants and mentally deranged folk aren't wired to understand what behavior is expected of an adult.

People who do what the one is doing to you don't usually obey anything or anyone, except their misguided moral compasses.

You'll find that vermin will disappear if you IGNORE their childish antics.

Scum like the one you describe take delight and pleasure in taunting, harassing, and abusing others.

Imagine the little worm giggling with delight in his soiled underwear, giggling like a baby at the thought of you crying or howling in pain at his latest attack upon you.

You do yourself best by ignoring anything the dummy does, says, or posts.
You should block him from any social media account you own.
You can also delete all social media accounts, create new ones, and vet each and every person you allow to interact with you.
You can change your email accounts, telephone numbers, and only allow people you approve of to have the information necessary to reach you.

This works because of what we learned in Psych101, stimulus - response.
If you don't respond to the stimulus, the organism will eventually extinguish the response.

Think about a typical 3 year old that stomps her foot, screams, cries, and shouts because you told her she can't have a candy bar.

if you ignore her antics,m she eventually calms down, and life returns to normal.

No response, the organism extinguishes its own behavior.

The little rat snake that taunts you will eventually s;lither away, unsatisfied, agitated, and unfulfilled because you ignore its shenanigans.

Of course any physical attacks should be immediately reported to the police, along with any threats communicated towards you.

Good luck, as this too shall pass.
 
"You should block him from any social media account you own.
You can also delete all social media accounts, create new ones, and vet each and every person you allow to interact with you.
You can change your email accounts, telephone numbers, and only allow people you approve of to have the information necessary to reach you."

I can't agree with this advice enough, block him, change your name on FB to something specific (like first name, initial) and remove your profile pictures for now. Make all your pictures and posts Friends Only so you can control who can see what you are posting. FB privacy also has a way to show you what your profile looks like to people who are NOT your friends so you can see what is public. You can also lock down your friend list somehow. So hopefully this whacko hasn't printed that out.
 
WVgal said:
I've asked him to stop, but he refuses.
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No surprise there. He will keep doing it as long as he know he is getting to you.

Follow all the suggestions and then ignore him. Tell your friends and family to ignore him.

Eventually, he will look elsewhere for his jollies.

However, on the odd chance that he turns out to be a lunatic that comes to your house in the middle of the night, I suggest you buy a gun and learn how to use it.

By the way, having an online long distance relationship is just plain stupid. I sure hope you've learned that lesson.
 
WVgal said:
Is there anything that can be done to stop this?
Click to expand...

Depends on what exactly was done. Your post contains mostly conclusory allegations and only a hint of actual fact. Your recourse, if any, depends on what exactly was done. What exactly did he say or write that you feel is defamatory? "[C]ontact[ing] [your] family, . . . friends [and] workplace" isn't, by itself, illegal. Nor is sending pictures of you to people unless there is something specific that would make that illegal. Same with posting about you on social media.
 
adjusterjack said:
No surprise there. He will keep doing it as long as he know he is getting to you.

Follow all the suggestions and then ignore him. Tell your friends and family to ignore him.

Eventually, he will look elsewhere for his jollies.

However, on the odd chance that he turns out to be a lunatic that comes to your house in the middle of the night, I suggest you buy a gun and learn how to use it.

By the way, having an online long distance relationship is just plain stupid. I sure hope you've learned that lesson.
Click to expand...
Yes! I sure have!!
 
zddoodah said:
Depends on what exactly was done. Your post contains mostly conclusory allegations and only a hint of actual fact. Your recourse, if any, depends on what exactly was done. What exactly did he say or write that you feel is defamatory? "[C]ontact[ing] [your] family, . . . friends [and] workplace" isn't, by itself, illegal. Nor is sending pictures of you to people unless there is something specific that would make that illegal. Same with posting about you on social media.
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I'm soooo done with social media for now.. I can't believe the things people can do and get away with it. Guess we live and learn.. Sometimes the hard way unfortunately.
 
hrforme said:
"You should block him from any social media account you own.
You can also delete all social media accounts, create new ones, and vet each and every person you allow to interact with you.
You can change your email accounts, telephone numbers, and only allow people you approve of to have the information necessary to reach you."

I can't agree with this advice enough, block him, change your name on FB to something specific (like first name, initial) and remove your profile pictures for now. Make all your pictures and posts Friends Only so you can control who can see what you are posting. FB privacy also has a way to show you what your profile looks like to people who are NOT your friends so you can see what is public. You can also lock down your friend list somehow. So hopefully this whacko hasn't printed that out.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much.
 
army judge said:
If he doesn't reside in your state, a restraining order isn't viable or practical.

Even if he and you reside in the same state, restraining orders rarely achieve the protection people are seeking.

I'm sure you've read about a person having an active restraining order and ended up being killed, raped, or assaulted by the person that was supposed to have obeyed the order.

That's the problem with restraining orders, they require the abuser's compliance with the order.

Miscreants and mentally deranged folk aren't wired to understand what behavior is expected of an adult.

People who do what the one is doing to you don't usually obey anything or anyone, except their misguided moral compasses.

You'll find that vermin will disappear if you IGNORE their childish antics.

Scum like the one you describe take delight and pleasure in taunting, harassing, and abusing others.

Imagine the little worm giggling with delight in his soiled underwear, giggling like a baby at the thought of you crying or howling in pain at his latest attack upon you.

You do yourself best by ignoring anything the dummy does, says, or posts.
You should block him from any social media account you own.
You can also delete all social media accounts, create new ones, and vet each and every person you allow to interact with you.
You can change your email accounts, telephone numbers, and only allow people you approve of to have the information necessary to reach you.

This works because of what we learned in Psych101, stimulus - response.
If you don't respond to the stimulus, the organism will eventually extinguish the response.

Think about a typical 3 year old that stomps her foot, screams, cries, and shouts because you told her she can't have a candy bar.

if you ignore her antics,m she eventually calms down, and life returns to normal.

No response, the organism extinguishes its own behavior.

The little rat snake that taunts you will eventually s;lither away, unsatisfied, agitated, and unfulfilled because you ignore its shenanigans.

Of course any physical attacks should be immediately reported to the police, along with any threats communicated towards you.

Good luck, as this too shall pass.
Click to expand...
Your reply has helped me so much! Thank you!! I thought about what you said about just totally ignoring him and that's what I've been doing and not stressing anymore . But it still bothers me that anyone can get enjoyment out of trying to ruin someone publically...for what reason? Is it a type of control thing? Pushing the right buttons to get a response out of me? I will never again get involved with anyone else like that ever again!! Lesson painfully learned...
Once again, thank you.
 
WVgal said:
Your reply has helped me so much! Thank you!! I thought about what you said about just totally ignoring him and that's what I've been doing and not stressing anymore . But it still bothers me that anyone can get enjoyment out of trying to ruin someone publically...for what reason? Is it a type of control thing? Pushing the right buttons to get a response out of me? I will never again get involved with anyone else like that ever again!! Lesson painfully learned...
Once again, thank you.
Click to expand...


People only do to you that which you permit.

The FIRST time someone fails to respect your limits, break off all contact with that person.

Despite claims to the contrary, men can lead great lives without women, and women can lead great lives without men.

Don't allow a hungry varmint to violate your garden.

Just as nations secure their borders, banks secure their money, humans must secure their lives!!!
 
army judge said:
People only do to you that which you permit.

The FIRST time someone fails to respect your limits, break off all contact with that person.

Despite claims to the contrary, men can lead great lives without women, and women can lead great lives without men.

Don't allow a hungry varmint to violate your garden.

Just as nations secure their borders, banks secure their money, humans must secure their lives!!!
Click to expand...
I fully agree!! After doing some of my own research on him..I WAS TOTALLY SHOCKED at what I found out! Hasn't worked for several years, domestic violence change, lives with his parents, no drivers license. .everything I thought i knew was lies. Ive never let my gaurd down before in my life. .I've so learned my lesson! I feel so naive. .but more aware.
 
WVgal said:
I fully agree!! After doing some of my own research on him..I WAS TOTALLY SHOCKED at what I found out! Hasn't worked for several years, domestic violence change, lives with his parents, no drivers license. .everything I thought i knew was lies. Ive never let my gaurd down before in my life. .I've so learned my lesson! I feel so naive. .but more aware.
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He has also made it publically known that he will not stop till he destroys me. I just received this info today.
 
WVgal said:
He has also made it publically known that he will not stop till he destroys me. I just received this info today.
Click to expand...


Not only should you IGNORE him, you should tell anyone that wishes to bring you GOSSIP, "Sorry, I am uninterested in GOSSIP. I don't wish to be rude, so let's discuss something more pleasant."

If Gossip Gerty or Gossip Gill won't stop, simply walk away and put them on YOUR DON'T CONTACT ME LIST.

If you believe a crime is being or will be committed, simply call "911".

Your local deputy sheriff, police officer, marshal, constable, or gendarme will soon appear, ready, willing, and able to take a report.
 

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