grandparents seeking visitation beware

..only if Mom has sole legal custody can SHE do that without Dad's permission.

Does she have that?

I would never sue my son I just would like the supervised visits lifted, at least give the court the correct information about me my son is laughing real good about this recient order, we used to joke around about me being certified crazy, i never thought he would use it against me in such a vengeful matter. Hes stated clearly when i asked if i could bring over christmas presents just to drop them off he said I dont want your gift I dont want anything to do with you you have no family and will die a lonely lady.enjoy my son while you can because thats the only family you have and thats not for long. Ididnt reply. I can only guess that its because Ive continued to care for my grandson after he left the mother. should I of given up my relationship with my grandson for my son?knowing ide never see him or my grandson, like when he took him forr that time its not what he did its how he did it.

no she doesent. so help me understand, if you suspect abuse from the other parents girlfriend and you want to get theraphy for your child to help him deal with whatever it is hes going through and the other parent dont want that , you as a parent are not allowed to seek help for your child?Im sure not all therapist require both parents permissions.

jrenee said:

no she doesent. so help me understand, if you suspect abuse from the other parents girlfriend and you want to get theraphy for your child to help him deal with whatever it is hes going through and the other parent dont want that , you as a parent are not allowed to seek help for your child?Im sure not all therapist require both parents permissions.

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If they have joint legal custody, it means that if the parents cannot agree they must take it back to court and have the judge decide.

If one parent has sole custody, it means they make ALL the decisions about medical care.

Obviously in an emergency either parent - regardless of legal decision-making privileges - can seek medical care.

If there is suspicion of abuse, either parent (and indeed ANY person who is suspicious of abuse) can report the suspicions to CPS. Then CPS will investigate - and if there is cause, they will have the child examined independently. That's their role.

I'm going to be very very honest with you here, and I'm truly not trying to upset or hurt you.

But I sense that at least part of the problem you're having is because you are (possibly without realizing it) trying to manipulate your daughter-in-law into doing what you think is right.

That's really not your role. I know you're concerned, but child services have already been involved and found no reason to remove the child, right? Then by continuing to stir the waters you're only going to cause even more trouble.

The therapist is not party to a custody decision (though these days many will insist on seeing prove of legal custody before accepting a minor client when the parents are divorced!); but if Mom goes against Dad's wishes she could find herself in hot water.

I truly do understand where you're coming from. But this is now a parenting issue between Mom and Dad - and you really have to let THEM deal with it. Because if you don't step back a little, I can see you losing all three. And that wouldn't be good.

jrenee said:

Im greatful for my friend who supervises its just that it restricts us to my house, summer is comming and we are so into going places and doing stufff and my friend is a bit older and surly not active. The order is a person over 18 and compatent! so what im not compatent? all the court knows is i have mental issues as my son put it, that could be anything when its depression, who doesent have depression. Im fighting for a reason these days

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I don't know what tell you.

Proserpina has given you some very heart felt wisdom, steeped in legal principles.

I suggest you enjoy your grandson.

Just enjoy your time with him, and try to make him feel better.

Somethings we can't fix.

But, you can at least give him an hour or two of pleasant respite.

If all you get is an hour or so at your home, just enjoy it and him.

He may come to you in tears, send him home with a smile!

I appreciate your advice , I wish I could just drop this and tell me if it were your grandson returnning home with bruises every week would you say nothing to anyone?could you just let it go and enjoy the time you get to see him without concern that when he leaves hes going not to be safe. I wish I could send these pictures to you then youll see im not making more out od this then it is, it is what it is abuse. I will be making another call to cps as again after time at his dads in the care of this lady he is returned with bruises in the middle od his back and on the top of his earlobe againg deep dark red bruise.would you be able to view the pictures if i sent them.

The mom is to busy, im the one he is with for the next five days.she never wants to deal with this stuff and in the meantime my grandson is is hurting

If you believe someone is hurting the child, you can report it to the police.

If the child arrives in a battered, bruised, and abused condition, take him to the nearest emergency room and get him treated. The hospital personnel are mandated reporters.

The hospital physician will contact the police and CPS. They'll take it from there.

I don't doubt the veracity of your statements. But, proving this to me is irrelevant. My hands are more tied than yours.

Don't hesitate contacting the police, CPS, or the nearest hospital; if the lad appears to have been abused. God bless. I wish you and your grandson all the best!

jrenee said:

I appreciate your advice , I wish I could just drop this and tell me if it were your grandson returnning home with bruises every week would you say nothing to anyone?could you just let it go and enjoy the time you get to see him without concern that when he leaves hes going not to be safe. I wish I could send these pictures to you then youll see im not making more out od this then it is, it is what it is abuse. I will be making another call to cps as again after time at his dads in the care of this lady he is returned with bruises in the middle od his back and on the top of his earlobe againg deep dark red bruise.would you be able to view the pictures if i sent them.

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Thank you , AJ.

And really, OP, that's ALL you can do. If the child is returned with obvious signs of abuse you can take him IMMEDIATELY to the emergency room.

But you must also be prepared to be told that "He's a toddler - they get hurt. They tumble".

If there are TRUE signs of abuse, CPS will get involved.

I did as everyone suggested I stepped back and the first time I saw my grandson in a month, the mother had me meet at the park and you should of seen him run as fast as he could all the way from the parking lot, he flew into my arms and squeezed my neck and repeatedly said "i missed you, nana", 'i love you nana". we hugged, i cried just a little bit then off to play we went. We sat next to eachother and ate lunch and he proudly sang the Alphabets for me.while laying in the grass with my grandson on his mommy tummy, his mommy said"did your son have bald spots when he was his age" 4 years old. 'no why"? she moves my grandsons hair to reveal a bald patch the size of my palm.! I said nothing to the mom and tried to get a pic. but I think he knew what I was up to so I let it go. I visited for exactly 1 hour and 47 minutes total.That evening when I knew my grandson would be back at his dads I called to have a 'Well baby check up done', through our local police, they said child was fine. On monday I called CPS his school and the local police.After CPS met with dad girlfriend and mom, girlfriend is not allowed to be alone with my grandson and I even though I wasent present at meeting and though I have never been investigated by CPS nor have I ever been contacted by CPS I now have to go through the courts to have supervised visit with a court visitation monitor!!!!appariently my son said some terrible things out of retailation for me calling CPS.Saying the first time I see him in a while he goes to his teacher and tells her 'the girlfriend pulled out his hair' and that I brainwashed him into saying that.I didnt speak to him about it but I surely urged the mom to and she did.These are the resaults what do I do?

Um...you called CPS because the child had a bit of a bald patch?

Why did you do that?

I can't tell you what you should do.

If it were me, I'd have kept my mouth shut.

Yeah, that's what I'd have done, kept my mouth shut.

Hey, maybe you could try that, you know, just keep your mouth shut and your nose out of their business.


Just sayin', that's all, just sayin'!!!!!

(We don't have a "like" button, do we?)