sister siding with brother-in-law

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magareb

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I have a situation where my cousin's sister is siding with her brother-in-law. Quick story. He was caught by a PI entertaining lady friend, wife filed for divorce without him knowing she had this info now 17 months later (she also has a friend that he found out about) but sister thought she should work things out. They do have kids and as she has expressed to the sister for sometime now this has been over no sex no anything throughout this period. Now he wants sole custody of the kids (I believe or we believe he knows that she and her friend have joint credit cards together). He has asked the sister to write a letter on his behalf claiming he can better take care of the children. Though I guess this is what you may call adultery for her, but can she lose her kids because of this? Her contribution to the home has not changed in spite of her other cards nor has she taken from her contributions to the home to help pay the cards she has with someone else....please respond.

BTW...she does have a lawyer for all this just trying to give her some comforting info if possible
 
We know very little of the story here, but they both need to contact attorney's. Regardless if there was adultery or not, it probably will not matter in a no fault divorce state. If either party is citing fault, it might come into play. Of course they can always try to work something out as to avoid an ugly custody battle.
 
she initially cited it on him and since has moved on awaiting the divorce. During this time they are fighting for custody. Since he has found out she has outstanding credit cards with another individual, he is trying to use this against her with her family though she has never told them about what she has on him. Could she possibly lose her kids because of something like this?
 
Again it all depends on the states divorce laws. It was pretty dumb of her to have credit cards with someone else. She needs an attorney. It might make a difference for custody purposes. What she has on him might be irrrelevent.

without knowing on the facts its hard to say. Hopefully she has an attorney.
 
This is NYC. I agree somewhat. If they (the 2 married) are not involved but are still maintaining a household what is wrong with it? He clearly had and has been carrying on a relationship outside as well, it is just that he thinks she doesn't know about it. Prior to any of this she was a stay at home mom for 8-9 years and going to school. There was no physical abuse, but he would say demeaning things to her during the course of this time. Also, wanting to talk about his attraction to one of her friends and being upset when the friend was seemingly interested in someone else (footnote the friend works in the same place the husband does). I don't want to use exact words but here is something similar to what he has said to her: When you have had a leahter coat for so long you want to try a new one? And he would say stuff like that to her in different ways. They have not been intimate for appx. 2 something years and she is very sure he has had other relationships before and during that time to present. She started hers appx. 8-9 months ago officially. She does have a lawyer and they are going through divorce and custody proceedings at present. My concern is that he is trying to use this info to gain custody of the children. Is this possible. Neither one is a bad parent I must say, but can this be used agianst her in custody? If there is anything you need specific to know to better help answer things for me please post.
 
NY state is a pain in the butt to get divorced in. There must be grounds and adultery is one of them. Adultery may come into play for child custody in NY. So I am not sure what grounds they are divorcing on but NY is not a no fault state.

Her attorney can best guide her.
 
She has filed constructive abandonment and inhumane cruelty. What do you mean by no fault. I know it should be simple but I would really like to know what that means. She also has evidence that dates back to before ANYTHING he can come up with concerning credit cards. Does that make a difference? I don't think she plans to deny the relationship(I don't think she should admit it, but she is not much of a liar) just needing some clarity to try and bring to her.
 
magareb said:
She has filed constructive abandonment and inhumane cruelty. What do you mean by no fault. I know it should be simple but I would really like to know what that means. She also has evidence that dates back to before ANYTHING he can come up with concerning credit cards. Does that make a difference? I don't think she plans to deny the relationship(I don't think she should admit it, but she is not much of a liar) just needing some clarity to try and bring to her.
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Duranie or anyone I would still like your thoughts on the above, but since she has talked to her lawyer about it. He says it doesn't matter because they are already separated(even though they still live in the same house). She filed almost 2 years ago but he fighting for custody.
 
A no-fault divorce law means that you can get a divorce and do not have to give a reason.
 
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