I'm not even sure where to start really. I'm a single mom of 3, atleast I used to be. I had my daughter at 17 and her father saw her once at that point and never again. I filed with child support enforcement to find him and not till she was nearly 10 did they. I had just recently moved to Colorado when he called my mother demanding to know where I was, because he got custody of her and wanted to make arrangements to get her. Long story short he only got joint legal custody which makes no sense really, but gives him no rights save for basic knowledge.
I had always told my daughter about her father and just told her things went wrong, and he loves her he just doesn't know it. I fought for years to bring him around and I even stayed in contact with his aunt who also continued a relationship with my daughter.
As soon as My mother gave me the information to reach him, I allowed my daughter to speak with him and begin knowing each other. He filed for full custody in Virginia for a child he had never met and was 10 years old.
I had only been in Colorado 3 months but I took this to the courts while allowing their relationship to grow. I was granted custody while he was given ample visitation even after just one, four day meeting. When he was told to pay child support... he actually asked the judge if I was to pay him child support while he had her.
After he got some of what he wished he stopped calling but every couple weeks, and we made plans to fly her to Indiana where he lives to spend the summer with her. I went as far as driving to the airport 5 hours away to get her there, where she freaked out, she was scared to leave, didn't know them well enough, etc etc. I tried to get her to go, but she was freaked and I would not force her. What child wouldn't be deathly afraid of living with someone for nearly 3 months who you've only met once.
Well this gave him rein to ruin my life as I knew it. He contacted the courts, lied and said I ran with her, he hadn't a clue where I was. He never again called me or my mother to find out. In September I was ripped from my children and arrested in front of them and their teams at football practice (I also have two boys from marriage after my daughter's birth) I was incarcerated and flown to Colorado where I had heart conditions that made them send me to a shelter on daily reporting while I continued the case.
As if it couldn't get much worse, He came and took Tessa using the Virginia document that was no longer valid because of the Colorado document and took her from my mother's house in Virginia. I was issued a no contact order for my daughter which is actually what festered my heart condition.
I was left in Colorado away from all of my children until the court case was over. I had a great case laid out, according to the UCCJEA Colorado had no rights to touch the case to begin with, but the Da and my public defender work for the same people and told me that if I fought the issue they would push trial all the way till June, and I would not be allowed to go home to see any of my children. But if I took a deferred sentence I could go home that day. Which do you think I chose?
On January 19th, I was freed from the grips of Colorado save for the unsurpervised probation etc. I went home and began rebuilding my life. Since the no contact order was completely modified to just no harrassment, my attorney told me I could go get my daughter, but I chose not to rip her out of a school she enjoyed since she was alright for then. I called when they would answer and kept in as much contact as I could.
Then a couple weeks ago, I spoke to her father who told me she wanted to stay and that I was to leave her alone. I spoke to her and when asked she said her father was right there listening in to the call. How much pressure can a now 12 year old take. We always had a very open relationship, and now I couldnt even help her make the best decision for her, no matter who would be upset in the end, even if it was me, but I wanted her answer, not one he forced upon her.
He took the phone when I asked and continued to call me a liar, a whore, a horrible mother, all with my daughter sitting there. I lost it and hung up. I couldn't bare for him to continue saying such things about me while she sobbed and listened to it all. I could hear her crying in the background.
Because he figured he pushed me over the edge he went back to colorado courts, who have been ignoring me since I kept asking them to take the order back to the judge. Her father's attorney got them to give the father temporary sole custody. And he has filed in Indiana for full sole custody.
I was not always the most stable mom, I moved occassionally to find better work, and I was not always financially fit, but I always worked so hard to raise caring beautiful children. Anyone you ask will tell you how healthy and well behaved they are. How kind and sweet they are, compassionate. I taught my kids to help the elderly with their graceries, and help small children who fell to stand again. They are all so smart and wonderful, and yeah I'm partial because they are mine, but I do have wonderful kids. And though I haven't always been the best provider, theyt have ALWAYS been safe and well taken care of.
Now, in less than a years time my life has been turned upside down. I don't knwo why the anymosity from him, maybe because I forced him to admit she was his after he told his family and new wife over and over My daughter was not his. I don't know. all I know is its been 9 months since I've seen my baby and you can't do that to a parent or a child. She was ripped from the only parent she knew all her life to be thrown into this.
I can't afford an attorney, I'm trying so hard to get my life back together. a new home, new job, saving money, just all in all getting on my feet. And I still have my boys to consider, I gave custody to my mother of them to take care of them while I was incarcerated. I'll be getting them back soon since I got an apartment and a new job that are both going well.
I'm fairly smart, I can do alot of the leg work for myself. But I need advice on how to go about this. Of course these are not all the tiny details, but it's the majors and I just need some help and advice so this all goes for what's best for my daughter.
Thank you, I look forward to all your help.
I had always told my daughter about her father and just told her things went wrong, and he loves her he just doesn't know it. I fought for years to bring him around and I even stayed in contact with his aunt who also continued a relationship with my daughter.
As soon as My mother gave me the information to reach him, I allowed my daughter to speak with him and begin knowing each other. He filed for full custody in Virginia for a child he had never met and was 10 years old.
I had only been in Colorado 3 months but I took this to the courts while allowing their relationship to grow. I was granted custody while he was given ample visitation even after just one, four day meeting. When he was told to pay child support... he actually asked the judge if I was to pay him child support while he had her.
After he got some of what he wished he stopped calling but every couple weeks, and we made plans to fly her to Indiana where he lives to spend the summer with her. I went as far as driving to the airport 5 hours away to get her there, where she freaked out, she was scared to leave, didn't know them well enough, etc etc. I tried to get her to go, but she was freaked and I would not force her. What child wouldn't be deathly afraid of living with someone for nearly 3 months who you've only met once.
Well this gave him rein to ruin my life as I knew it. He contacted the courts, lied and said I ran with her, he hadn't a clue where I was. He never again called me or my mother to find out. In September I was ripped from my children and arrested in front of them and their teams at football practice (I also have two boys from marriage after my daughter's birth) I was incarcerated and flown to Colorado where I had heart conditions that made them send me to a shelter on daily reporting while I continued the case.
As if it couldn't get much worse, He came and took Tessa using the Virginia document that was no longer valid because of the Colorado document and took her from my mother's house in Virginia. I was issued a no contact order for my daughter which is actually what festered my heart condition.
I was left in Colorado away from all of my children until the court case was over. I had a great case laid out, according to the UCCJEA Colorado had no rights to touch the case to begin with, but the Da and my public defender work for the same people and told me that if I fought the issue they would push trial all the way till June, and I would not be allowed to go home to see any of my children. But if I took a deferred sentence I could go home that day. Which do you think I chose?
On January 19th, I was freed from the grips of Colorado save for the unsurpervised probation etc. I went home and began rebuilding my life. Since the no contact order was completely modified to just no harrassment, my attorney told me I could go get my daughter, but I chose not to rip her out of a school she enjoyed since she was alright for then. I called when they would answer and kept in as much contact as I could.
Then a couple weeks ago, I spoke to her father who told me she wanted to stay and that I was to leave her alone. I spoke to her and when asked she said her father was right there listening in to the call. How much pressure can a now 12 year old take. We always had a very open relationship, and now I couldnt even help her make the best decision for her, no matter who would be upset in the end, even if it was me, but I wanted her answer, not one he forced upon her.
He took the phone when I asked and continued to call me a liar, a whore, a horrible mother, all with my daughter sitting there. I lost it and hung up. I couldn't bare for him to continue saying such things about me while she sobbed and listened to it all. I could hear her crying in the background.
Because he figured he pushed me over the edge he went back to colorado courts, who have been ignoring me since I kept asking them to take the order back to the judge. Her father's attorney got them to give the father temporary sole custody. And he has filed in Indiana for full sole custody.
I was not always the most stable mom, I moved occassionally to find better work, and I was not always financially fit, but I always worked so hard to raise caring beautiful children. Anyone you ask will tell you how healthy and well behaved they are. How kind and sweet they are, compassionate. I taught my kids to help the elderly with their graceries, and help small children who fell to stand again. They are all so smart and wonderful, and yeah I'm partial because they are mine, but I do have wonderful kids. And though I haven't always been the best provider, theyt have ALWAYS been safe and well taken care of.
Now, in less than a years time my life has been turned upside down. I don't knwo why the anymosity from him, maybe because I forced him to admit she was his after he told his family and new wife over and over My daughter was not his. I don't know. all I know is its been 9 months since I've seen my baby and you can't do that to a parent or a child. She was ripped from the only parent she knew all her life to be thrown into this.
I can't afford an attorney, I'm trying so hard to get my life back together. a new home, new job, saving money, just all in all getting on my feet. And I still have my boys to consider, I gave custody to my mother of them to take care of them while I was incarcerated. I'll be getting them back soon since I got an apartment and a new job that are both going well.
I'm fairly smart, I can do alot of the leg work for myself. But I need advice on how to go about this. Of course these are not all the tiny details, but it's the majors and I just need some help and advice so this all goes for what's best for my daughter.
Thank you, I look forward to all your help.
