husbands grandchildren & interstate compact

[redmans47]

my husband has 2 grandchildren that live in nj & we live in va. we are foster/adoptive parents for va. the child is now living with a family that was going to keep her, but the childs mother, my step-daughter has decided she wants us to have the child. there is also another child that is hers, living in the same home. they couple are both men, one has been surgically altered. the social worker in nj says we are "back up" in case something goes wrong & the youngest child can't stay there. their criminal checks were bad, with criminal activity in many states. the older child, we are told, is not available because he has already been signed over to this couple. the father really isn't his father. they all lied so he could get him. now the mother, my step-daughter wants us to have them both. the social worker said in order to get the older one, we have to go to family court & apply for custody. we live 600 miles away, any advice ? thanks