An interesting story...

[Industrialvomit]

Hi, I'm going to make myself look like a jerk, but please finish reading before judging.

A long time ago I was tricked into getting pregnant to "keep me" from leaving (I'm bi polar), so I left anyways, I already had a baby and the father is/was a druggie/chronic liar with a serious criminal driving record. Anyways, I gave my son to his dad, and went on my merry way, I ended up getting married and now have another baby, making 3 all together. I don't want to have anything to do with the father, and I don't want to raise the boy, I owe money in child support, and there's probably a warrant out for my arrest now. My husband is also in the military. I had a plan, see I don't want to give my ex any money. It won't go for my son, my ex's mother takes care of him (he is very well taken care of and really happy) so I was putting it into a bank account, for when my son turned 18, then I'd give it to him and hope he'd understand why I did what I did, but since my husband is in the military, if he ever had a security clearance, I'd ruin it, and thus his career, and I don't want to do that. I need to know what options I have, I'm in Illinois and my ex is in wisconsin. I'd LOVE to terminate my rights and just be done with the whole thing (I was going to get an abortion but was threatened, I was 19 at the time, I'm now 25) I don't want custody even though I'm sure I could get it, but I don't want to pay my ex money to go buy pot with. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!

 

[Industrialvomit]

Since I can't edit my post I have to add that I DID try to be a part of his life, and was stood up every time, the child is being taken care of by his grandparents, it's one big happy family over there and believe me, if he wasn't being taken care of, then this wouldn't even be an issue, I did not abandon my son, I wasn't allowed to see him (something ALWAYS conviently came up) and when I did give my ex money, he spent it on booze and video games so I said I'd buy what the boy needed instead of giving money and thus the order for support. I don't want custody, I don't want visitation, I wanted an abortion, I was threatened, I couldn't give up for adoption because you need both parents consent, I would just rather be done with the situation but my ex'll never grow up and find a good woman to take my place (as is wisconsin termination proceedures) so I wanted to know options, if there are any.

 

[carney]

Unfortunately the only thing you can do is pay the child support if you are under a child support order. You really have no say in how that money is spent. If you are under a support order and the state is adding up the child support they can also charge interest, if your state does that, and it really makes what you owe enormous. Do the grandparents have legal custody of the child? If they have legal custody then the child support would go to them. You could look into it being paid to them since they are raising the child even if the father still has custody and the courts might listen but they might not too. You're better off just paying the support now if it has been ordered than saving it in an account for the child later because as you know you can get in a lot of trouble. The state can also report it to credit counselors and your credit can be ruined as well.

 

[Duranie]

The bottom line is....you cannot just give up your rights. Somebody else is rasing the child and financially taking care of it, you must pay your CS otherwise you face some serious legal troubles if you go into arrears so much.

Whoever is raising the child, they are entitled to receive the child support from you, only if they have legal custody. You can call CSE to see about making payments directly to the person raising the child, but as long as their is an order of support, you have to pay it.