Profanity as a settlement negotiation technique?

Now that's extreme conduct. Great article. I'm not surprised of such conduct in certain practice areas.

I remember serving as in-house counsel to a very well known Internet company. While many big firm lawyers jumped into startups, I had just left mine and was hired by the company just a few years out of law school, primarily high on my level of Internet expertise and contracting. This AmLaw Top 100 firm (at the very top) represented a very well known fitness instructor and model.

Our affiliate content deal was nothing more than her writing a short 300-500 word article once per month on our site in exchange for exposure. I crafted a short 3-4 page agreement which covered all the basics and made it easy to read and understand as our experts spanned the gamut, everything from tarot card readers and astrological experts to household names. The firm had the gall to send us a 20 page agreement, which was ludicrous, claiming that now they've provided us with a superior document and perfect template we could start again with to use and tailor to our liking. I told them that negotiating their agreement was far too difficult (I wanted to use colorful metaphors) and hoped that their client, who was probably paying them by the hour, would appreciate the shorter agreement.

We ended up modifying my agreement which was designed to complete simple deals. :)
 
We ended up modifying my agreement which was designed to complete simple deals. :)

I'm glad to see that you are also in the camp of designing contracts and agreements that are easy to understand and that are no more extensive than the circumstances call for. Some lawyers get too caught up in making their work look impressive and create long documents to justify a larger fee they wish to charge. It's unfortunate because that does not serve the client well and only serves to perpetuate the worst views the public has of lawyers.
 
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