parental authority being underminedREALLY NEED HELP FAST)

[magareb]

I have sole custody of my child(i've had the child since 2yrs old), but now the NCP parent who only has visitation and pays no child support is undermining my authority by telling the child, "if you get emancipated, you can come live with me." The non-custodial parent has alternate wkends and a month in the summer which is not strictly adhered to as well as myself not filing a violation of support for years simply because i was pushing for the 2 of them to have a relationship. I have even kept from the child the reason why I have custody (maybe it was/is wrong) but I truly felt I was protecting the child(now to be 16). Now the NCP is spinning a story that they were in school and other lies and because i do not let the child have their way, NCP is helping to facilitate the child not listening to me nor responding to my spouse or the chores the child has to do. Yet the NCP has not talked to me about this at all (I know this some another source). Some how I think the NCP thinks that with emancipation, they would not have to pay what is in arrears or that after emancipation, they would change it and get custody of the child.

1. Can the child be emancipated? w/o my permission. I have sole custody.
2. If the child is emancipated, can it be rescinded and the NCP get custody?
3. can I and are the things that I have mentioned grounds to have visitation limited if not eliminated?

 

[magareb]

I'm In Nyc

In Brooklyn

 

[ibis]

Hey,

I'm not a lawyer. I'm sorry both of you are in such a bad siutation. You may want to talk to someone who is an expert in family law. If you can afford it , family therapy for you and your child might also be helpful. The NCP appears to be manipulative and your child needs to learn how to recognize that behavior and how to respond to it. Otherwise the NCP will be jerking her (and you) around for life.

Does the NCP also live in NY state? New York doesn't have a special system for getting a minor declared emancipated. Emancipation is difficult to get. Basically the minor has to be self supporting. They must have a job, a place to live, and continue to go to school- all on their own steam. Neither parent can contribute financially unless the minor is entitled to money through social security.

This website might be helpful in explaining some of the details:
http://www.empirestatecoalition.org/emanc.html

 

[magareb]

any more help is appreciated

 

[magareb]

any more help is appreciated. she is in NY, but all this just to avoid arrears, you would try to destroy his stability for your own selfish gains. Not that he isn't getting anything out of this because he wants freedom he hasn't earned. Does she think she she;ll get custody and don't have to pay back? or get child support from me? I don't get it

 

[carney]

If the child tries to get emancipated you do have the right to go to court and protest it and tell the judge exactly what is going on. A judge will not emancipate a minor if they don't have job and pay their own bills and prove that they can live on their own and finish school at the same time. If the NCP owes you back child support, he/she still has to pay it even if the child goes to live with them. The NCP will have to petition the court for custody of the child though (which you can protest to) the child cannot just up and move in with the NCP without your permission so don't let them intimidate you. You may try getting the child into therapy so the doctor can show the child what the NCP is doing to undermine your relationship. A friend of mine went through the same thing with her daughter and after she went through therapy she started acting a lot better and appreciated her mother more.

 

[carney]

As far as getting visitation limited, you could always try that. The fact that the NCP is telling the child to get emacipated would make a judge furious. It would cost money to hire a lawyer and go to court but at least you could tell your story to the judge and the judge would know what's going on in case the NCP does try to petition for custody.

 

[Duranie]

It is very hard to be emanicipated under 18. The child must be employed full time and able to support themselves for one thing. Do a google search under NY emancipation laws" but I think your ex is just blowing smoke.


The child has to submit papers for emancipation but the child likely does not qualify.

It is doubtful you can get visitation revoked but if you feel the need to you can talk to an attorney.

 

[magareb]

Thank you all for responding

I was really stressed when this was 1st learned and rec'd info from you and others. The thing is (I can say it now) that i am the father and I have had him since 2 1/2 years old. That should kinda tell you what kind of personality we are dealing with. But now she is putting a serious spin on why she didn't have him and as I said b4 it is condusive for him since he wants more freedom. She is way behind on child support (I had stopped them from putting her in jail once b4 by waiving what she owed then and all I had asked from her is that she maintains contact with him). I wonder if now I should put in a violation order considering she is trying to destroy his only source of stability that he has ever known? She thinks that oncw he is emancipated that she wouldn't have to pay what she owes and that is her real motivation

 

[gelady]

Parental authority being undermined

I read in the family law section that a child can only be emancipated if they can show the court that they can support themselves financially, live on their own, Have the consent of the parents, if under 18 years of age show that they are obtaing an education. SSHe can't just get emancipated because she just wants to.

As for the NCP. Sounds like he's blowing air. Whatever is in arrears is still going to have to be paid by him, no matter what comes up with the situation. Sounds like my daughter's
kids DAD. Here is a suggestion. Let your daughter know that you are not in aggreement with her being emancipated and if she decides to try this, she will make it bad for her NCP and cause an investigation into the matter of both of her parents. I'm sure he will not want that to happen.