Need advice on husband's ex-wife

[InNeedOfPeace]

My husband has been divorced for 8 years. They have 2 children he pays child support on. We are not behind on support and keep our end of the visitation agreement. She is currently violating numerous agreements in the papers. She is living outside of the county she is required to live in. She undermines our time with the children by bribing them with toys, video games, movies, etc. Currently we are enjoying our court ordered half of the summer with the children. We have agreed to change her visitation to sunday-tuesday since her work schedule puts her days off then instead of friday-sunday. Now, she pushs everytime to make it to where she gets an extra day if not more of visitation. Just yesterday day she called my husband and told him the boys don't want to come back for their last week with us before school starts. When my husband asked to speak to the oldest boy (12 years old) she would not let husband speak to him in private. She put him on speaker phone so the whole family could listen. Any time my husband tries to stick up for himself or his rights she threatens to take him back to court and have his support raised. She has also threatened to not let him see the boys. I have over and over told him she legally cannot keep him from seeing his children. My question: Is there ANYTHING we can do to shut her up and get her to follow the divorce decree? I know these things usually rule in favor of the mother or custodial parent. I am just so frustrated and hurt seeing her treat him like that. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Duranie]

Dad needs to record mom doing this, and take her to court for contempt. The kids do not get to choose not to visit. Your husband needs to grow a backbone to her. She cannot get an increase in child support without an increase of income from your husband, and most jurisdictions only allow CS to be reviewed every 2 or 3 years.

 

[InNeedOfPeace]

Record as in video? or just documentation? I have told him over and over to do exactly that...get a backbone. CS has never been reviewed or increased. But by my calculations is the following correct?

1. Price of health insurance has been raised. Both my husband and I carry insurance on the children. I am not required to but do anyway for the good of the children. Would my premium also be calculated into that? There is a clause in the court decree that states support will be increased or decreased depending on the increase or decrease of insurance premiums we pay on the children.

2. She currently lives out of the county. Court decree states that she is to live inside the county. Could CS be decreased for us considering the extra amount of gas and time we spend on transporting the kids?

3. Also, if we do not comply with her demands to give the children hair cuts, buy school supplies, and school clothes she throws a fit and once again threatens to have CS re-evaluated. None of that is stipulated in the court decree. Can we save receipts and show that as extra support?

Thanks for your reply. I have never been divorced and have never had to deal with the court system. I am new to this and only want to protect/help my husband as much as possible.

 

[Duranie]

your husband needs to stop listening to her. If she moved out of the county, she should be meeting at least halfway for visits. He need to address this in his contempt charge. As far as recording, google the law in your state to make sure it is legal but if you can somehow record a threat over the phone, save it for court. If she keeps threatening to go to court to have CS raised, have Dad tell her he will then sue for custody. It seems mom is using the kids as a pawn and the courts will not be impressed with her. He also does not have to pay for anything outside of child support, unless the order says for him too. If mom keeps insisting he pay for all this, he is free to tell her to go take a hike.

I recommend your husband talk to an attorney on how to keep mom at bay. If she is not following the court visitation schedule, then its time to file contempt.

 

[InNeedOfPeace]

Thank you very much!! I will relay this info to DH tonight. Hopefully he will eventually "grow a backbone" and stand up to her.

One note: She does meet him most of the time for dropoff/pickup, but it is by no means halfway. That still puts us driving all the way to the other side of our county and halfway into another county. Round trip is almost 2 hours. If she lived in the county she's supposed to it would be no more than a 30-40 minute round trip.