jon_
New Member
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
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Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?
Because deep down, they are really good guys.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
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What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A shortage of sand.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Answer #1: Take your foot off his head.
Answer #2: No? Good!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
There was an empty seat.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetary.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid extra for a longer fight.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?
The lawyer charges more.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?
Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.
A good start!
----------
Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?
Because deep down, they are really good guys.
----------
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
----------
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A shortage of sand.
----------
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
----------
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Answer #1: Take your foot off his head.
Answer #2: No? Good!
----------
What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
There was an empty seat.
----------
Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetary.
----------
What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid extra for a longer fight.
----------
What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.
----------
What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?
The lawyer charges more.
----------
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
----------
What's the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?
Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.
----------
What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.
